It's Getting Bad
Published: March 10, 2022
I no longer know how to help myself and to get away with this bad habit at this point. It feels like my habit turned into addiction. I wanted to cry out of my frustrations last night before I closed my eyes.
Ever since this pandemic started, my sleeping routine has changed. From sleeping before 12 to sleeping at 4 am everyday. I hate it, I really hate it. I am trying. I planned on sleeping early but I just can't. I'm really at the brink of crying right now.
I have successfully altered my sleeping schedule before when I was getting sick and it lasted only for a week. After that, I got complacent again and my sleeping schedule deteriorated so fast. From sleeping before 12 to sleeping at 2 in the midnight and the most late was at around 5 or 6 am.
There have been days that I wasn't able to sleep at night. Using my phone all night has led me to become an addict. Scrolling through my feed even it's just almost the very same contents that I see.
Sleeping late at night is bad for my health. Not just for my physical health but also for my mental health and the way I am with other people. I have been irritable, a side effect of lack of sleep. It feels like everything around me is irritating and I get annoyed so easily. There are also times when I would attend class being sleepy and eventually leaving the zoom meeting just to get sleep. It's just so disappointing.
I know what's the root cause of this, no self-discipline and phone addiction plus having internet at home. I depend on my entertainment so much for using my phone and it has affected the way I live.
The moment I got out of bed for the second time today, I immediately deleted my social media apps that kept me awake every night. But there is one left, TikTok. I'm not sure if I am going to delete it since it's the app that entertains me the most but I will try my very best to discipline myself and start a time schedule while I'm using it.
I am now helpless. I don't know how to stop. Please help me. Deep down in my heart I know I can't do this alone. I wanted to find someone who would remind me to go to sleep early.
Final remarks:
Having a phone feels like having a tumor. Sometimes it's benign and sometimes it's malignant. Benign if it doesn't cause you harm and malignant if it's cancerous and is affecting the way you live and perform. I just want to get back to my old life when I wouldn't use my phone so much and just hangout with my friends.
At this point, I am not going to be hypocritical about getting enough sleep hence I would remind everyone to get enough sleep. Do not let yourself turn out like me, a sleep deprived individual.
Author's Note:
Please help me or try to sermon me. I really need it. Thank you for reading this!
Check out my previous articles:
Sad to know about your addiction to gadgets. Please be advised to give value of one life given to us. Our body needs to be relaxed to gain strength.