Are You An Effective Communicator?
"You write with a very strong voice," she said.
"Do I?" I was bemused. "I'm not trying to."
"But it is strong though. And depending on your audience, it could be intimidating. Let's restructure this."
I was sitting in my manager's office one day, reviewing a presentation I had proposed to present to the team later that week, and until her critique, I was quite proud of my work. When she pointed out the tone of my work, I was taken aback that my communication goals might not have been received as intended because my writing voice was strong. Because I take my work personally, of course, I wanted to cry, but I resolved to learn the lesson. Truth be told though, years later, I don't know that I have overcome this hurdle just yet. I have a strong personality, I write with a strong voice and sometimes my communication efforts can be misinterpreted.
A good writer is not necessarily a good communicator.
A good writer can manipulate language to create pictures, evoke emotions, tell stories. A good writer can grab you by the hand and take you on a journey and might even be great at describing every single detail along the way. But you can do all of these things and still not be an effective communicator if the purpose of your communication is not achieved. Effective communication is not simply about conveying a message so that it is received. It is also about ensuring that the message and the emotion and intent behind it is understood.
Effective communication achieves its intended outcome.
To achieve an intended outcome, you must do more than tell a great story. You must understand your audience.
A good communicator, therefore, does not just rush into a room with the package of things he wants to sell and start distributing, he observes first.
He doesn't yell, he listens, he absorbs, and when he finally communicates, he does not begin with the thing he wants to sell, he begins with the things his audience needs. He meets his audience at their place of interest or understanding and adroitly moves them to his intended outcome.
A good communicator is friendly, polite, and empathetic, not blunt. Unfortunately for me, when I am passionate about a topic, I can have all the communication skills of Sheldon in The Big Bang Theory mixed in with a bit of Tourettes Syndrome.
Communicating Through Diversity
Culture impacts the way communication is received, and in the article Culture and Communication Style, author Vijai N Giri notes, "Generally, people react to how we speak rather than what we say."
An article, How Does Culture Affect Communication published by the University of Houston in Victoria notes that even in the same language, e.g., English, the same words can convey different meanings in different cultures. Similarly, one's response to a situation may reflect their socialization and culture, but that can be interpreted in a different way cross-culturally, e.g., in some cultures, a direct approach to conflict is not unusual and it is not necessarily considered rude. In other cultures, it is. In some cultures, it is taboo to express emotion. In others, it's par for the course.
These are just some surface examples, but as we live and interact in an increasingly connected world, the effective communicator must be mindful of all these nuances if he or she is to be successful.
After all, as Carol Kinsey Goman states in the Forbes article, How Culture Controls Communications, "In today’s global business community, there is no single best approach to communicating with one another. The key to cross-cultural success is to develop an understanding of, and a deep respect for, the differences."
Taking Accountability
Recently, I received some constructive criticism under an article I had written for another blog. The reader noted that I used a cue often which he said took away from the quality of my work. At first I was confused because I thought I was being friendly with that cue, but then I stepped back and I said, oh, because I realized that the reader did have a very fair point. I think I understood what he meant and I apologized and thanked him for the correction.
We are now functioning in a truly global community online, and particularly in these decentralized blog spaces. And so, I think it's important sometimes that we understand that the way we engage with the world will be different.
A quick word of thanks to my sponsors. My dear readers, these writers are all great
people I have had the pleasure to interact with and I love their content. Please visit
their pages if you can.We are all products of our culture, and if we are online and on these spaces, it suggests at least that we are open to interacting with and learning about others, that is unless we propose to walk into the room and start yelling about the things we want to sell without a care for our audience.
Honestly, I think we can all help to make each other better, but it begins first with stepping out of our comfort zone and listening.
As recipients, sometimes, we try to assess communications by reading facial expressions and body language, but in online blog communities, we can only work with words. And, so with that additional handicap, I believe that a good strategy to apply is to always give the other party the benefit of the doubt.
As communicators, courtesy is key. There was a time when I felt that it would be fine to walk away from a situation thinking that my intent behind a message was enough, and that I was not responsible for the way it was received. With time though, I have learned that for all the skill in the world, selfish communication is the worst type of communication there is.
For me, I continue to be a work in progress. When I write, I try to align my intent with my words. I don't always get it right. My communication skills are still sub-par. I am, however, reminding myself to learn a little more every day.
And so, my friends, I close with one question: How effective are you in your communications?
Resources
como seria un mundo en que las personas no tuvieran filtro al hablar, seria un caos divertido y problemático a la vez, es algo en lo que siempre hay que trabajar la comunicación y tener la paciencia de escuchar aun sabiendo que la otra persona esta equivocada.