We Need to Stop This - Seriously!!! Stereotypes on women that kill us emotionally!!

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Avatar for Theblackdoll
3 years ago

Good morning brothers and sisters, and ughhhh.. where do I even start today?? The reason for me to force myself to do this my own family and usually as you guys know, I write either paranormal or goofy comedy posts but I want to be serious today, so what happened actually?

Few older men in our street has asked my father in law saying "your daughter in law is a Mother now, why she dresses like a teenager, why the sleeves on her dresses are small? why don't you ask your son to control her? Ask her to behave Mother like...."

First of all, Control????? what the heck is that even mean, HOW do you call a relationship or marriage if you "control" your life partner instead of motivating them and uplifting them? and they said "I should behave mother like".... as If I'm not already doing it? I cook, clean, help my daughter in her studies, clarify her doubts, I even left my corporate job for her where I was making 28000/- (28 grand) monthly to be with her because I do not believe in care takers.. Apart from all this, what else should I do??? seriously.......when this sad sick society standards be ever happy with us women?? as if we do not have issues already? physically, emotionally and in every possible way.... How and why is that a bunch of men decide on what a woman should wear on her OWN body?? how do you even explain this logic??

It was then, I decided to list all of the stereotypes about me/women that I have heard all through my 35 years of life... Mind you that most of these are sadly from people who literally saw me grow up, relatives, family friends and people who knows us.... if they themselves talk and judge this much, imagine other women/men from society... why don't they just let women breath??? let's get to the list now... on top of my head,

  • One of my uncles bought me a gift, a sports car controlled by battery and his wife looked at me and said "am not sure if you like it or no, I told him to buy you a barbie doll, because that is what girls should play with"...UGHHH right?? 😏😏😏I looked at my uncle and said "Thank you, for not buying me a doll.. I appreciate your gift uncle"... my aunt frowned all day.. I don't care though..

  • The literal colour palette that has been assigned to genders, pink to girls and blue to boys?? I hated that ever since I could think for myself.. and guess what, my most favorite colour is black... then blue... you don't believe me if I say this, I do not own a single piece of pink... not dress, not in lingere not even in kerchief form....

  • Differentiating with cloth choices? I was in 8th grade when my tuition sir told me "why are you dressing like a boy??" I was wearing a T and a pant.. so a literal dress changed my whole gender?? is that what it is?? I' m not a woman because I didn't wear a dress? Is that it??

  • in 10th grade, I went to my sports teacher and before I could even open my mouth, he said "why are you here, go study.. this is for boys?" he was training guys in cricket and I said "I came here to play chess".. he said "Oh a board game? I see I see, then you can enter...." so I can't play sports if it isn't a board game?? How do you explain magnificent women in sports then? who won awards, rewards??

  • I was talking louder in college because it was our break and my teacher said "shush, talk like a woman" while other guys are literally tearing the roof off and they weren't said anything... why? I did not stop shouting though...

  • This is the most I hate, there was a girl in our class who was a little chubby, because I hate the word obese, and our teachers used to pass judgement everyday saying "did you leave any food to your family or finished it? I hope you do not sleep in class"... bla bla.. Mind you, she used to eat as much as any other kid of that age, what can she do if that is her hereditary issue? Poor girls,.... stereotypes on us to be slim or fair skinned... absolutely ridiculous.. you are born in a shape and colour and OWN IT girls, like queens !!! 👑👑👑

  • When I was working, I pretty well know how and when to say "no" if i do not like something or someone... and because I was bold and know what I want, I was called a Bit*h but men who were doing the same were called "Assertive".... like what???? can somebody explain this?? 🤔🤔🤔

  • women with children are either not committed towards their children or job... I was told this by my in laws before we were trying for a kid and I was asked to leave my job.. if that is true, why leaving job, why not "not having a child".... how about that?

  • I saw one of my friend's application for promotion of her role was being rejected by her manager quoting "well, this job needs a lot of thinking and women are emotional, what if you decide something while you were in emotions or PMS??" This is the worst I swear to God.... 😡😡😡 So men wouldn't leave our menstruation even they have literally NOTHING to do with it huh????

  • If women show emotions, normal ones like angry, sad or frustrated "we would be called crazy" .. I was visiting one of my friends who was married and her husband was joking on "she gets crazy easily hahaha" and later that evening, he was cursing and banging the tv screen with remote because "his team whom he was rooting for did not win".... EXPLAIN ME CRAZY AGAIN SIR????? at least we do not break our tvs for make believe stuff... we become emotional for ACTUAL real life stuff... DON'T EVEN TRY SIR....

I'm sorry for the longest post I have ever made since the time i started writing here but I just couldn't stop venting... what should we do? Ignore? smile back? reply back? be angry? ... Me? I was and am literally exhausted from all the stereotypes and actually speaking, i do not have time for this crap anymore. BUT BUT, as a mother, and as Mothers among you and also as elder sisters among you, it is our primary duty to teach our younger generation in advance about all such issues and make them stronger from their childhood and also, those who have Sons, brothers have bigger duty to respect women as co-humans, explain them "They have the same rights as you, disrespecting them is not even an option for you".. because I watch a lot of true crime, and I'm honestly very scared for the future generation...Protect your girls Moms, from all the issues, Be there for them....and most importantly, if they come to you for advice, do NOT invalidate their problems immediately.. look into them.. you might end up fighting a hidden whale....

Please take time and let me know about what all stereotypes you guys has faced growing up??? How frustrated are you? I want to know all...

Pic: from Pixabay.com

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Avatar for Theblackdoll
3 years ago

Comments

Stereotypes never change. Its much difficult to change. The men who are not much bothered in the odd dressing of their own wives or kids, take much interest in other women's dress code. I think this issue affects globally every women to a certain extent. Never matter what others say, be confident and comfortable in what you do.

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3 years ago

Yes thank you, everybody has business in other's life except their own... have a great day :)

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3 years ago

Stereotyping should be stop. Especially about women's capabilities and choices. Let their be equality in everything. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. ❤️

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3 years ago

Thank you too, for your sweet comment, have a wonderful day :)

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3 years ago

You're welcome 💗

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3 years ago

I can relate! I remember back when Tamiya toy cars were in rage here when I was a kid. I was very curious about it because you can buy a kit that you can assemble on your own then you get to race with other kids. When I got my Christmas money, I bought a cheap kit and started assembling it at my aunt's house where everyone was gathering for Christmas. My uncle passed by, saw what I'm doing, then said, "are you sure you can do that? " i didn't respond but he kept on hounding me, not aggressively but still very annoyingly, saying that that kind of toy is for boys until my aunt shouted for him to let me be. I was very glad for my aunt's support but my uncle's words affected me. I was very confident I'd be able to build this exciting toy but all the doubts set in because of him. Sadly, I wasn't able to finish assembling the toy because I was too discouraged. All because he said that this toy was for boys.

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3 years ago

Oh no that made me sad, I was honestly rooting for you sis... but it's okay, you still tried, that speaks volumes. Forget about your uncle, some men are condescending that way.. you are good.

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3 years ago

I don't really like people who do stereotyping. Like do you see your dress as the same? Dude they are unique in each way. By on me, I looked everyone base on their attitude, and as a leader in school, I didn't gave task base on gender or something, I even ask for volunteers and let them do the task they wanted to do. For they are the one who knows which is the best for them

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3 years ago

you are a real one.. I appreciate people like you, society only develops because if we prefer inclusivity in everything, otherwise, only one set of people will develop and that is the biggest problem right now in this world

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3 years ago

Hello dear, I came here to visit because you left a compliment in my recent post.

So almost all of you content are in bold letters, it doesn't matter anyway. Kanya kanya style lang yan.. 👍😊

You know people are hard to please. People are strange and no matter how hard you try to please them it wont just work out right. Does it bother them seeing you that way? Your are just being true to yourself, do they have problems with that?

The only thing I can see problems with people is the way how they seems to be so nice to us but ironically they despise us when not around.

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3 years ago

Thank you for visitn me friend.. and yes, I prefer to post in Bold because it is easy to read 🤣🤣🤣, sorry if that bothered you :) and love your perspective

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3 years ago

nah... not that much, but that's kind of cute... all things bright and beautiful.. 🤣

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3 years ago

All things bright and beautiful, that's it... that's the line that explain an Indian 🤣🤣🤣,

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3 years ago

Stereotyping sucks. Common, give us some freedom to choose what we really want. Don't limit us base on your toxic basis. Wearing shirts and playing trucks is not just for boys. For pete's sake, those wear clothes and toys.

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3 years ago

So very true, i don't understand the concept of "this set of people should do this, this set of people should wear this...." like seriously, who sat down and wrote those stupid stuff

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3 years ago

I'm into both boy and girly stuff. hahaha

well, don't mind those type of people. As long as you're enjoying that's all what matters lol

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3 years ago

You are at no fault dear, you can do whatever you want until it makes YOU happy, nothing else matters :)

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3 years ago

"and guess what, my most favorite colour is black... then blue..." It's coincidental but my favourite color is also blue, in fact all my shirts are blue I don't have shirts of another colour.

Concerning sports, maybe they forgot that serena William's is a woman, a professional tennis player.

Don't let all these things get to you, just ignore them. It's actually okay to vent and write about what makes you angry. Contrary to what you think, the post isn't too long, I actually enjoyed every part of it. The problem is that women have always been considered a "personal belonging" to men since the beginning of time, they believe they belong to men, and are born so they can be controlled. It's sad because women don't get to pick their genders, it just happened. And those that eere born as men see themselves as the lucky ones. What a bias world!

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3 years ago

so true, I hated and still hate to be a woman, I'm not even joking, that is why I talk, sit, eat, behave and wear like a guy... but my stupid face is too feminine for this 🤣🤣

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3 years ago

I played dolls when I was a kid 😅 even like the girly colors like pink haha.. But a guy looks cute in pink shirt though

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3 years ago

100% agree, my husband has a couple of Pink and magenta Ts.. looks great on him

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3 years ago

I don't remember playing with dolls when I was young. We play big trucks and stuff. My farm boy has more pink in his wardrobe than I do. More women are out, kickass in their careers than ever before.

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3 years ago

Exactly my point, i don't blame men who wears pink, it looks great on them, society sucks calling them names, my husband has couple of pink Ts, looks great on him

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3 years ago

Yes, pink looks better in men :)

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3 years ago

I'm a guy but I didn't play with dolls either...🤣🤣🤣 just kidding.

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3 years ago

Lmaoo, don't worry, the dolls might play with you in the future 🤣🤣

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3 years ago

Never ever 🤣🤣

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3 years ago

I didn't have girl toys e.g barbie dolls. And like you, I don't have any pink possessions lol hahaha. I hate it. Too girly (I'm sorry) I love blue too and black and green yeah. What about tees and pants? I love that! Almost all of what you've said have confronted me already. And I won't deny, for all are true. They suck!

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3 years ago

they suck big time, ts and pants are so comfy, we can get so much done and move faster.. i cannot even imagine doing so much in a saree lmaoo 🤣🤣

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3 years ago

I can feel your disappointments from here but you see let the narrow minded think what they want and do as you please. Never give them the satisfaction that you are affected with what they are saying.

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3 years ago

So true, pulling out other's emotions is exactly what they need....best not to even respond, thank you!!

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3 years ago

I was sick and tired of it too doll. I hated the society for having such illness. But then again i couldn't o something about it so I just make myself strong and don't care what and how they would judge me. It's my life and if I don't harm any other people then I will do what I want to do. Be strong doll. Be happy and do whatever you want as long as it's rightful in the eye of the father in heaven. Virtual hugs from me to you. 🙆

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3 years ago

Aww thank you Grace, you are so graceful just as your name and I agree, we just have to keep doing our thing, rest all, not even worthy to give our attention to

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3 years ago

Yes that's the spirit. Your most welcome doll.

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3 years ago

When I was a kid, I always prefer to have toy guns over barbie dolls. They would label me oppositely the way I should be just because of the games I play.*sighs. I look tough tho I'm a girl back then. It was maybe because I was with the boys most of the time.

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3 years ago

Good for you, girls like you make me proud... A girl shouldn't act weak, they should act tough and not easy

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3 years ago

Often times, we are always told to do this and that. Your a lady, act like a lady..when youre a little girl its easy to manipulate you but when your a grown up you can say no and be who you are, wear what you want, etc

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3 years ago

Your comment made so much sense, it's all the manipulation that was forced on us fromm childhood, I'm grateful, my dad didn't do that. My mom did, but dad used to tell me "be yourself"... thank you

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3 years ago

Me, I was criticized many times for the reason that I used makeup. They told me, girl at my age and a high school student is inappropriate to apply make up going to school though I am only using lip balm or lip sheener and sometime I used blush on for teens. So many judgemental nowadays.

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3 years ago

Haha yes, I aply lip balm to my daugher too, because it gets so hot in my city. Poor girl came home bleeding on her lips and I started using balms, her friends even though they are just 6 or 7, threatened they'd tell the teacher, she was scared so much and asked me to stop. But I did not... one day, I myself explained teacher it's just a balm and they did not tell anything...

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3 years ago

I can relate to this. Me laughing so hard would cause others to look me in the eye like I committed the biggest crime ever. For them, I should act like a true lady because I'm not so feminine, tbh. And it's annoying because for me, you won't be able to enjoy the moment if you hold back yourself. So I'd annoy them more by laughing all out.

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3 years ago

Omg this is so true and actually happened to me too, My father never used to criticize for anything, he actually liked me laughing but my husband's father used to ask me to reduce my tone of laughing.. I hate that, we are humans too? we have emotions right? how to control a laugh that comes naturally?? I would do the same thing as you, laugh even louder lol

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3 years ago

Yeah. I don't care about what they say. After all, I am not a princess that needs to follow certain rules. Lol. So heck yeah, laugh hard coz we're humans.

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3 years ago