Way To Go, Self
I have a lot of regrets now but I can't change it anymore so I better just accept it and make my today a brighter, better and much more meaningful one. But if there's a machine that ever invented where we can send a letter to our younger selfπ, I want to send this......
Hi Self!!! Wahhh, time flies really fast. I feel like it is only yesterday when you are just a baby crying your heart out because Mom won't buy you this things that you really want to have or even the things you want to do but not allowed to do so. The crybaby you are before is now full grown adult who's still a kid inside but way way stronger than before. You still cry but you cry more now because of some scene on the series you are watching .
I remember that even in small things you love to cry your heart out, you get too emotional easily but can't cry too loud or else Mom will shout at you, or worst you may get a hard slap either from you butt or your arms. If not you will really hear an earful and that is what we hated the most. Do you still remember that time when you are having a bad times because Mom get mad at you when you steal some bread to show off to your classmates?
It's your fault really so don't ever do that again. Stealing is bad and you should put that in your head. If you do bad things, say you're sorry. Don't cry just because Mom is giving you some lecture coz it is actually your fault. You are really a bad kid before but I know you will learned your lesson soon because of that. You will learn that if you do bad things you have to pay for it or you have to be punish coz it is not right to do bad things.
And I know you love reading pocketbook but don't just read a lot of romance book. Take time to read some books that will give you knowledge and make sure to study well so you wont regret that later. Don't focus much to your Pocketbook and listen to Mom that Pocketbook is not always good. Know that books that will give you enough knowledge is what also you need. And while you enjoy spending time on reading it why not enjoy reading knowledgeable books too?
It will help you a lot for sure. Do that and you won't have any regret later. Your life is a little sad yet it still has some exciting events to look forward so I hope just like what you always did, be calm and choose what's important and nothing else. That even if it's hard, and even it its already suffocating you will still choose to fight and finish what you have started. You can do it, I know. You already did so for sure you can do it again. I trust you so it will happen again.
And whatever you hear or whatever you experience in that lifetime, please hang in there like you always do. You will soon understand why it has to happen and why you have to be in that situation. And even if you thought that life is so unfair rather Mom is unfair still, please hang in there. You can think of ending your life but only that and not actually doing it. I know you will make it but I just want to remind you. Life is beautiful and if you wish for your dreams to happen.
Hang in there and continue your life and fight.!!! Continue living because soon the will come will everything will change an you will get to meet a lot of people. Even in your own world you still enjoy life and I think you are doing just fine. Life is not that easy but with you will to live, your will to make your dreams come true, soon you will taste the triumph that you are aiming everything will fall into their right places. It is only possible because you HANG IN THERE.
Way to go, self!
By the way this is your future self so make sure to come here and meet in the middle. Fighting!
I think I already share here that I also thought of ending my life but never really had the courage to even lift a knife on my arms or troat. It is just a thought that is cause by too much emotions that I never thought I will get over with. That time my dreams is what's important more than anything else. So, even if I think of that, I never really take some action to make it happen and I think that is because I am stronger than I thought. Not just that but also I have that dream that I really really want to happen. I guess my dreams is much stronger than my desire to end it all. And I am stronger that I think I am. Not that I think about it, reaching this far is not easy coz I also face challenges in my life. But I am thankful to those coz I think that what's makes my life more meaningful.
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June 24, 2022
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I can feel the more matured ruffa in this article ( κα΄κ) it's like talking to your younger self make you remember the sad events but also the good ones