Just Dump Them On the Paper

You know doing a lot of things is hard for me. (눈‸눈) Well, only for me. That's how a lazy gal who hates doing anything and just love to lay down on the bed and do nothing, think. Simple cleaning but seems so hard on me that just thinking about it is enough to make me burst in annoyance. Aside from my peace was broken again, I also have to do the things I hated the most which is cleaning and doing house chores except washing the dishes off course.

That is why everytime Mom will asked me to clean this or that my bad manners will appear on them. You know, if a dust pan can only talk the way I used it, it will scream in defiance with the way I hodl it in my hand. Not just that, I Also love to kick anything on my way and throw everything that's on my way when I'm mad or anything that I can vent my anger because I was force again to do the things I hate doing. Lazy, bad, no manner, yeah that is the REAL me.

It's bad I know but that's me when the thing I planned wasn't followed because of this one thing I have to do, I hate that. And my thinking is a bit different so that is just how I react. I still remember that one time, when Mom asked, no no it is not asking but she forced me to go with them and that is not included in my plan. Because of too much anger I smash my head repeatedly on the my durabox, lol.

Can anyone on their right mind do that? Lol. In the end I'm the only one who suffer after doing that. I experienced a severe headache and while traveling I am just eyes closes and listening to a music to also calm my nerves. I really hate it when I am forced to do things that is really against my will. I feel like killing if that happens, lol. And my mouth sometimes can't be stop from saying nasty things so I really hate when I experience that.

Anyways, as you know I'm trying to be active on Hive this time. And when I say active, not as active as I am here on read but will only spend time on it when I have time. But you know what, it is hard. I am really not good in multitasking and coz of that too that is why I am having this eye problem. I feel like I am straining my eyes too much that it is giving me this uncomfortable feelings. Like my eyes is having a hard time closing. Or even if I am sleepy eyes is like has glue on it.

I want to sleep but I can't put it to rest coz I feel like my mind and eyes is still super active. My mind is in rhythm that while it's thinking of a lot of things my eyes is still mulat na mulat like a kid that is hyper, lol. Do you know what I mean? Do you experience this too? That is why since yesterday I am giving my eyes a rest. But the problems is I am trying to take a short nap in the afternoon but that too, I can't do it.

Even this afternoon I didn't sleep so I just put aside my phone and listen to music while eyes closed. I am experiencing the same thing I experience before. This is what I get for using my phone nonstop. Although I had a little rest, my eyes is not like as before that can still be used for 8 hours straight lol. Aigooo. I actually stop watching anime for a while now. I only watch it if I am eating that I have to use my hands for eating. If before I allotted a little time for watching, for now I set aside that and so what Important first.

I stop doing that for Hive but, ngayon pa sumabay tong unexplainable feelings that I feel in mu eyes. I think I have to limit my usage again of my phone. Meaning to say, I can't be as active as I am as before, again. I have to sleep too again earlier than my usual sleep time. I sleep early everyday but I still use my phone in a darker places so maybe that is the reason why I am experiencing this too. It is actually my fault too for using my phone on the dark place. That is also one of the triggers I think.

Oh heaven, just last night I didn't have a good night sleep too as my eyes just wont close. My body wants to rest already but my eyes tsk. It just won't close really. My mind is still cool coz I am not thinking anything so it's really an eye problem. Arggg seriously.

I am just dumping all of my thought right now. It's kind of messy so sorry about that, teheee (●´⌓`●)

Lead Image from Unsplash

July 14, 2022

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