His Footstep, I should be?

Hi there Good morning !!!!!

Another day to write or create a article Sorry if grammaring is not good in composing an article well I'm open for any suggestion or recommendation.

Let me properly introduce myself properly..

Hi my name is Ram, but usually if you met me in reality you can call me yours.. HAHA kidding .. they call me Ching as my nickname outside of this world... I think im 25 already haha kinda slow in numbers HAHA now I have 1 kid just came 1yr old last april proud father regardless of the young age I don't mind. HAHA well moving forward I'm rom the philippines just a normal you see on the street if you are in the Phils. HAHA

The Eldest Child out of 10, Yeah you read it correctly . the same parents that made us. Being the eldest isn't easy I know life is not really easy to live with wither you are the eldest , mid or youngest everyone has a story to create and live with ... to continue on my part I really didn't care much if im the eldest coz im happy that i have sibling to play with but sometimes you just got pissed off of watching over them but i don't hate them.. watching over them comes with great expectation from your parents especially on my father's eyes I should be the role model of a good , responsible brother . But I did what i could to met my father expectation sadly to say . A single mistake could ruin the expectation of the person followed by the trust in you would be gone . The mistake that i will remember within me, that tarnished my father's reputation on the town.. Yes he is well know in the town and people around me expect that i would follow the path as my father .. I for myself even now to this day I find myself hard to follow the people expectation .. its not easy on my behalf that you tried your best to prove to someone that you can be what they expected to be.

Trus me.. I tried to show my father that he can be proud of me and trust me but time doesn't goes the way I wanted . Instead of showing him the good deeds that I have done, mistakes and failure is all i gave to him in return till the day he said' If I only knew you would be this of a failure I would have poisoned you when you are still a baby" hearing those hurt me badly,.. So bad that I cried it all night depress, sad, hurt, alone, those are the emotions i feel during those time,. before the sun rises I was not able to bear the pain and think of ending my life with.. Yes you read correctly I almost commited to do suicide.. I don't expect that he will care if Im gone.

As I remember I already hanged myself on the edge of closing my eyes.. but suddenly the door open I saw a glimpse of my 2nd sister the one i favored of the all since she is the fragile one us before everything is dark I can only hear her crying saying my name then everything when silent...by the next morning I woke up right next to my mother.. Yes I still have my mother but i know that she can't defend me at that time it was for me to learn to take life more seriously only if my mother could understand i tried again and again for him to acknowledge me as a son that he can be proud of to his friends meanwhile I heard my mother : saying sorry that she could not defend me..then as I see her clearer together with my 2nd sister I created another mistake that hurt them .. I was to selfish that I didn't notice there feeling...

That they still cared for me.. honestly I dont hate my father for being that way It might be that he was the same as me before on my grandparents.

Since that day I promised to continue my life as a given gift of my mother that I was born of this world to create my own story of how i wanted to still as of now Im still proving to my father that I can be someone with following his footstep in life...

That's all for now readers. thank you in having the time to read my life story

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