Reciprocity in Relationship.

Happy Sunday and a beautiful new week!!!

“We should give to others what we intend to get. What enters into a circle will complete a full cycle and return to its origin in kind.”

Hendrith Vanlon Smith Jr

I love this topic because it's something I have always loved and preached to people especially when I say respect is reciprocal, and for me hammering on the golden rule of law in the Bible that states that “do unto others as you would have them do to you.” It's as simple as that!

What does reciprocity mean? To say this in the simplest form, it is an act of exchanging things, be it gifts, love, kindness etc to someone or a group of people to get something in return. Reciprocity is derived from the Latin word, “reciprocus” which means alternating. This means interchanging regularly or performing things in turn.

Be it any relationship — friendship or romantic, reciprocity is very important. Both relationships should be reciprocal which means that when I say someone is my friend, or I love such a person, I should assume such a person thinks of me as a friend too or the person loves me back.

An important principle of reciprocity is, to be truthful, and open with your partner because you believe and trust that they have your best interest at heart and are not being selfish with it. The law of reciprocity states that in social situations, we pay back what we received from others. To create a healthy relationship, reciprocity should be solidified which would be beneficial to both parties.

They will communicate their needs, feelings and intent to one another and both of them would be in a win-win situation. That sounds perfect!

There are ways to show reciprocity. When someone is being kind to you, there is a need for you to show kindness to either the person or another but it shouldn't be like you are on your right wanting to be shown kindness by the same person especially when you insist they return the favour to you because you did it for them. No, it shouldn't be that way!

Now, let's take a look at some kinds of reciprocity which I would give in my examples to understand.

Generalized Reciprocity: This type of reciprocity is done when you do not expect anything in return but you know you'd get it in return from a different angle. Let's take someone who gives to the homeless as an example. Such a person gives willingly and would not expect anything from them but the joy in seeing the children happy and satisfied is a reward already to him or her.

This kind of reciprocity does not involve any instant repayment even though you will get in return somewhere else.

Balanced Reciprocity: One example of this in a social setting is gift-giving. This involves giving to someone and you expect it to be returned to you within a given or fixed time. According to social psychologists, it is referred to as the law of reciprocity. An example of this is when your partner gives you a gift on your birthday and such a partner expects you to give back on his or her birthday too.

Negative Reciprocity: This is done out of selfish interest or desire. This is when you get everything and it's either you return in a little way or you give nothing in return. An example is when a student helps his or her lecturer to carry out some tasks outside the academic setting because he wants the lecturer to leak out exam questions.

This is usually done by students in the University when they only help their lecturers or professors, they may even go out of their way to buy them drinks and food just because of their selfish interest in being given expos in the examination hall.

I have a friend who is a typical example of balanced reciprocity and the friendship is still as healthy today. When I show her love, she reciprocates even in a bigger way and this is something that should be practiced among everyone because this is in a way, expressing love and unity together.

In conclusion, reciprocity helps you to be more sensitive and less selfish because you will always understand people from their point of view instead of thinking about yourself only.

Thanks for your time.

Image by Amina Filkins from Pexels.

[November 13, 2022] (No 315 articles for the year)