Being committed or friends with benefits?

“There’s a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in doing something, you do it only when it’s convenient. When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results.”

- Kenneth Blanchard

Many of us mistaken interest with commitment but this quote has done justice to the meaning of both without taking them to mean the same thing. Being interested in a task is for the main time before your interest fades away but when you are committed to it, you don´t mind what happen next but the strong will of bringing you the best result is what you are after.

Commitment means when you are willing to give your time and energy to something that you believe in. When you are not committed to doing something, you cannot sacrifice yourself into it, you wouldn´t be interested in such thing when your mind is not there. Same thing with being in a relationship. When you do not commit to making your relationship work, it will lose its taste in it and you lose many things in it especially letting your partner slip off your hand.

When you are asked which you would prefer from a committed relationship or friends with benefits, which one would you choose? I need you to understand that both options are different. While the latter one does not last, the former do.

Friends with benefits means give and take. You don´t want any other thing than what both of you offers in a relationship. I wouldn´t call this a relationship because it is just as offering your bodies and nothing more. Both of you are friends even when you have an external partner, you just choose to engage in sexual activity and what have you between yourself depending on your agreement with each other.

When you are both friends with benefits, it doesn´t bring any commitment because all you would be thinking of is satisfying yourself in bed and waiting for another day to engage in such. You wouldn´t want such right? Inasmuch as we have people who engage in such all in the name of being friends with each other, I consider it as nonsense because when both have their partners outside, it can affect their external relationship and losing their self worth and value. Something meant for their partner alone is being shared just because you want to protect your friendship.

Commitment can be so scary to someone because it just simply requires your time, sacrifice and putting your mind in it. Fear is the central focus to some people when it comes to commitment. When they are into a relationship, they fear that the relationship might not last. They think of trust which could bridge the gap in it because when trust is breached, that is the end of the sweetness in a relationship. The truth is when you commit yourself into such relationship, it works. Things would look easier for you because you are looking forward to bring the best in it.

There is nothing as interesting as putting your commitment into a relationship because you would have the mindset of making it grow and leading to a more stronger one which is marriage. In fact, in marriage, it still works when commitment is involved. With commitment, there would be love and the sexual urge too will increase just as what I said in my article yesterday about a loveless or sexless marriage. The fact is that commitment makes it possible for love and sex to grow, but without it, it is just as useless as anything.

There cannot be any commitment in friends with benefits, this is why I would prefer being committed to a relationship. It is someone who is serious that would be committed into something like this and if you think it cannot work out and you just want to play along, then the second option would be right for you.

When you are committed in a relationship, it builds trust, openness and there is faithfulness too. There wouldn´t be room for infidelity which could lead to divorce because these are what you would not want to experience if you are committed into such relationship.

A man who only want sex from a lady and nothing more isn´t committed but want to just satisfy himself and whenever he needs it. he beckons on the lady and if the lady too isn´t wise enough, she will be used and dumped. This is why it is important to define your relationship just as our relationship expert @Olasquare said in one of his articles.

To know if you would be committing yourself into a relationship or being friends with benefits, it starts from defining your relationship. Sit down to talk and know what both of you wants before embarking on such journey. When you are convinced with the right one, then you can choose which one to opt in for. You will only be wasting your time when you are committing to a relationship where the other party is not ready for such contract but just for what will benefit him in regards to sexual activity. You will be at the losing side when he or she comes back to explain what he or she wants at the end of the day.

You will benefit a lot when you sacrifice your time and energy in your relationship and lose a lot when you are only friends with something to receive and collect in it.

Thanks for reading

Photo by Joanna Nix-Walkup

[February 10, 2022] (No 41 article for this year)