An abusive relationship.

“I am done looking for love where it doesn’t exist. I am done coughing up dust in attempts to drink from dry wells.”

Maggie Young

It's another Monday again and here we are, wanting to grind and do our best to meet up with our targets. I hope we gain the strength to do all these things. Yesterday was awesome and I had to take such a step since it's been a while since I went out for a treat. Last night, I was thinking of what to write for today and instead of preparing my post last night, I slept off after being tired of the whole thing.

I was browsing through Google when my eyes caught something which I believe isn't a new thing anymore but a constant reminder for everyone in a relationship.

We all want the best in a relationship with our partners, and finding the best person would surely be a blessing to us. Though there is no relationship without its ups and downs, but there are some situations one should immediately retreat and leave on time to avoid anything whatsoever.

I read of a wife who had an accident while running to meet up with her husband's girlfriend because she caught the man cheating on her. While driving, she had an accident and died on that spot.

I pity the woman but from another angle, one would ask “why didn't she wait to confront her husband when he returns home?” She is gone and that wouldn't make the man not marry another person or keep cheating. It's always painful when you see your partner cheating on you, but the best is to let it go and leave your life. If at all you want a divorce because you can't withstand such emotional trauma, you can just enjoy your life because you deserve the best.

If you die because of a man or woman, many men and women would step on your grave. This is a statement we do say to let those going through such moments know that life has no duplicate and you need to move on with your life. Yes, it isn't easy but you have no choice because you can't change anyone unless they decide to change.

As singles, there are signs to watch out for to know if you are in an abusive relationship. You don't have to stay in such a relationship but to leave and to protect your self-image rather than being blamed for everything in the end. There is a need for us to value and cherish who we are and if someone is taking us for granted, shouldn't we leave such a person and hope for someone who will adore us?

In my tribe, they will say that what you can't accept when you are rich, you start refusing it while you are poor. This means what you cannot accept and cope with now, just reject them immediately and don't say you will learn to cope in the future, it might be too late.

If you have a partner who keeps yelling at you for whatsoever reason instead of being calm to resolve the issue with you and he or she keeps saying nasty things to you, then you should know this is a big red flag to leave such a relationship. If you think he or she is going to change later, you are deceiving yourself because such a partner can ruin your emotional life. Reject such behaviour now before it's too late.

When he or she keeps screaming at you and losing their temper on you, then be watchful and know what to do immediately. When a partner is so aggressive to the extent that he doesn't even value your presence but with just a little issue, he or she has flared up, raising their voices on you, know that it will keep escalating to a big issue if you don't act fast by leaving such relationship.

Do you have a partner with unpredictable behaviour? They tend to exhibit different kinds of rude and bad behaviour anytime and many times, you can't even predict the next step they would take on you, this is very dangerous and could harm you later if there is no change. Such unpredictable behaviour could cause you stress because you might just return from work and he or she brings up a new behaviour you never expected, then this is a sign of an abusive relationship.

When your partner earns more than you and with that, they start to control you using their money as a weapon. “If you don't do this, I won't give you what you requested and the likes”. They would start dominating and taking advantage of the position and if you are still with them, you can never enjoy such a relationship because it would be like all your life and spendings are dependent on them. After all, they earn more than you.

When your partner is always threatening to leave you because of one thing or the other, that's so bad and it's a controllable behaviour from them. If you do not do their bidding, they threaten to leave the relationship and because you are so in love and attached to them, you have turned into their victim and they can swing you anywhere they want.

Finally, when your partner hits you, then there is nothing to preach about there. You don't have to stay just because they apologized but they still keep doing that, you aren't blind to know that is a big sign of an abusive relationship. They find pleasure in hitting you even in public and are always making jest of you in the presence of others.

I used to say that if a man tries or attempts to raise his hand on me and says it's a mistake, I will leave because if I don't do anything now and think he won't do that when we are married, I am only deceiving myself. So, it's better to stop it now so it won't be too late for me.

Thanks for your time

Images by Timur and Karolina from Pexels

[September 26, 2022] (No 268 articles for the year)