My article today would be based on a movie I watched two nights ago. In fact I was so angry that I wanted to slap the lady but I remembered I was watching a movie on my phone unless I want to smash my phone to the ground 😄 it really pained me and I couldn't do anything.
Let me ask some relationship experts here. People that I know that loves talking about relationships like @Olasquare I want to ask these questions before moving on.
"Should a woman continue in a relationship where the husband is a sadist?"
"Should a woman still stay in a violent relationship with a sadist as her husband expecting some changes in him"?
To answer my questions, let me narrate what happened....
This lady had been married to her husband for four years, working as a banker which was her career, and because she do come home late due to the nature of her Job. The husband couldn't cope with such attitude and told her to resign from her Job which she humbly obeyed her husband. All of a sudden, the husband changed, sacked the househelp and security man with an irrelevant excuse to the wife.
She made his wife slave by opening the gate, taking care of the house, cook, just to satisfy her husband. She became unkempt as her husband wasn't given her space to breathe or take care of herself. She became a punching bag to the man who will maltreat her and inflict injury on her everyday. The man called her barren even when he knew nothing was wrong with his wife after passing through series of tests which gave hope that she was okay. The man refused to go for tests to see if he was the one having problem of infertility. Why then blaming the wife?
She has gone to the hospital twice because of this ill treatment from her husband.
Her friend saw all that happened to her and advised to file a divorce or report the issue to her only sister left to her as a relative. She would always say something "I still love my husband. I know he will change"
The husband was of the belief that he acquired and not married her due to the brideprice he paid and because of that, he kept inflicting pain and injury on her.
Along the line, she met a guy who deserved her. One who is ready to respect her and not be like a beast to her.
Sometimes, we might assume that people do not really studied each other during courtship which causes divorce in marriages but I looked at it in another perspective that "what if they were hiding their true characters and only exhibit their true color in marriage?" We aren't seer to see ourselves and to know if we are actually pretending or not.
The wife was surprised at the sudden change in her husband. He wasn't like this when they were dating and she was sure he was the right person for her. Why then such sadist attitude in him? What could cause him to become like that?
While watching the movie, I was assuming if it were to be me which I pray it won't. Let's just assume things right now.
If I were to be the wife, what do you think I should do?
Stay in such relationship even when I know it's not leading anywhere? I would stand on the hope that he will change, he will change. How soon will the change be? Is it until he kills me will my eyes be opened?
These questions already have an answer from me because I would definitely leave such marriage when I discovered he is a sadist. He derives joy in hurting me while I the victim, is suffering.
Relationship can be in two sided ways because if we are on the stand that "study each other before getting married", would you want to know if he or she is pretending or concealing those characters till marriage?
At the end of the movie, the husband was arrested for violence and attack on his wife. She started a new life with the guy she met who treated her well.
To me, if I have been patient for long and I could see no changes coming from him and I am still being inflicted with pain, I would file for a divorce because I don't want a guy to beat the hell out of me and make me regret ever staying.
I think, all these boils down to praying and talking to God for the right partner.
Back to my questions, I need replies from you guys. Thank you in advance.