Independence of your Toddler? Are You Ready to Handle?

An attribute of early signs of “independence” that I still find amusing yet a bit anxious as a first-time mom is a thought that my baby at 27 months old can do things he wanted without asking for my help. Although I have taught him to be independent however at times I feel that I wanted him to ask for my assistance, letting him know that mommy is still around.

*Be-Worry Free when your baby is showing independence! this is a sign of growth!

Think of it as his learning curve to explore the world at an early stage. Independence has nothing to be scared about but to prepare for a wider horizon.

One time as he had his sets of Lego’s at home, he’d shown me the “cubic” he made out of it, so proud of his accomplishments, eventually said with pride, "Sage did this!" pointed at himself, all the while I thought it was Hailey who put the lego together.

Every time he did something that he felt accomplished, he would grab my wrist, eventually guide me to where he wanted to show me something by saying, "

"mommy come! come mommy! Sage did..!'

he won't stop unless I have to leave everything behind and would come over, surprised at what he had done with those Legos and many other things he managed to do by himself.

I have to reinforce by saying,

"oh wow! good job on this lego cubic baby. So what colour is this?"

and I started pointing out the different colours that he put together to see whether he could identify them as he would have an assessment in a month regarding colours.

• Are Early Assessments Required for Toddler's Growth?

At first, I was always hesitant to put my baby into this ordeal of "assessment" at an early age because I feel that each baby has his/her growth milestone. I mean I don't want to force my baby to learn "colours" and set aside time for his study hour because at 27 months old I can see his retention is so short and he doesn't like repetitive lessons eventually he remembered them by heart which amazed me that it has retained in his memory.

I wanted him to grasp things based on his WILL and INTEREST not because I have told him to do so indirectly obliging him to learn since he's been told to identify for his upcoming assessment. This is their system here to figure out at an early stage regarding the development of the babies whether it is by their milestones especially when it comes to identification of objects, height, weight, speech, and many other vital signs of development. We have an appointment set every 6 months now unlike the monthly from his first years and everything was recorded to track down his growth, as per future reference as to what it would be for, still unsure off.

As a mom, of course, I wanted my baby to learn things however I don't want Sage to miss his babyhood/childhood just so because he has to be assessed primarily. His growth and learning must be from his "free will" because it would be easier to study or acquired those skills if it's an intrinsic motivation on the outset!

Anyhow he could identify primary colours like blue, gray, red, yellow, green, brown, white, orange, black, pink, (still, a bit confused with purple, violet) and he's very transparent when he doesn't know or when he is not sure of his answer.

He would momentarily just open his mouth wide and it's time to reinforce his confusion. Here's our FB live moment with colours and messing up with the colouring book and you could figure out easily he's not that sure of "purple" as said it's pink! hence I had to correct him.

• Age Alone Does not Qualify acquired Knowledge and Intelligence

I heard this many times that we can not refute the knowledge acquired by someone older than us. It has a greater impact in our adult years but how are we going to reconcile it among toddlers?

*Hailey is Sage's playmate at home and I considered her my baby girl. She is a year older and there are things I observed that Sage Alexander at 27 months old could do that Hailey can't. Of course we have to put into consideration that they are different and the way they were brought up was totally different, speech and language per se were considerable factors in their engagements.

This is an indication that age technically is not a justification that you know better than the other. I mean age does not qualify wisdom though I am aware that babies have different developmental milestones depending on their upbringing.

For example, Sage initiated the "sand time" wherein he covered his left hand with it so Hailey simply followed what he did. I went around to check what they were doing and my baby said, "retirer mommy!" Lol that was new to me and I asked my baby what it meant, eventually he said, "remove!"

Of course I don't believe him at once thinking that he just murmured some words out of the blue, I asked his dad what on earth is "retirer" (pronounced as re-che-re).

My big question was that, how on earth did Sage manage to translate the correct term for "retirer"(French) to "remove" (English?) as I haven't taught the word? are babies' brained wired to where they were born? I mean language per se?

Another instance at home was the simple cubic out of lego wherein my baby excitedly had shown me and asked him who did it. To reinforce their learning, I asked the different colours. Sage excitedly answered while Hailey just followed after him. I told my baby to keep quiet and let Hailey answered on her own. Jesus I don't want my baby to be mean but he said,

"no Hailey, not green! white..."

I hugged them both. Hailey learned differently from Sage and her intelligence is incomparable as she's more prim while my baby's hyper attitude could lead to impatience at times. This is not to compare their growth but the way I have realized and observed things, each has his or her milestones depending on how parental guidance is exercised for their full potential. Although I am amused that my baby can correct someone whom he thought is not saying the "right" thing, still Sage has a long way to go in terms of learning.

Likewise, the same incident as how it went at the Childminding when they were playing football and one kid took the ball with him, running around with it.

Sage ran after and told him to put the ball down because they were playing football. Not giving emphasis somehow that it was meant to be kicked because it's football game.

When I learned about it as we took him that day, I just told them to be patient with him, yet they were smiling because he's advanced for his age, talkative and he preferred to work things based on his terms, jeez!

• What's the Rationale?

**Sharing how our bedtime routine could take an hour before Sage would dozed off and timestamp at :29 got me crackin the most as we had this "Johnny, Johnny, yes Papa" epic song!

PARENTING is a vocation, a gift, a way of life. The young generation of today has something to do with how they were being GUIDED at HOME and the way they were brought up will bring an impact on their adult life in later years. The reality of basic parenting nowadays has been neglected. I have seen in my eyes how kids here in Seychelles were abandoned because their parents DO NOT KNOW their responsibilities.

They just made babies and forgotten how to take care of them. It BREAKS my HEART big time! That's why it took me 35 years before I conceived a child and I was so scared I might not be able to fulfill spontaneously. Having a child is not like, "let us cross the bridge when we get there" but it's like a plant or a flower that will only bloom once you watered it. The way we would raise our kids and taught them the proper way especially when they are showing off "INDEPENDENCE" early reflects how we are as a mom or dad or as a parent in general perspective.

Remember that family is the basic unit in the society hence everything starts from home and how parents have guided their offspring in becoming more responsible in their obligations.

Questions:

1. How do you think being a parent plays a pivotal role in the society?

2. In what way we can say that parental guidance has been neglected nowadays?

3. If we are held responsible for our children's growth, then why are some parents failed to fulfill such duty?

4. What are your views about child labour?

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