In Memory of Nanay Thelma

September 15, 2010, at exactly 3 am in the morning, I received a call from my husband.

Ne, nanay is gone, she's gone...

After hearing that, I was speechless then I sob silently. My daughter was beside me and I am not ready to tell her yet. She's a Lola's girl and I knew that she'll be hurt.

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Nanay Thelma is my mother in-law whom I feared most. Before we even had a relationship with my husband, his friends has warned me that husband's mother is a terror one so I should be ready if I really want to be with their friend. But if you really loved someone, you have to love their love ones too, right?

So to make the story short, she's really a terror but because I love her son, all I did was to endure everything and besides she's good to my daughter. She loved her very dearly.

It was May 2010 when she keeps complaining that she's having difficulty in breathing. So I told her that I would take her to the hospital to know what causes it because she doesn't have cough or cold. She refuses at first but later on she said yes.

I took her to the Capiz Emmanuel Hospital. After the doctor thoroughly checked her, she told us that Nanay should be admitted because her lungs is full of water. Both of her lungs is. She refused to be admitted and told the doctor that she just needs a medicine that could cure her. But the doctor said if she wants to be cured, she has to be admitted. So I called my husband immediately and told him that nanay needs to be admitted but she refused and even yelled at the doctor.

When my husband arrived, he persuaded Nanay, so she said yes. She was put in an isolation room because the doctor said, she might get infected with the other patient, maselan daw kasi yun sakit nya. She had gone fasting for 12 hours to check her sugar level, blood and the likes.

The next morning, the doctor told us that she had to remove the water in Nanay's lungs by using large syringe. The procedure was, she injected the large syringe at Nanay's back and take out the water. (Noon lang ako nakakita ng ganoon kalaking syringe, tapos tinutusok tusok sa likod ng byenan ko. Although may anaesthesia naman, nakakangilo pa din panoorin. Parang feeling ko tinutusok din yun likod ko.)

The procedure lasted for almost an hour, I think. And she have collected 2 bottles of blood in Nanay's lungs, the bottle was of the dextrose bottle and the color of the water is red. The doctor talked to me after they put back Nanay in her room. She told me the shocking news. She said that Nanay might have cancer because of the color of the water in her lungs. Although need pa ipa biopsy, but most likely daw eh cancer ang sakit nya. Kapag daw kasi yellow ang tubig na nakuha sa lungs, TB daw ang sakit pero kapag red or bloody color, cancer daw ang sakit.

Sorry, in this part, taglish na masakit na brain cells ko kakaenglish.

So after hearing that, I immediately called my husband and her Aunt. Pagdating nila sa ospital, I told them everything, that nanay might have cancer as what the doctor said. Then Aunt Elena told us that maybe Nanay inherited their mother's sickness. Kasi their mother died of lung cancer too. Then she started crying. Pero di nya pinapakita kay Nanay, nasa labas kami ng room nag uusap.

Then the next morning, nagrereklamo na naman si Nanay n di sya makahinga kaya nilagyan sya ng oxygen. Then when doctor checked her, may tubig na naman yun lungs nya. Kaya pina xray sya ulit and dun nga nakita na meron ulit tubig.

After that, kinausap ulit kami ng doctor na kailangan tubuhan si Nanay sa tagiliran nya. Bubutasan yun tagiliran nya and dun iinsert ang tubo para dun lalabas yun tubig sa lungs nya. Halos isang bote ng dextrose yun lumalabas s lungs ni Nanay every 3 hours, ganun kadami yun tubig sa lungs nya na pabalik balik.

Then one time, siguro naburyong si Nanay sa tubo na nakakabit sa kanya. Gusto nya alisin at nagwawala sya. Tapos sinasabi nya na bakit daw sya nagkaroon ng sakit na ganun eh wala naman syang bisyo, healthy din kinakain nya. Bakit di na lang daw yun mga kriminal sa labas. Nagwala sya talaga as in, kaya need sya turukan ng pampatulog. Naiyak ako habang nagwawala sya Inguess sa takot at nerbiyos na din. Kaya tinawagan ko muna si husband at sya pinagbantay ko muna. Kasi 3 days na din ako nagbabantay sa kanya. Kaya nagleave muna si husband sa work ng isang Linggo para magsalit salit kami s pagbantay.

After 5 days, saka dumating yung result ng biopsy and it was confirmed, Nanay has cancer, stage 4 cancer. And she has only 3 months to live. We were all shocked, actually kulang yun shocked na word para idescribe yung naramdaman namin that time. We all knew that cancer is a deadly one, then stage 4 means uncurable na. Napahagulgol kami ng Auntie ko, pero si husband eh tahimik lang, not a single tear na makikita sa mata nya, pero ramdam ko yung bigat na nararamdaman nya.

After that day, halos araw-araw tumatawag yun mga kapatid ni Nanay na nasa ibang lugar. And every time, Nanay would cry her heart out.

To, hindi na yata ako makakasurvive sa sakit na to. Mamamatay na yata ako.

Umiiyak sya habang sinasabi nya yun at pati ako eh umiiyak na din. Parang may humihiwa sa puso ko eh. Pero despite everything lage ko pa din sinasabi sa kanya na, " Nay, makakasurvive ka pa. Huwag ka susuko. "

Then dumating yung dalawang kapatid ni husband na naninirahan sa Manila. Pinag-usapan nila ang dapat gawin. Doctors told us that their are 2 options, the first one was operahan si Nanay, alisin yung mga cancer cells sa lungs nya. Pero di nya nirerecommend yun kasi unang-una daw eh magsuffer lang ang Nanay pati na din kami dahil malaki ang gagastusin. The second option was, sa bahay na lang si Nanay and may nakainsert na lang na tubo sa tagiliran nya.

But my husband and his brothers decided na paoperahan si Nanay, hoping na gagaling pa sya. Di pa din sila nawalan ng pag-asa despite the fact na may taning na si Nanay. So they arranged everything, dinala ni husband si Nanay sa Iloilo par sa operation nya, pero yun dalawa nyang kaatid eh bumalik na ng Manila.

After ng operation eh biglang nacoma si Nanay kaya nilagay sya sa ICU. at that time sobrang laki na ng ginastos namin. Almost 500k na. So we decided na ilipat na lang si Nanay sa hospital dito sa Manila. Pero nahirapan kami maghanap ng ospital na private noon na available ang ICU, and ang Roxas Memorial lang ang meron. So wala kami ibang choice kundi doon na lang.

Noong dumating si Nanay at husband from Iloilo, nashock ako sa nakita ko. Kasi may malaking tubo sa bibig nya, doon pinapadaan yun pagkain nya. Liquid form daat lahat ng food nya. After 4 days sa ICU, nilagy na si Nanay sa private room. That was September 14, 2010. That was the only time na oinakita namin sa anak ko si Nanay nya. Grabe yung iyak nya. Bakit daw ganun nangyare sa nanay nya.

Nakakadurog ng puso na makita sya sa ganoong sitwasyon. Malakas kasi si Nanay, kaya nga sya tinawag na terror kasi palaban talaga sya at walang inuurungan.

At that night, bago kami umuwe ng anak ko, binulungan ko si Nanay,

Nay, kung di mo na kaya, bitaw na Nay. Masaya ako na kahit papaano eh napaglingkuran kita sa maikling panahon.

I saw a tears drop from her eyes. And nakita din ni husband kaya nag-iyakan kami sa loob ng room. Pati anak ko eh niyakap din ang Nanay nya habang umiiyak.

And exactly 3 am, on September 15, 2010, our Nanay Thelma died.

Sorry guys if this article is a bit long and in taglish. I just want to express how I really feel at that time. And the best way to do that is by using taglish language.

Today is Nanay's death anniversary. We will visit her later and offer a prayer on her tomb. We know that Nanay is in God's hand now and she no longer feel pain. Although she died at a young age of 57, she had lived a meaningful life.

Date Published: September 15, 2021