Our mind is like a gateway for all the things we allow into our space. Our mind is so powerful because whatever we feel, consciously or unconsciously, we allow it into our subconscious and we begin to act it out. Most of the time we act without knowing, most of the things we have been exposed to and allowed into our space. We see ourselves acting it out and begin to wonder how we got to that point.
We need to be deliberate about the way we think and see things because, in the long run, it would have that impact on us whether we want it or not. Life experiences made us into who we are by the virtue of exposure.
Exposure never ceases because if it is not by the things we have gone through then it can be by the testimonies of what others have gone through; either through words or observation. In fact, reading is another form of exposure and the media outlets are there too. We are being bombarded with events and things that can demoralize us. We don't always have control over the things happening around us but we can control the things happening within us with conscious effort.
We need to be intentional about the things we allow into our space. We must guard our minds because they influence how we turn out. This is why I detached from reading anything political. I've been used to seeing politicians loot money and go into an office for that purpose. The turning point for me was when someone asked me what I would do if I become the president of my country and the only answer I gave was, "I am made for life".
It's shameful because that's not what service should be all about but I have been influenced indirectly without direct teaching but by observation. I didn't want to be defined by the actions or inactions of others. I decided to be intentional about the things I allow into my space.
The moment we allow that bit of fear creeps in, we have been limited. If you allow confusion to set in then you can't see with clarity. All these tiny bits don't look like much of an influence but they are. They are the tiny bits that control the whole. They look inconsequential but they can make or mar us. It takes an uphill task not to go downhill - the rabbit hole.
What other life do you have other than this? Guard it. What other choice do you have than to make yourself happy? Be committed to it. In this life, a lot of decisions have been taken away from us and rather than try to force control it is better we accept the things we can't change while focusing our energy on the things we can change. I can't control how our government choose to act even if I protest from now till the end of their tenure but I can control how I see things and how I allow their actions get to me. I have that much power in my space.
Shut the door against negativity of any kind. Don't allow yourself to hate anyone. Don't give room to fear either. Don't inherit the enemies of others. You are also not doing God a favour when you are judging others. Their shortfalls won't still make you more perfect if you already are. A lot of people have gotten themselves into trouble all because they allowed some negativity into their space.
You failed, so what? Whatever you did, that's who you are, no doubt but it's not who you will always be. She turned you down, so what? He told you that you are not up to his standards and so? You need to stop beating yourself up when others are kicking you.
I am not asking you not to hurt or feel pain, by all means, do but don't let those negative situations create a failing mindset in you. If you don't let those things in, too deep then you can get through it. The attention we give to a particular situation makes it more than what it is. The situation is not that bad but how we react to it makes it even worse.
You can go through that pain, that loneliness, those hard times and even that rejection. You can rise above that strife, those haters, that demotion, confusion, heartbreak, backbiting, unemployment, shame, being broke, gang up and so on... because they don't determine who you will be unless you allow it. Learn how to go through it and not allow it to go through you. You will definitely be fine. It's a process...
The story of the donkey that got stuck in a hole always plays in my head. The owner tried everything to bring it out but no hope. He thought to himself that rather than just leave it there, he should just heap sand on it and bury it there. With every heap of sand thrown at it, the donkey would shake it off and then step on it. The more sand the owner throws, the more shaking the donkey did till it came within reach of being rescued by the owner.
Whatever negativity comes your way, it's not easy but learn to analyze, be objective, shake it off and use it as a step towards being better. Shut that door to negativity. You have a lot more to accomplish so you shouldn't go down without a fight.
Thank you for your time.
That is why meditation and staying healthy is important, it helps us to think better and make good decisions. Reading helps us to open new doors that we had closed and to balance our thoughts. The best way to face our fears is to try without looking back. I really enjoyed your post, to complete ourselves, we must first learn to accept and love ourselves.