Good Night, Mama.

Yesterday wasn't an easy day for me and everyone involved. It started as a normal day but it ended with a heavy heart. Things like this bring a lot into perspective and you just want to sit back and review your life, really. I see death as a reality check. Someone once said he wasn't scared to die, he just doesn't want to be there when it happens - those who are into out of body obsession would understand his lines.

We went to Church and had a lovely service yesterday and while preparing to go back home, my wife received a call from her sister telling her that her mother (my mother in law) was involved in a ghastly accident as she was heading back to Lagos.

The thing is, she travelled on Friday to a faraway place for a wedding. She had been sick for a week now but because the person in question was her good friend, who was also present last month for her own child's wedding, she decided to repay the kind act, despite the distance and still just recovering. I spoke with her on Friday when she was almost there and even heard her voice when my wife called her after the wedding on Saturday, around 9 pm.

According to those who went there with her, their car had an accident while they were almost back home in Lagos and still they couldn't even explain how. There was another person with a broken arm but I guess my mother in law must have died due to shock because there was no visible injury on her body. It was really painful and I am still struggling to terms with it - maybe I am still in denial as to what happened.

After we received the call about her accident after service, no one told us she was dead yet. We felt maybe she was being treated and that's what those we spoke to said, even the Policeman that was with her phone that we called. He said they rushed her to the emergency unit not knowing they just want us to be in the right frame of mind before embarking on the journey to the hospital where she was. She was gone already, just waiting for us to show up to claim her.

She was an amazing mother anyone could wish for. She would naturally go out of her way just to help others. I have never come across someone as selfless as she was - same with my dad too when he was alive.

Everyone is in shock and still in denial. She was very active and rarely fall sick until earlier this month. It came as a rude shock to us all and I keep hearing her voice in my head. Her husband is visibly distraught and he had to be attended to by a nurse because his health is also frail but we are trusting God to keep him safe and console him at a time like this.

The burial would be later this week and I know emotions would come crashing down and I need to be strong to show support and help out any way that I can. This was unexpected and I wouldn't have imagined such a tragic ending for her. It hurts... it's very painful and she is the best mother in law you can ever ask for. She loved me like her own and this is very tough to come to terms with.

I wrote this short poem for her and I had to tweak this old poem of mine since the situation has changed now that she is no more. No words can adequately describe what a gem she is.

You lived a life of sacrifice for everyone around you

I didn't know how you managed to strike the balance

Fulfilling your responsibility while also making others happy

Your heart was so wide like the ocean

Your depth of kindness ran deeper than the deep

To your wellspring of goodness, everyone came to sip

Smart, good looking, kindhearted, tireless and loved by all

You left your footprint on the sand of time

Those imprints cannot be washed away from our hearts

Mother's Day cannot be the same without you

I know you are in your resting place above

Your life was a bundle of goodness with lessons learnt

You impacted us a lot while you were alive

And even after your demise, your voice resounds in our hearts

Your love and sacrifices would never be forgotten

You are gone but not forgotten, as they say, mama

I have so many ifs... I wish she didn't embark on that journey and I wish her wickedness earlier held her back from going for that wedding. The thing is, she is super strong and active, so it's hard to know whether she was strong enough for such a journey even though her husband did his best to prevent her from going. I wish he succeeded in holding her back and we wouldn't have to be grieving right now. I really wish daddy strength because this is tougher on him.

I wish mummy accepted that the sickness she had was God's way of preventing her from embarking on that journey. I wish this would be one big dream that I can snap out of. I know she is in a better place and singing with the angels but she will be missed here on earth even though her work is done. God kept her to finish marrying all her children before calling her home.

I am pained but not without faith. Adieu, sweet mother. I love you... We love you...

Thank you for your time.