Family Drama - What's Your Take On This?

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2 years ago

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Debby and Dera never got along, in fact, they hardly see eye to eye and it had been like that ever since they were growing up. Debby is the younger sister and she is on the chubby side while Dera is the eldest but with the hourglass kind of shape. Dera had always been blessed with that figure ever since they were younger and Debby had always been on the big side too since then. Dera even thought Debby is jealous of her shape which was why they always fight.

Dera, being the eldest, used to be very calm but as she grew older, despite being blessed with an amazing body as most people would call it, she grew to be tough and aggressive too. This is why she is always on the edge and she would pick on things Debby does even if they are things she can overlook. Their mother always dreads having them together in the same space because there would always be a fight that would burst out and their family enjoys family functions which they are never short of - it means they always come around and they always fight, every time.

Despite the two of them being married, it didn't tone down their aggression and fights but their husbands get along with each other so well and they know when not to meddle into their affairs when they both fight because they would both turn it over them and then they would take it back to their respective homes. The last time Dera's husband tried to meddle, she got back home with him and they didn't speak for a week.

All efforts to settle the fights between both has proved abortive over the years and even their baby brother, Shola, despite his young years, tried but nothing came out but despite their madness, they never turned anything over the head of Shola. They all loved him.

The mother was dying and she felt the need to call them all together to tell them but she was a bit reluctant because she knew the focus would be taken away from her illness to the fight that would come up but she had no choice. She wanted her family together to discuss it and then bond with them. She hoped her potential death might reunite the sisters.

She told everyone to come, even extended family members, even her late husband's family members to come and it was a full house. Even before the mother could say anything, the sight of seeing Debby already annoyed Dera and vice versa and their grandma saw how uncomfortable they were with each other as they shared those angry stares. She made the mistake of asking both of them to speak so they can thrash out their grievances before their mother speaks and that was when the whole place scattered.

They both traded aggressive words at each other and Dera should have known never to talk about Debby's kids. Dera insulted her for being a failure as a mother because of how unruly his two boys are. Debby doesn't joke with her kids no matter how unruly they can be because she would never allow even her husband to talk to them anyhow without raising a fight. Debby lost it and unleashed the bombshell that left everyone stunned. The secret no one else knew except their grandmother, late father, herself and Dera. Dera's husband wasn't even aware of this secret.

Debby revealed how Dera had a baby when she was still in secondary school and even called her loose but the real truth was, Dera was going to search for Debby on the orders of her mother. Debby took longer to come back from an errand and it was late. Dera didn't want to go but was forced to go and look for her sister that night. As she was going on her search, she was raped by a guy on a dark path and while she was being raped the sister was already back home.

Eventually, they noticed she was pregnant because she didn't inform them early about it. The mother told her she would never allow her to abort the baby even though she said she wanted to. She gave birth to the baby after losing close to 2 years of her education which made her sister catch up with her in school. The mother took care of the baby which is now Shola. Debby didn't even know it was her that Dera went looking for that she met that ugly experience that day but she resented her sister because she felt she was loose and her mother had to take care of Dera's baby while not giving too much attention to her as she used to. Dera didn't really forgive her mother for making her have the baby despite taking care of her baby for her.

The mother had to be rushed to the hospital when Debby unleashed this and Dera explained what led to her being raped that day. Debby felt a bit guilty but the mother, knowing how tough Dera could be, knew there was no way both sisters could mend any broken fences again now that everywhere was tense. She passed out and had to be rushed to the clinic.

Shola couldn't utter a word, Dera's husband also stood there, staring at his wife not knowing who he married before rushing to attend to his mother in law. Dera left before the mother passed out. The mother didn't make it upon getting to the hospital and the rest of the family still don't know what to do with themselves after this revelation.

What would you advise them to do?

Thank you for your time.

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2 years ago

Comments

Debby stooped low mehn, dera shouldn't have kept that huge secret but it wasn't in Debby's place to unveil.

I would advise dera to cut off debby and try to fix her marriage simple.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Debby really stooped so low. She should have known the kind of sister she has instead of assuming she was wayward. She has put Dera's family at risk because it is a lot to take for that husband who might feel blindsided but he should try and understand because it wasn't a pretty experience for her either.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I could've commented that sibling conflicts only lasts until highschool and it would eventually be fixed later on. But Debby and Dera's case is even more complicated. Their parents must not have keep it a secret to Debby. Maybe then they could have save the sisters relationship.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Debby knew from the start and that was why she resented her sister for being loose not knowing she was raped while searching for her.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Wow! This is a complicated issue that needs the wisdom of an elder to solve πŸ˜…

I guess Dera should have opened up to them when she was raped. Perhaps this wouldn't result to both sisters fighting everyday and calling one names.

How did the grandmother and late father knew about it and couldn't let the mother know what happened to her?

Perhaps I might blame Dera too for not opening up to her husband so that the case wouldn't get to this stage at all.

Now, I think the grandmother and Debby should go and see Dera's husband and talk to him because this thing we are talking about can lead to the husband rejecting her. Then Debby and Dera should reunite together and be the best siblings ever.

$ 0.05
2 years ago

Of course the mother knew. She was the one who took care of Shola. Yes, they need to meet with the husband first... Once they have sorted out the husband then they can seek for ways to reunite the siblings.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Wow, it is a roller coaster of emotions.. lots of twists in the end! This is a classic case of failure in communication among family members, which caused a great war between them, especially the sisters.

Maybe if Dera has spoken out the truth, Debby would understand, and they can build a sturdy relationship overtime. It's hard to accept that Dera had to experience being raped. This caused her to be so resentful towards Debby.

Now that everything has unraveled and beyond control, we cab't go back to the regrets and results of actions in the past.

If I may suggest, they must seek help of a counselor, a psychologist, if they may even need one, because lots of emotional damage has built up already. They need a mediator to make them understand each other, and meet halfway. Or maybe they can live away from each other for a while, and let time heal the deep wound.

$ 0.05
2 years ago

Thank you so much for this amazing input. Yes, the damage has been done and emotions are up in it. They surely need a mediator to hear them else they would be picking up on each other's words and I would also recommend staying apart for a while as well. The husband is another issue hahaha. I really hope he would handle it well as well

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hahaha, I am thinking let both the hussbands be together to comfort each other for now. πŸ˜‚

$ 0.02
2 years ago

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ that would be perfect.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

What a tough situation they had, if only the elder talks at first it willl settle before the mom died.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

I believe so too... If only they would be intentional about it and force them to talk before now.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

This is a complex matter. I really don't know what to say at all

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hahahaha I can imagine.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hmm, The Matter is complicated, this is what they call problem...lol Everything is all about love, had it been the two sisters are in good terms , all those things couldn't have have, but because of the hatred they have for each other, that's why Debby have to unleash the secret in front of everyone , imagine the stink of hatred!

Now the secret has been revealed, what will do they gain? Nothing but doom, if care is not taken , they might experience marital instability, which will have effects in their children and society as well.

Well if where to be in that shoe, I think that's the moments to make peace with each other to avoid more problem, they might end up killing themselves in the long run if it continues.

But will Dera husband to it easy with her? Absolutely no, but the best thing is to accept her with her past, everyone has a past , then move on with life, after all it wasn't intentional, anyone can be a victim of rape, but don't pray to be victimized.

$ 0.05
2 years ago

Thank you so much for this. Yes, something needs to be done to fix the two sisters and the husband would be hurt because she kept that secret from her for many years and even Debby didn't even tell her own husband despite her resentment for her sister. They would need a lot more help... Maybe a psychologist.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I believed in family meetings, every family have their secrets and sitting to talk it out no matter what, is the key to getting rid of sentiment

$ 0.01
2 years ago

That's right... Families fight but this particular family...so many emotions buried beneath.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Every family has "skeletons in the closet." Family is our everything! They are the people who love you, support you, and are always there for you. But it's not always a good time in family life. Every family has its secrets, its caprices, its quarrels and quarrels.It is necessary to live in this family for some time to understand the peculiarities of the relationship between its members. And you'll be in someone else's family, and they'll make you feel guilty about meddling in our affairs.

$ 0.05
2 years ago

That's about right...every family with their secrets...

$ 0.00
2 years ago

This is a complicated scenario already. Hahah. Imagine the conflict going one between sibling and can’t be settled till their old age.

The secret that was leaked would surely have a great effect on Dera life. But I think spitting out the true thing should pave a way towards unity among them.

The mother is dead. All that’s is left is for the old woman to call them together with their husband and speak to them as an elder. I think it should get settled that way

$ 0.05
2 years ago

Absolutely... It's painful for the grandma to still be alive while watching their mother die... I hope she can unite them together because the issue had lingered for too long.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

If she can’t unite them them. And grandma could leave that way.then they would have to become oil and water that can never come together again. Only God can help them out.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Hahahaha only God can help them out o. They surely need help because of the hatred they've built for each other over time.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I would admit it is a crazy situation; I won't even know what to do. Maybe if the family all sat down and talked about it, they could fix it.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

With their mother being dead, it makes it a bit harder but I believe they can at least try.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Family matters, no matter the flaws and the hurt they are giving us, it is our foundation. We become more of a person because of our family.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

What's your take regarding what they need to do?

$ 0.00
2 years ago