Culture - A Curse or Blessing?

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This is a story about Daniel - a loving young man who was married to Amanda. Daniel and Amanda got married at a very young age. Daniel had an elder brother and in his hometown, the first child has to have at least a child before the younger ones. Daniel's elder brother, Deron was married but was unable to have a child. Amanda got pregnant for Daniel 4 times but had to abort it because of the taboo in his hometown. Daniel's mother always rings it in their ears never to have a child before Deron. Finally, Deron's wife conceived and gave birth to a boy.

Now, Amanda was trying to conceive but it wasn't working out. She went to the hospital to know what was wrong and she found out that her womb had an issue from the last abortion she had and the chances of conceiving are minimal. She broke down and cried with the fear that Daniel was going to marry another wife. He assured her that he loved her so much and will never do that to her, after all, he was the one who initiated the abortion despite her appeal for them to travel outside the country where they can raise their children in secrecy.

Years passed and they lived happily together. One faithful day, Amanda got a call from her friend who was congratulating her, thinking she had conceived. Her friend told her she saw Daniel in a boutique buying children wears and toys. Amanda was surprised and didn't even know what to do. She dismissed her friend and thought about what to do. She kept a close eye on her husband and monitored his movements. One day, he told her he was going to a business meeting in Abuja and will be there for one week. She told him okay and bid him farewell.

When he left the house, she followed him and found out he went to another woman. She saw a pregnant woman and two kids come out of the house and hugged him, she was shocked. She went back home worried, not knowing what to do. There is no better detective than a lady who is hell-bent on finding out the truth.

After a week, her husband came back home from his supposed journey to Abuja. When he went to work, she went back to the house he went to the other day, she met the woman at home, the kids had gone to school. She told the woman she was from an NGO that makes documentaries about women to showcase their strength and share their stories.

The woman told her she was married for 5 years and Amanda asked to see a picture of her husband. The unsuspecting lady showed her, lo and behold, it was Daniel. She composed herself and told the woman she will get back to her after listening to her story and after getting all the information she needs. Amanda left and went home to sort a plan.

On Daniel's next visit to his wife and children, she followed him there. She was surprised to even meet his mum and Deron, his elder brother there too. She told them she was disappointed in all of them, knowing fully well that it was their fault she was in the mess in the first place. She brought out a gun and threatened to kill all of them.

She kept to her words and she ended the lives of everyone there. After this, she left them and went home. On getting home, she started feeling sick and went to the hospital. She found out she was 2 months pregnant and regretted her actions. There were traces that she was the one who killed those people because the two kids were hiding in the house that day but she didn't know and she was arrested.

She wished she had more patience and had not killed any of them even though she felt used and betrayed. Now, her impatience landed her in prison. She kept on wondering who was going to take care of her unborn child since there is the certainty that the child would be taken from her after birth. She was worried and her mind wasn't at rest. At the end of the day, she lost her pregnancy...

In as much as we are a product of our culture, some things don't make so much sense. This can be swung both ways because I don't understand why others have to put their life on hold because of another when our paths are different? I would blame the culture for this and on the other end I would blame Daniel for this too because he is not oblivious of the fact that there is a culture at stake, so why marry before your brother when you know you don't want to give birth before him? Since you already defied that, why then put your wife through unnecessary heartache and not do right by her?

It begs a lot of questions too because Daniel could have put her on the arm contraceptives that most married women use when they are not ready to give birth. It's a minor operation on the arm to keep things on hold or why didn't he do one for himself too instead? Sometimes we act so selfish that we think culture is the problem but we are.

Don't make a decision when you are angry and this is why violence is never the answer. Her action didn't justify anything even though she was wronged. Two wrongs can't make things right but worse. It would make you throw your life away regardless of the situation of life you are dealing with. This is what happened to Amanda as well. As human beings, we need to act better so we won't be slaves to what we are supposed to be in control of. It's basic common sense.

Thank you for your time.

My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks. I am love's chemical content in human form and that's why I advise people to take a dose of "Olawalium" daily. 🙈

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