All In Your Head.

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I've always maintained that we are a product of how we were raised and the environment we found ourselves. I understand that it shouldn't be the reason why we turn out a certain way because we are responsible for our choices, but there are some choices we can never change. We might change it afterwards but immediately, we can't and they formed a bit of who we are and how we turn out.

We can never choose our family members. We have friends who turned family, yes, but you don't get to select who your siblings are as you would handpick who you want your friends to be. You can't determine the kind of upbringing you have. This is a choice sometimes your parent would have to make and even where to live - the environment you grew up in. Left to me, why wouldn't I want to live in a rich neighbourhood? I am sure more people would love to have that kind of life too especially when you've lived your life trying to make ends meet.

There are a lot of things beyond our control that we might never change again and there are some that we can change afterwards. The things we see around us affect us directly or indirectly, whether we like it or not. It gives us a preconceived notion of what we assume. A lot of the problems we have or the issues we think we are going through are all in our heads. We have seen the pattern somewhere or we have seen how it turned out for someone and we naturally assumed it's going to take the same shape with us forgetting that we don't know if the result that person got was as a result of ignorance or inactions.

We assume a lot because we think we want to prepare our minds or console ourselves. We want a soft landing so we wouldn't have to feel bad for ourselves. I am not saying there are no real problems, of course, there are but I am saying that there are issues people are going through that is only playing on in their heads. They invented the problem when they should have been focused on being better, they start feeling bad for themselves which leads them to inaction or worse still, lead them to take desperate steps that would end their lives.

We sometimes feel life is so hard and we can never find a way out of the rat race because our siblings are still struggling and our parents suffered. I have heard people say they won't bother themselves about being successful because success is unattainable to them. It's shocking to hear people think this way but please, I won't blame them. The kind of people you surround yourself with, matters.

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Have you ever been around insecure people? They feel every voice that whispers are gossiping about them and maybe those girls whispering were actually talking about a cute boy they can spot afar off and wondering how to summon up the courage to go. Maybe they were whispering because they didn't want another person to hear them look 'desperate' in getting the attention of the guy and here is someone who thinks they were gossiping about him or her because of the sandal that looks funny or the shift in the frame of her glasses. We start gathering enemies even when they didn't even notice us in the first place. Calm down and hold on...not everything is about you.

You are successful, you gained amazing support from people but whenever you take a walk, you feel everyone is out to get you and bring down your success. They are not out to get you. Maybe they want to get close to see how you made it and maybe when you listen to the idea from them you can build up on your already attained success too.

Some keep hearing voices that they are not good enough or might never be. It has limited them and they quit even before they try anything. Success becomes alien to them and taking risks is far from them and this keeps them grounded and think there is a spiritual battle against them but no, it's all in their heads because they haven't even tried yet they are dreading they'd fail. Stop thinking of the easy way out because it's all in your head.

I have heard of guys who think a lady isn't dating them because they are broke. Of course, we have ladies that would never date a guy because he is 'broke' compared to her but there are those who invent the reason why a lady turned them down was because they have no money by the virtue of the things they have seen around them. Maybe she did not want to date you because of the insensitive words you used and you are too blind to see how she shuddered when you said it. We want someone who can be sensitive to our every mood and also someone who can hold a meaningful conversation. Not every lady want your money, some genuinely want to connect with you so they can spur you on to greater heights.

A closed chapter is not the end of a book because you have other chapters to read and also write. Stop inventing problems before they come. You want to guard your heart, yes, but you need to focus on the problem to be able to tackle it not an invented problem that you must have gotten all wrong. We all have things we are dealing with that happened to all come from our heads and it's not even a reality, not even close.

Thank you for your time.