I saw you in my dreams for many times, laughing with me and comforting me whenever that I’m sad or down, it’s just making me feel happy. I know, next year will be the last time that I’m with everyone and also with you.

Grandma, you teach me many things despite of my immature behavior when I was a child. You told me many things that the olders do, I dreamed of you months ago. You were in my dreams where me and my love ones having a good time going to her place. You just smiled at me and say “Goodbye” with a twinkle in your eyes. I still remember it clearly.

During my birthday, I also dreamed of you. You told me that I already found “IT”, I don’t know what you mean about that but I guess I found the answer after many months. I already found the answer of what you said, I found it Grandma, yes grandma I found it.

I still remember when I dreamed of you when I was in grade 4, you were holding my white cat who killed by the people here because they ate it, you always telling me that, “Sweetheart, soon you will be out on your comfort zone.”, actually back then I really don’t understand why you told me that. Why you said those things to me, I hear that from you in my dreams many times whenever you were visiting me. And right now, today I just finally realized what you mean about my “comfort zone”.

Back then, I don’t understand what Comfort zone is and why I need to go out with it. But sooner, when I grew up it’s where I realized that my comfort zone is what you called a “Home”, or a “Family”.

Last week, we were talking to each other in my dream. You told me that this things supposed to happen so I don’t need to question anyone and everyone why they were helping me. I guess, you see my struggles in our family. You see me how I try to handle them bravely even if I feel weak inside.

You love popping in my dream whenever I feel depressed, and whenever I dream of you this feeling of mine were valid...I am happy. The happiness that I can’t feel in my family, the happiness that I can’t feel for them. I don’t have any idea about the God’s plan for me but I am trusting him.

Grandma, I feel your warmth out of nowhere. I just feel you, whenever I dreamed of you I can feel it...if you’re happy, sad, disappointed...everything about your presence. I don’t know if it’s just me or why I feel this way but you made me feel that I need to be thankful.

Hey Grandma, I miss you. I really missing you, I miss how you spoil me, how you feed me, how you make me feel love..you told me last night that “Someone will give you happiness you want to feel from me, that someone will help you in everything sweetheart. Just trust that person”, yes Grandma, that’s where I realized who’s that person is.

Suddenly when I woke up, I remember you told me before in my dreams that I will meet someone who will meet all of my expectation. I didn’t pay attention to it grandma, but right now everything is clear.

You were gone for almost years, but you didn’t let me to go in this world alone, you still guided me even though you’re not on my side. Grandma, if I can only go back and hug you tight, if I can go back and tell stories about what’s happening in my life in the future, if I can go back and tell you everything..I’ll do it.

If I just can go back, and kiss you in your cheeks again..I’ll say I love you once again..I’ll say I miss you once again, and I’ll say I need you once again 🥺.

If I just can go back..I’ll tell you how much I missed you.

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Author’s Note:

Sorry for the drama, My grandmother pop in my dream many times this month and it makes me feel really missing her and really wanter to hug her tight 🥺

10-28-21
by: OfficialGamboaLikeUs