How I Spend My Day When Depression Gets Me?

Sometimes life is rough and also tough, we're about to fall down and we're about to get up. We listen to the songs that will chill our moods, watch movies to chill us also. We'll eat anything we want and we do something that can lift up our mood.

So there are times my depression is bad, and my anxiety also. I don't know how to cope with them and I don't know how to be okay whenever it was on my way.

So, how I spend my day when depression hits me?

I always play Graal Classic.

If you are a introvert person, this game is for you. I'm playing this game since 2013 and I have already 8,181 hours for playing like almost years. I spend my time talking to the players and sharing them one of my problems. There's a lot of Brazilians, Africans and also Filipinos in this game. Actually, this game is a virtual RPG game where you can find friends, love life or anything. I don't have any ex here and I just playing this game for fun.

See the photos below:

They are my friends inside the game, the game has their own cities, guild or clan, houses, quest and other things. They also have a farming system where you can earn money to spend inside the game. This game is good when you hate socializing in real life. I also promoting this game of those who's depressed.

All the players were real, theres an admin, graphics team, level team, gani team, shops, guild wars or clan wars, naybe some of you know this game already.

Let me know if you guys were playing this game, let's hang out sometimes inside the game.

Reading Motivationals

When I know that I'm about to breakdown, all I do is to read motivational letters and qoutes. Also I keep reading them at facebook so that I can out my attention to other things. Sometimes depressions hit me real bad where the result is I don't have any appretite to eat, or any energy to do something. All I want is to lay down and try to understand things where I don't understand.

Actually sometimes reading motivation doesn't helping at all. I mean, you'll read motivation but later on here we go again. Putting everything aside and letting our feelings flow. it's just that sometimes nothing and no one can help us but only us.

I watch random stuffs.

When I'm depressed, I'm always watching on tiktok, facebook or in youtube. Anything that can make me feel relieved, I always do it. Sometimes I really hate noise and I don't watch anything and just letting myself be alone for some kind of reason. Yeah, I always feel like I want to watch randomstuffs but I can't.

I love watching animes and also movies, whenever I saw an article who's connected with anime's I checked it right away because maybe I can look into something that will grab my attention. Amd yeah I'm not wrong. I love anime that has a genre at Adventure, Comedy, Horror and also thriller. I don't watch Romance drama since I hate it.

I'm just moody.

Remembering old memories.

I always remembering what the old memories of mind I was had back then, sometimes sad, sometimes it was happy and sometimes it was embarrassing. I do this to prevent myself for breaking down. Sometimes. I just can't cobtrol my emotion and all I do is to let them flow like nothing.

I always do this when I'm about to sleep, and then the other day I'll try to remember what Am I thinking night before but ofcourse I can't remember it 🥲

Listening to musics.

I love listening to mysics, I walways listen to the songs titled, Payphone, 2012, Good times etc. I also like old somgs like Westlife, MLTR or anything as long as it was old.

I have this moments where wll songs that I was listening was all the songs from 1D or One Direction, I was once a fan of them but I was disappointed when they seperate. I already know that A lot of band always seperating but it was hurt because you idolize then yet they will separate or one of them will seperate.

But wait, do you ever felt like you're breaking down even if it's nothing? You're just laughing earlier and then later on sadness is eating you. You want to talk to someone and yet you want to stay quiet, you want to socialize but you're afraid about socializing. You're a friendly person but afraid to get insulted, you're a positive person but negative sides is eating you.

It's like having a monster in our head, in our heart and also inside is who's oreventing us to do what we really want to do.

I have this attitude where I was too friendly but I'm afraid to commit a friendship, I'm also afraid about what other people's talking about. I hate being like this and also it's tiring, but I want to be positive and to be happy even though sometimes I felt like nothing.

It's so numb and I just want to understand everything with my own without thinking about anything.

Author's Note:

I'm totally pissed of because of myself. I mean, I don't want this, I don't like it. I want to be free. Sometimes I wanna talk to my parents and tell them that their only daughter is tired and seeking to their attention. But whenever I do that, all I can hear is, "You keep blablablabla then go out here". Eh? I just want to feel their love. What's wrong with it?

I want to hear from them that they love me, and they care for me even though I know it was too impossible because I really can't feel it. They just keeping me because they know I can help them with their problems. My mother told me that as long as i have an obligation to them, I need to give them money.

And yeah, mother, money is not about everything. Please keep on mind that I need rest sometimes.

By:OfficialGamboaLikeUs.