For future me

January 12, 2022

Dear future self,

This is the first time that I had the gut to write a letter for you. I have been putting off writing for you because first I was traumatized when mother cried after she read my diary. It was not a formal diary. I just wrote a paragraph when I feel like it. She cried. What can I do? Diaries aren't supposed to be read by outsiders. It is something personal. I wrote there how I hated my course and it hurt her. I blame her for reading it. She breached my security and she was the only one who was held accountable for her pain. If she had respected my privacy, she would not be hurt. Curiosity really kills the cat.

I have been putting off writing a letter for you because I don't have much time or to better say it, I haven't allocate time for it. I didn't know that it would be this precious until I read how others write letters for themselves.

As of writing, you are already twenty- three years old. Old enough to have a stable job and old enough to be independent from your family. But unfortunately, you are still not. Online teaching have not resumed its operations yet and your subsitute appointment has ended. Technically today, you are jobless. Last year was the time when you have experienced the strongest typhoon with massive damage. Remember December 16 like it is another birthday. Indeed it is. You thought that you will die not knowing what is your family's status and condition. You thought you would die when  for instance you would hear your family didn't survive. But lo and behold, God delivered everyone.

For the past two years, life has been working hard to teach you a lesson and to unviel its adventure. You dived freely and cried numerous times. I love it when you overcome the things you never thought you would survive of. I like it when you conquer your fears and the uncertainties. Confidence and braveness look good on you.
You have lost friends too. Or was it the communication that is lost? Whatever. You are still doing good. You have lost contact and bonding with old friends but you have met new acquaintances. You have learned a lesson or two from them and that is more than enough for you.
I'm also disappointed with you too for disobeying your parents and for following your feelings and emotions. I know, they are persistent but they make you gullible and weak. But I witness to that you are happy. I know you are knowledgeable enough to distinguish the right from wrong and you know enough the consequences. I have seen how happy you are when you follow your heart but be courageous too. Take your brain with you. Don't left it somewhere.

Whatever happens to you in the future and wherever life takes you, I hope you will get to where you are supposed to be. I hope you get to achieve your dreams and aspirations. And if not, God forbid, I pray you will have a submissive and obedient heart. A heart that knows something bigger is meant for her.

Dear future self, I'm proud of you. You may have never heard that before but know that your twenty- three year old self is proud of you. You may not have a backer but I got you! Always!

*Lead Image is from Unsplash.com

Thank you for reading! Until then!