Legalizing relationship over potential conflict.

Some may say I am immature for deciding to end my 8 year relationship instead of making it work. It was painful yes, the part where I am already at ease with the daily routine and those times where I would wake up for the day looking forward to our interaction. And a whole day where she was always involve, a day without her that wasn't me, but I needed to end this and made her think, I am all in and I seriously want to go to the next level, and if she wasn't. She'll be the one to decide. It was not because the love wasn't there, but the more I stay the more I am not seeing any action from her. No plans, no good foundation, no future, hasty generalization, but can you blame me?

First off, I want you to know more about me, my gender sexuality. I am a girl with a guy genes. No matter how I tried thinking of loving a guy, I feel like throwing up. And a proof that my genes are intended to love a girl, when I met Kat, I was all over her, drowning, but she was never the type of girl who would fall to a girl, but I managed to enter and broke her walls and has been given the chance to show how much I love her. 8 years ago we promised to love each other. And I fulfill those that I promise. Only her.

I love her so much that I agreed when she proposed to hide everything from close friends to family. But later after a year we begun noticeable to friends and we eventually tell them about us. They accepted us and I am the most happy person in the universe. I also have told our relationship to my family brought her in our home and introduced her to them. She is welcome to our family. That I think theres nothing I could asked for more. I am wrong.

Because the thing was we aren't legal in her family. I gave her time. Because maybe their family looks at her like a girl and they expect her to marry a man, not someone like me. With a boobs, with vaginas and couldn't gave them grandchildrens. I tried to understand and thinks that the most important thing was I like her very much and she do love me too. Thats all that matters.

The past years we didn't talked about it, continue our hide and seek relationship and maybe she thinks that set-up was all okay to me. She doesn't know that, every day I wanted to visit her at their home not as a friend but as someone who loves her and worry for her whenever she feels sick and she has something going on with her work. To emotionally and physically assure her that I exist and she can share her worries to me.

The last two years, I occasionally tried to get into the topic, pushing it through, but she would just shrug my concerns. Maybe again after years, she wasn't really that ready. She still need more time to consolidate her feelings toward our relationship. The only assurance I could get that she loves me, was she is faithful and she is very open and had not like any man before, though she has a lot of suitors.

Looking back 2 months ago on how I ended it up, I always worry every day on how badly I wanted to visit her because she was having a bad time with her stomach. She complains about it and I couldn't get to her because her parents will know. I got pissed off. After a week, when she was all okay to go out, we've met of course along with her girl friends. And I try to talk to her about our situation. That If ever she actually have plans on introducing me to her family. She wasn't answering me. So I gave her sometime to think and let her decide, if she wants to establish a good foundation like me visiting her from time to time, so we make it like we've been so special. Or anything whatever that is comfortable for her. But when we talked about it again, she just told me that we are both happy with our situation and we are getting by. And was that not enough?

I never really wanted to end it, but the more I keep her way like that the more she become dependent. I couldn't act like nothing happened, I don't want to only hope that one day we are free to move and not afraid to be seen. I need action. I end it, telling her to accept herself, know herself, love herself and whenever she's ready, I will be waiting. Because I think, its on her, not with her family.

I hope that if you were facing this kind of relationship, you might resolve the potential conflict before it becomes bigger. Make it always legal. Call me an asshole but I am confident she will be able to find herself, if not for me, for her wondrous soul.

Love does not demand, but, must it be hidden?

Kat, I love you, and may we meet again. If you happen to be in the same crossing as mine, let us not let go of each other and take the same path.Lets make it legal, wherever that is.

T H A N K Y O U F O R R E A D I N G!!

Hi I think you missed my fictions so I made one once again. Haha. How was it?

Credits

Thanks to Abo Ngalonkulu @abo_explores for making the lead image available freely on Unsplash 🎁 https://unsplash.com/photos/xgK6o8h1L6M