My previous article talks about the dreams I had during childhood. If you wanted to know about that first to get a little bit of a background, you may want to visit it here.
Way Back in 2015...
It is finally time for me to finalize decisions for applying into universities. I tried taking entrance examination for two colleges: one private engineering school and the other is public. For the public university you are given three programs that you can choose from. I wrote into the application form my top three choices (preferred to least preferred): Psychology, Chemistry, and Chemical Engineering. And for the private engineering school the choices were Chemistry, Biological Engineering and Chemical Engineering. I followed my own decision with this list.
The results came in after a month, and I was surprised that I wasn't accepted into the public university. The reason was, there isn't enough slots for my chosen courses and they actually prioritize people living within the city for it( I live in a province close enough). So the only option was the other and I chose chemical engineering from the other uni.
It all went with a terrible, depressing start
My first semester was a hot mess. I really felt the pressure, difficulty, and all-nighters that older people talk about college. Since I don't live into a boarding house I travel back and forth 20 kilometers, facing the difficulty of traffic and getting a bus back home. I end up almost always standing in the bus for 1-2 hours every ride.
The subjects here are considered as introductory as we had algebra, trigonometry, engineering drawing, and other minor subjects. I failed in both algebra and trigonometry while barely passing the drawing subject. It made me realize how bad I am at all, that's considering I am an honor student in grade school and high school. With that, I have to go repeat the subjects again in the next semester to get a passing grade before advancing into the next. Thankfully I did not have any failing subjects after the first blood.
Second year of college went in and this is when most of my classmates got kicked out of the chemical engineering program because our department had a very strict rule with regards to retention policies. There is a major exam that students need to pass in order to process, and you only have to fail once, or else you get kicked out and must select another degree. Most of my classmates shifted into other courses or got into other schools because of this. The department said that out of 400 students who entered in the degree, only around 90 were left, which is really depressing to hear. Thankfully I managed to pass that, but the hardest has yet to come...
Streaks of failures have started
That second year of college got me into thinking that I don't fit into this choice. I got nearly expelled from the program since there was a subject that only has one chance of failing and the final exam is going to be a gamechanger for this one. That subject is Chemical Engineering Calculations 2 which is not supposed to be difficult, but our professor was really grinding us with his exams.
I studied day and night for that examination due to the fact that I don't want to waste all of my efforts for this degree to just get kicked out because of one critical subject. The exam day came in and I was nervous because that's the only chance I got. It seems that our prof had a really great day because he just used our old quizzes and compiled them into the final exam which means we know how to solve the problems. Even though it was easy, it took us 3 hours to solve the 5 question problems within 4 hours and 30 minutes. We were able to get through this.
Another frustration of mine was the Calculus 1, and 2, and Physics 2& 4 subjects because I failed them all. It added further into my episodes of self-doubt, frustration, and sleepless nights. These failures added up and degraded my sanity. That school year made me a walking zombie due to my mental issues that time kicking me out of reality. I had numerous classmates that failed much more than me but I don't want to think that it's okay to fail numerous times, just once.
Regaining momentum after the brutal losses
My third year was really a blast, when I did not fail anymore and I was enjoying the college life to the fullest. Our numbers have dwindled to something like 40 in just one class, but it was the best because we felt like high school students again. For 2 more years, we stayed and helped one another as a whole and this made us confident, happy, and enjoy learning.
Our major subjects are intimidating for sure, but we studied as a group and aced major exams with ease. It was like an adventure where we enjoyed doing the things related to academics and there's no stress at all, aside from my daily commuting and night classes. This continued until the time we are supposed to part ways.
The terrible pandemic ruined the marching...
After almost 6 years in college, I was able to finish all academic subjects and requirements this July for my degree which was supposed to be last year.
In the first month of March 2020, we received a news that we are going to have a lockdown where schools need to close. We were left with a month before we are supposed to graduate and complete everything. The pandemic did extend my year unfortunately but I learned a lot last year.
Last August 2020, I did finish the classes but my research paper was postponed and restructured because it was supposed to be a wet lab experiment, where the procedure is done on-site. But due to the lockdowns and prohibited face-to-face meetings, we were left with no other choice but to do simulation experiments or computational studies that can be done in any computer. That means I worked on and off with my research paper for almost a year before completing it at the end of last month.
And now, a poll was created by the school if the graduates of this year would prefer face-to-face to virtual graduation. Students chose the actual experience instead of the virtual, but it might happen later after the lockdowns again. We are really hoping that this terrible pandemic and lockdowns will end so that we can finally march with freedom.
Doubts for the Future, But Wish Me Luck!
For this year, I planned that the following months after until the end of 2021 to be my "rest days" where I can do anything I wanted. For January 2022, I wanted to review first for the licensure exams here in the country so that I will be ready by May next year.
Currently I am enjoying read.cash and noise.cash for talking with other people, discovering them, and sharing my own experiences. I have made new friends out there too, along with the ones that I knew since last year. Hopefully by this month I can accomplish the goal of nearing 1 BCH.
Aside from that, I will resume into improving and creating artworks. I just started learning last year and it was an incredible journey for me. I can't imagine how much I have progressed in the span of the year learning multiple mediums at once. But I have lots of things to learn yet for sure. I am excited to see more surprises before this year ends!
My college journey was difficult and strange, but it helped me learn to be persistent and keep going until I succeed with it. And I hope that this long read gave you the courage and inspiration to keep going, no matter what problems you are currently facing.
See you in the next one, where I'll be sharing my art journey!
*Lead Photo from Unsplash
Keep working for your dreams Bryan! My son had quite same disadventures and at the end changed kind of studies more suitable for his artistic attitudes and now he is doing great! Hugs my amazing friend!