A Childhood Dream, Molded by Adults

What kind of dream job do you want in the future?

I just finished my studies in college this July, and only attending to some requirements needed for the documents. I was amazed at how I reached this kind of personal achievement which actually went through different decisions and dreams that I envisioned before.

My parents and relatives often asked me during my childhood about what career or job should I get in the future. It's a difficult question to answer for sure, especially since I am still a child with no idea how jobs or career works. Children only knows the general idea behind each job.

When older people asked me what would I see myself in the next 15 years or so, ( I was around six years old that time) my answer would be " I will become a pilot!". Then they would ask me why. My answer would be because I wanted to travel the world and experience flying! It sounds like a fun profession, isn't it?

After five years, back in grade school around fifth grade, there was a time when I had difficulty seeing what was written on the board. I asked my teacher if I can sit in front to see the notes from the board. My teacher moved beside me while standing and answered, " Why can't you see that from here? I can see it clearly from here where you are seated. If you are having a hard time, you must consult an eye doctor." she said. That made me feel nervous as I don't like my vision to get worse or else I need to wear specs.

I told my mom about this after coming back home, and she said that we should schedule an eye exam the next day and thankfully got the glasses which helped me taking notes in class. But I am not a fan of having glasses as all because it is disruptive and annoying to wear at times.

My mom and aunt told me about the dream of being a pilot someday, which requires perfect vision. Also they added that it is expensive to get into a good aeronautics school, so I should reconsider blah blah, something like that. That dream felt like impossible now. Being a pilot might not be for me at all...

Confused and Clueless in High School?

Around my third year in high school, we had a test that would determine what kind of career path and course we should choose in College. The test results told me that I am well-fitting for linguistic, scientific, and psychology related careers. I am still confused about what should I choose as my mind wasn't set into any choices.

Then in fourth year high school the pressure I felt was incredible. Even in the first semester of the school year, most students are already set into applying for entrance exams in their chosen universities alongside their chosen career paths. Meanwhile I am still wondering what I really wanted to achieve, picturing the kind of life that looks ideal for me. That time, I went for Psychology since I wanted the kind of career where I can learn about the human mind, talk and help people suffering from their personal and mental health issues.

Second semester came in and we have a very talkative Social Studies teacher who wants to dig into the life of her students. She suddenly asked the class to write an essay about the career path we have chosen for college. After submitting the paper, she skimmed through everyone's work while mentioning each one's content. As she saw mine, her face was full of shock and disapproval. She told me, " Bryan, why did you choose this? You're smart and it will go to waste if you go with this."

I am considered as one of the best students in our class, consistently getting hakot awards (getting most of the awards and medals every recognition). That might be the reason why she told me that my potential is wasted. I have told the same career path thing to my mom and aunt and their sentiment was " Are you going to earn from that? Please reconsider it." That made me overthink a lot actually.

Asking for Help and Guidance

My father is a mechanical engineer and my uncle (his brother) is an electrical engineer. I approached them to ask for help regarding this situation. Both of them told me that engineering is hard for sure due to the math, engineering majors, and technical drawings. Since I am not good at drawing that time and hated it, I chose an engineering major that doesn't require complicated drawings. Also, I want a food or chemistry related major, which led me into considering chemical engineering.

I told this to my parents and they even shared this to our extended family. They all approved, but I don't feel confident about it. I had lingering thoughts that time asking myself, "Is this career path really for me, or for my parents and relatives"? It seems that most of the inputs regarding my career choices came from the older people around me, while I am being clueless at all...

to be continued...

See you in the next one!

If you wanted to know a bit about myself, let me show you my introduction.

Image Sources:

*Lead Photo by Randy Tarampi on Unsplash

* Airplane by John McArthur on Unsplash

* Specs by Arun Prakash on Unsplash

[#3] August 8, 2021