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She's The One I Want

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Written by   113
8 months ago

_____________________________

My beloved and I cannot stay together - or so they say. Sometimes I asked myself why? Because I don't understand, although they say we are different- or so his mother stakes.

We are different?

Like how?

I'm disturbed.

On the day I and Francis went to visit his mother for the first day, she make me understand that the relationship between me and Francis Can not work out. I sit there like a log and I was tight-lipped as if my tongue is tied, I could not even find any phrase to express my perplexity, still looking mystified, Francis asked me to excuse them " wait for me in the car, I will be there with you shortly" he pleaded. He was also stunned by his mother's action. I obeyed him and leave the room, but I pose by the door and eavesdropped. " I have to know why his mother who sounded so sweet over the phone earlier now looks so different to me when I finally meet her" I thought to myself.

" mom, why are you being like this? What is the meaning of all this? " I hear him say.

" I'm telling you the fact, I'm not being indifferent" his mother yelled at him.

"The fact! Which is....?"

"Don't tell me you don't understand my sentiment, I said you can not marry her, no son of mine will ever marry from that tribe, and I mean what I'm saying"

" mum, what are you saying? But why? She's the I love"

"Never! There are a lot of other women outside there that you can choose from, find someone else to love, I will never allow that to happen, not today, not tomorrow"

"Why can't it be her mom? I don't want anyone else, she's the one I want"

" That's impossible, I can never accept someone from that tribe as a daughter-in-law"

" Why are you being irrational? I thought you are educated enough to be speaking like this, I thought you should know better" he said

" you dare call me irrational? Call me whatever you want, I've told you what I want and that's the final, she's not even married to you yet, she has already turned you against me, then when you end up marrying her, she will make you do the worse"

"mom, she deserves a chance, she has done nothing for you to treat her this way"

" I have nothing left to say, it's either you choose between me and her, then let me know when you finally decide" she moved away while saying this.

" Ah-ah, this is too much mom, you can't just........"

The door opened and bang, everywhere was in dead silence.

That was all I heard them saying while I pose by the door, I feel bittered, my heart was heavy with words my lips may never get to utter. I moved calmly in the direction of the car we brought, then another door banged and I know it was him coming out, I watched him coming over to the car, his eyes look like when he was depleted. I struggle to seize the tears that threaten to drip down my eyes soon. He joined me in the car but I looked in the other direction.

He took a deep breath as entered the car " I know you heard everything"

I nodded my head because it was not so much of a question as it was a statement.

He tried to console me "I'm sorry about everything, I promise to sort everything out, don't see my mother as a bad person, don't worry, everything will be fine, we'll be fine"

I smiled, a pained smile, he held my hand and squeeze it gently just to comfort me, he does not sound so confident as the Francis that I know, I can even tell from his face that he isn't so sure anymore, how can I not be worried? I asked myself.

I glanced from the window to look at the house one more time, who know? It could be my last time. I was filled with uncertainty. As we leave, I closed my eyes and allow the tears to drip down, caressing my cheeks as they make their way down my chin and I began to think about the whole phenomenon.

Families we had no choice but to be born in, identities we had no choice but to embrace, because of this division called tribe, I and my beloved can not be together - or so they say.

This is a short story to demonstrate tribalism and ethnicity in our community. I will love to know your view on this in the comment section.

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Written by   113
8 months ago
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Comments

Tribalism and ethnicity have ruined many things, especially disallowing partners to get married all in the name of "I won´t allow you to marry him or her, especially from that tribe". This is the same thing my maternal grandmother keeps insisting, saying to me that I should never marry from this tribe but a tribe she wants for herself. I just laughed that day because I can´t choose for myself na...It is God who will. Will I now disobey God because someone is opposing it? It´s my life...Lol

$ 0.03
7 months ago

Abi nahnn, we never can tell where the right person might come from... What if it happens to be the tribe our parents despise, then problem arise.. lol Not funny though, tribalism is a serious case that need to be dealt with.. Thanks for stopping by ma'am.

$ 0.00
7 months ago

This tribal this is just so sad and should be shunned. What's even sadder is when an educated mother who should rebuke the uneducated ones is the one being this way. I feel for both parties and I hope they can sort out the issue

$ 0.02
8 months ago

If the guy is not strong enough, he might end up listening to his mother... But it will be painful for the lady though... Thanks for stopping by.

$ 0.00
8 months ago

Wow! First of all, I love your storytelling, I was entranced as I read. Secondly, this is so very sad. Tribalism is similar to so many of the other -isms that breakdown families and cause division in society. I can only hope and pray that we can mature enough to see beyond the makeshift barriers that we construct to divide ourselves and start to search each other's hearts to find ways where we can unite. We are so much stronger when we can find common ground.

$ 0.02
8 months ago

The issue of tribalism has caused many dilemmas in our society, not only in marriages but also in other areas, like in the place of our work, in our institutions, etc, this has to stop in other to Foster unity in our community... Thanks for stopping by and I appreciate your kind words.

$ 0.00
8 months ago

This is more common than it seems, some married and ended up well while some got 'I told you so' from their parents when it ended. The 'I told you yoruba men are bad and you should have listened to me' sort of thing. We'll be fine

$ 0.02
8 months ago

When it comes to marriage, I think love should supersede all of the forms of tribalism and ethnicity, but our parents are making it to be hard...some parents are not like that though...

$ 0.00
8 months ago

Yeah, some are cool with it. Would you marry someone without your parent's approval?

$ 0.00
8 months ago

Yeah... I know as time goes on, they will get to understand my sentiments, they will not be the one to face the problem for me when I get married to someone I don't really know...I Sound crazy right?🙄

$ 0.00
8 months ago

This is the problem most couple face, though this kind of problem have been reduced over the years but it's still in play, I know of some marriages that had to end because of tribe, even me, my mom already told me she won't let me marry from this type of tribe, here by passing the enmity of one tribe from generation to generation

$ 0.02
8 months ago

Tribalism shouldn't be a problem when it comes to the issue of marriage, because it's a lifetime issue, some people were unable to be with the person they love because of the issue of tribalism... It's better to fight against it than to be in a marriage that you'll not enjoy... If we see ourselves as one, then tribalism should be shunned. Thanks for your contribution .

$ 0.00
8 months ago

You're welcome

$ 0.00
8 months ago