I hate conflicts. I am not argumentative and I hate explaining myself. I would rather lose the argument, stay away from the heat of the conversation and maintain my peace rather than lose my cool because I want to prove something. I am passive and timid.
That is why I do my best to be at peace with the people around me. While I know this is bordering on an unhealthy mindset, I try to please people as much as I can. I compromise, I give up my rights, I keep quiet. But this doesn't mean that I allow myself to be a doormat. Let's just say I have a huge space in my tolerance room. This is how I resolve conflicts.
I have learned in my Stress and Conflict Management class that there are at least five styles people handle their conflicts. Allow me to share those:
Avoidance
A person who resolves to this style thinks or pretends that the conflict is nonexistent or he just ignores it. This strategy is often used when the effort to resolve the situation is not worth the salt. However, oftentimes this worsens the situation more than addresses it. Instead of actively engaging with the problem, it is being sidestepped, or the resolution is postponed, worse ignored.
A turtle is a symbol of avoidance. When a threat or an uncomfortable situation occurs, what it does is pull its head and legs into its shell and be off to everything. It will only revert to normal when things are already OK.
Accommodating
In accommodation, the conflict is solved when someone puts his interests last to satisfy the concerns of others. He gives in, he sacrifices, accepts, or yields to the other's point of view. In other words, to settle the issue, a person surrenders his case.
The bad side is being too accommodating weakens one's position to the point where the voice is never heard or acknowledged. This style might solve the conflict for the other party, but the accommodating party might stir up internal issues. Hence, this style is not objective.
A symbol for accommodating style is the chameleon because it changes its color to match the color of its environment. As it changes its color to accommodate its surroundings, the chameleon fits quietly into its environment.
Competing
In competition, parties try to dominate each other. One stands up for his rights and uses all the power available to win his position. A person puts his interest before anyone else's. However, this style can only be used when one's leadership is established. In the presence of many varying opinions, one voice has to dominate to resolve the conflict.
A classic example of this style is when two men duel to prove dominance. Also, clans and families in some
A lion can be a symbol of a competitive style. The lion’s roar helps the lion to satisfy its interests. All other animals submit to his roar and leadership.
Compromising
Compromise is on the path toward collaboration, somewhere between competition and accommodation. With this style of conflict management, there is mutual give-and-take to satisfy the parties involved.
An example is when parties compete for a leadership position. A compromising setup is to agree on a term-sharing condition or divide the domain into sub-groups so the parties can have a "share of the pie".
A zebra can be a symbol for the compromising style. A zebra’s unique look seems to indicate that it didn’t care if it was a black horse or a white horse, so it “split the difference” and chose black and white stripes.
Collaborating
Collaborating is the opposite of avoiding. It is integrative and focuses on satisfying the concerns of all parties involved. In collaborating, parties work together towards a common good and common goal. Through this style, parties involved develop ownership and commitment. Sometimes this style gives birth to new mutual needs.
A perfect example is during leadership meetings. Opinions vary and arguments are inevitable but at the end of the day, a healthy leadership meeting focuses on mutually agreed decisions. Usually, decisions are made through votation, casting of lots, or leader's appointment.
These are different styles in managing conflict. Which of these styles can you relate to the most? Share in the comments below.
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Hi, I am Marts! I am a writer, and aside from my stint here in read.cash, I also have my own blog - martsvalenzuela.com. I appreciate it if you pay me a visit! I plan on growing my readership as I learn to improve my craft and journey towards my passion to write and publish books that add value to people.
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Conflict managing is such a core skill for any manager that these blueprint must be in the heads of everyone working with human resources... missing a special item named "telling people you have had fun time with their mother". Cheers :D