Where do they come from?

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2 years ago

It's been days again that I haven't visited the platform. Actually, I have time to write only if I want to despite all of the mommy duties. I can write whenever my baby is asleep but, I chose not to. I was carried away with TikTok videos about babies and I was like crazy because I can't hold my tears whenever I see videos about baby and kids. I was never like this before. In fact, I don't like babies that I thought of not having one. But tadaaa! God blessed me with one cute little angel. Though I was not really prepared for this, I accepted my fate along with the challenges.

But hey, I noticed some of my attitudes and characters have changed from being calm and unbothered to cry-baby and praning (idk what's the term to use in English for praning lol). These days, I usually cry whenever I see touching videos especially about pregnancy and babies. Believe it or not, I also cry sometimes while I am watching my baby. Maybe because the trauma is still there. I can still remember the difficulties my baby went through after I gave birth to her. I even questioned God why He let my baby suffer and fight for her life while other newborn babies are healthy. The memories are still here with me, living in my brain and heart and I think that's the reason why I am afraid to make a mistake in taking care of my baby.

Yesterday, I chatted @Zhyne06 again because I have these worries and I need answers from an experienced mom. I asked her about the tips how to make a baby burp since I really don't know how. I tried and tried but then I was worried again I might hurt my baby. She was small compared to the other babies who are born with the normal newborn weight making it hard for me to carry her, make her burp and even change her diapers and clothes. There was this instance when we were still in the hospital, I cried again seeing other babies who are born with a weight of more than 2.5 kg. I questioned myself what did I do. Why is my baby having low birth weight? Was it because I was stress during the pregnancy or was it because I have an anemia? Or was it because I haven't took the vitamins my OB-GYNE has told me to take? I really regret following the advices I got from here. They said, I shouldn't take those vitamins prescribed by the OB since it will make the baby big and it's a benefit fot them if I will have a C-section since the pay will be big. For Pete's sake I really don't want to follow them because I know deep within me that my baby needs those vitamins. But, the fear of being called disrespectful and disobedient took over me. I was afraid my boyfriend's family would brand me with those adjectives so I didn't bought those vitamins and just rely on the food I eat.

For this reason, I hated myself. I blame myself for everything. It's my fault why baby needs to have those antibiotics and feel the pain of those needles even when she's only 2 days old. Some of us adults, are even afraid of needles so how much more a baby? Oh God. I wish I can erase those memories because if not, I will forever blame myself.

This is also the reason why I wanted someone to take care of my baby because I am too afraid to make a mistake and because my anxiety is always acting up. You know sometimes, I don't want to get close to my baby. I prefer someone who's good in taking care of a baby to take care of my baby too. And when it's time for feeding, I will just be there to breastfeed her. I don't know I think I am getting crazy for thinking this way.

I even panicked yesterday when I saw some milk coming out of my baby's mouth. What does that mean? 😔

I don't know but the feeling of worry and fear are living within me. It feels like they overpower me everytime. I know I should not complain since I need to learn everything. And knowing that other first time moms made it so why can't I?

Oh dear, I guess these are what they called baby blues or pospartum depression perhaps.

What are your thoughts?


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2 years ago

Comments

It's pointless to blame anyone or yourself sis. Bawi ka nlng ngayon, maganda ginagawa mo of asking more experienced moms about this and that. Hoprefully, baby will grow healthy, of course always pray for God's intervention.

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2 years ago

I have an eight month old baby and I am a completely relaxed mom. This is my second child so maybe that’s the reason. I don't think that there is any reason to worry and remember this - babies are much stronger than it seems to us. For babies the most important thing is to be clean and not hungry, everything else they will do without your help, just enjoy and don't worry. Taking care of baby is really easy and we are sometimes complicating things without reasons.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Wow how to be you po, ms. Jelena. How's the baby po? Was there any complication? Sabi po nila mas delikado po 8 month old baby kesa sa 7. Ako po Kasi first time mom pa still learning and dumaan po kasi kami sa matinding pagsubok. Low ang sugar ni baby tsaka may infection po sya at 1.98 lang po timbang nya.

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2 years ago

I didn't understand all your words in this comment but I am sure that with the time you will be more relaxed and that every thing is going to be great.

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2 years ago

I feel you mamsh. Until now may mga bagay na baka kasalanan ko, baka nagkulang ako. I had an Emergency Cs and after nailabas nila ulo ni bb nakapulupot na yung pusod sa leeg nya. Kapag nakkwento ko sa ibang tita ko, sinasabi nila kasasayaw mo yan habang buntis ka.

Anyway, don't compare other babies to yours kasi nga every person is unique, even babies. As long as the baby is gaining weight, goods ka na mamsh. But always remember, do not hesitate to consult an expert when in doubt. Your in laws maybe parents pero iba pa dn ang pedia or kapag ang doctor ang nagsabi. I know it's hard not to overthink but your well-being is also your baby's well-being. Your baby needs you, you'll need each other in a way. Sya muna kakampi mo kahit di ka pa nya naiintindihan. Pagdating ng ilang linggo she'll start to respond to you in his/her own way. Advice ko mamsh, if wala ka mapagsabihan ikwento mo kay baby. Kausapin mo sya, makakagaan ng loob mo, makikita mo pa sya minsan magsmile and it will also help your baby's brain development. Feels weird but you'll get used to it. :)

Normal po ung lungad (milk coming out after feeding) 6mos na bb ko naglulungad pa dn paminsan minsan HAHAHAA.

Ifollow mo ung mga pedia sa Tiktok mamsh, follow mo din ako chaaaaar!!!

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Anong nangyari sis bakit nakapulopot pusod ni baby sa ulo nya? Awee I appreciate this mamsh. Thanks sa advice nato. Kinakausap ko naman baby ko lalo na nung nasa hospital pa kami umiiyak ako habang kinakausap ko sya. Ano mga ID ng pedia sa tiktok? At ang iyo na rin? Hehe

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2 years ago

Kapag malikot ang baby sa tummy ayun. Follow ko si @doctoratyourdoor tska si @umipig_md. Ako same username dn HAHAA. Madami ako sabit eh.

Kapag di sya nakaburp or kapag mahangin tyan ni bibi try mo yung running teknik. Hihi

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2 years ago

Naku po diko alam yang running teknik haha

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2 years ago

Eto watch mo hahahah https://youtu.be/OAe1C-kAliU

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2 years ago

OMG, I don't really know what to say I mean wala akong ma esuggest na pwdng gawin pero sana tigilan mo na muna ang mag isip ng mag isip. Walang mabutinf maidudulot yan nakaka stress lang yaan. Basta fighting!☝️

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Pano po mapatigil ang mag isip ng mag isip 🥺 even before my pregnancy I have an anxiety. Nangunguna palagi utak ko natatakot ako sa kung anu mang mangyari. Sana nga maging okay na din at di nako mag isip ng mag isip

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2 years ago

First thing, do not compare your child to other children out there. God knows why I is so and you asking those questions is like blaspheming God. No, do not do that. You can just visit the doctor when you observe any changes in your baby. Don't worry, your angel will always be fine and healthy and when she starts growing up, you will be amazed at her growth. Just believe God is wonderful in that aspect.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

I Felt sorry for comparing my baby 🥺 I just can't stop overthinking and blaming myself. But yeah, I believe God will make my baby strong and healthy. He gave this angel to me so He's letting her stay with me with the abundance of good health.

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2 years ago

Great. She is an angel indeed to you. So, be good and let her grow 😘

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2 years ago

You need to inform little details to pediatrician in your next visit, my doctor used to tell me, as long as the baby is happy and smiling and actively playing, there is nothing to worry about weight or height etc., and milk coming out might be caused by milk over consumption... cant say anything withut seeing sis, you better note down these things for your next visit

And most importantly, please do not panic, it only increases the issue more, stay confident and keep telling yourself that this too shall pass

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Yes sis, next month will be our next visit. I will surely take note of the things I noticed in my baby. I didn't knew being a mom would be this hard. If only I can avoid not to panic sis, I will. I have an anxiety even before I give birth and now it's acting up again making the situation worse. But I will try to be calm as I can for the baby. Thank you, sis.

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2 years ago

Oh, I have no idea about this. Once I get married I will my wife and then I will tell you solution about it. hihi

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2 years ago

It's okay friend I understand. And when you get married, please don't make your wife stressed especially if she's pregnant

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2 years ago

Of course , mate. I will take much care of it.

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2 years ago

Dear take the suggestions from the experience or pediatrician. It will be helpful.

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2 years ago

Yes, I have a contact of the pedia and we have a monthly check up

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2 years ago

The fault is surely yours as your fears for your boyfriend's family could not even allow you do the right things interms of the vitamins your baby needs for a better development and now who's reaping the pains from your baby's loss of weight and vitamins? You isn't? Therefore, i'd advice you follow your instinct first before seeking to please anyone either close to you or otherwise.

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2 years ago

True. I don't have anything against what you said because this is the reality. 🥺 i should have followed my instincts and do as what the OB said. Now I am living with regrets

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2 years ago

I guess your baby had such a low weight of just 2.5kg because of the fact that you were either too concerned with your diet so that you don't have problems delivering the baby or you were constantly doing some strenous exercise or perhaps, hard work that's why

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2 years ago

Yeah, too concerned with my diet because the people here on where I live were always eyeing on the food I eat. now i really regret why I listen to them

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2 years ago

I think the solution to your problem sis is stop comparing your baby to others, iba iba naman kasi ang baby eh, though may mali ka nga kasi you should’ve drink the prescribed vitamins for the baby, but nothing to worry naman kasi kahit maliit sya ngayon nasa labas na sya madali na lang patabain yan, don’t stress yourself too much kasi madede ni bebe ang stress mo, just relax ok:)

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2 years ago

You always make me feel better, sis. Sana magkapit bahay nalang tayo para kung may tanong ako takbo lang ako sa inyo. Oo nga eh, I feel sorry na din kasi kinocompare ko baby ko sa iba. Kung mauulit lang talaga nilakasan ko kain ko at nagtake ako ng mga vitamins prescribed by my ob. Madali lang ba palakihin mga baby sis? Last check up namin from 1.9 naging 2.4 na baby ko. Sana nga mas madali lang takbo ng oras para lumaki na baby ko at mawala natong mga worries ko.

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2 years ago

Naku sis kung kapitbahay kita baka ako na nag alaga sa baby mo, 10 years old na yung bunso ko kaya nakakamiss mag alaga ng baby,😍 Ako din maliliit mga baby ko nung nilabas ko kasi para sakin mas madaling ianak ng normal at pag lumabas yan tataba din yan, hintayin mo mag one month butchog na yan;) basta tip ko lang sayo kain ka ng healthy foods lalo at breastfeeding ka, kasi kung ano kinakain mo yun din ang dinidede ni baby

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2 years ago

Ano fetal weight ng mga baby mo sis pag labas nila?

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2 years ago

Okay naka run mamsh? Traumatic baya jud kaau giagian ninyu mag ina. I wish you the best and good health kay baby mamsh. Ayaw kaau pa stress mamsh kay prone bya mo sa post partum depression. However, normal rajud daw nang anay changes mamsh.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Di pa jod kaajo okay mamsh. Na trauma kos panghitabo. Gamay nga unusual nga lihok sa bata mag panic nako kay wa koy alamag jod. Mag una ahong utok nga what if ma admit napod simbako tungod kay ani ana. 🥺

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2 years ago

It's normal that baby's mouth sometimes has milk coming out because they are full. If you want to let he burp after she breastfeed, just hold her upward and slowly pat her back..and wait until she burp.

My baby is also underweight before.. some people think I don't take care of her well, which is not true. She's ready petite, there are babies like that and babies from 1-2 yrs old are sicky because they are easily get infected as their immune system is not yet strong.

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2 years ago

I tried to burp her PO pero I am not sure if I am doing it right 🥺 that's why I really wanted to let other experienced mom to take care of my baby because I can't be wrong again. I don't want my baby to get into trouble because of me. Oh it's my anxiety again acting up. Ano po fetal weight ng baby nyo po?

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2 years ago

There's always a change when anyone gives birth. The person becomes tender and soft hearted because of the baby

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2 years ago

Yes, that's what I also read. I searched for the reasons of these changes on the internet. I really do changed a lot, emotionally. I was always the calm one but now all I ever do is to panic

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2 years ago

Maybe you overfeed your baby. Or you need to make him burp by cuddling him up and massaging his back. Btw, he or she? 😅 I forgot haha

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2 years ago

Maybe. I am not sure tho ms. Jane. 🥺 I don't have the knowledge when it comes to taking care of a baby. Ni hindi ko nga nakarga o di nga ako nakapag alaga sa mga siblings ko. It's she po. Hehe

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2 years ago

Ing ana sab ko sauna day kay malnurished akong anak mha 8months to 1year kapin jud ,maghilak ko oy labi nag naa eja comment ang uban tao nga makita as sakit jud.Pakalig.on inahan para sa imong anak ,salig lang jud sa ginoo tabangan ta kanunay ,ma okay ra ang tanan🙏

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2 years ago

Ngano malnourished man sija mamsh? Kuwang pod sijag timbang? Mao lge oy waman hinuoy comment pa ag mga tao diri. Pakalig on jod kay watay laing choice. Kinahanglan tas atong anak. Salamat mamsh, tinuoray gikapoy na jod ko pero laban lang. And yes, maokay ra tanan. 🙏

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2 years ago

I think right now you are still overwhelmed by everything but just take a deep breath, relax. You can also seek advice from other experienced parents, children are different but similar in a lot of ways. I'm sure you'll figure this out, you got this.

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2 years ago

Yeah, very overwhelmed. It's almost one month now when I gave birth but things don't sink in as of now. Yes, I always ask my mom friends and other mommies here in neighborhood.

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2 years ago

Ako lage mangapply charot hadlok ta mokugos basin maka alilis ta

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2 years ago

Hahaha naa pakay pag umangkon bantajanan bayot. Di lalim magbantay bata jusko hapit nako mabuang

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2 years ago