Stop being shocked by repeated behavior

If you let people do things you don't like and just pretending you're fine with it, then prepare for the worse that they have become.

For instance, you don't like making fun of the way you dress but because you wanted to make friends, you tolerate the bad behavior and pretend that you're cool with it. Well, there's nothing wrong it with it somehow but if it keeps going everyday, would you be just used to it or would become more and more annoyed? But you can't say anything because you want belongingness.

Same as in relationships, if you let your partner hit you once, or maybe twice, then don't expect that he/she will not do it again. Because you let him/her, stop being shocked by repeated behavior.

They said, "You deserve what you tolerate".

So be careful of the things that you tolerate. You might not handle them.

Hello lovely people! How have you been? How's your Tuesday went? Whatever it is, I'm hoping for the best always. I was planning to take a rest today since my stomach is aching just yesterday night and until now. I don't want to drink meds either so I just took some rest and drink plenty of water. Do you have any home remedy suggestion for an upset stomach? Please let me know. Anyway, let's keep this going.

Growing up, I used to think that letting people in your circle will always be good for you. Why? Because they will be considered as friends or more who are there for you. In order to avoid isolation, I tried to search for people who I can be with.

My classmates

I remember when I was in High School, like I was just Freshman then, I really wanted to have friends just like what I did in my elementary. I was quite down that time because I thought no one would befriend me since I don't have the gadgets while they have. I was thinking how to keep up with them. So I borrowed my neighbor's phone and brought it to school. That's the first step that I gained friends. One of my classmates asked me if what's the brand of that phone and how much does it cost. So I just make up everything seem believable. I gained friends because I now have a gadget like them. They also started to ask about our house, the cost of my bag, the brand of shoes and everything and I just answered them with lies. I lied to them that what I have are also expensive. And because I tolerated their behavior, I cannot complain anymore if I don't like them or not. It was me who let them do that to me. If only I was honest with myself, then I shouldn't be lying, faking everything about me. So I decided to distance myself from them.

My friends

As I grow older, I valued honesty. Regardless if I gain friends or not, I will not fake who I am. Fortunately, I found friends who I am happy with. They don't care about social status. What they are after of is the true you and your presence. I felt belongingness with them. One time, there's this act that I don't like. It doesn't mean I don't like them for that, I was just a bit annoyed because whenever there's something funny, they would spank your head. (yung kaibigan mong mapanakit pag tumatawa, yun yun eh) I just smiled and pretended I'm fine with it. So everytime they're happy or something's very funny, it's expected that I or someone in the circle would get a spank in the head. It's annoying! But again, I did not complain so they think that's okay.

My family

I don't like seeing my family pity me. I mean I want them to think that I'm always okay and happy. I also thought that I will be.

When I was in elementary since high school, I was an honor student. My grandma always told me to be serious in my study because she wants me to be at the top consistently. Little did I know that I am making my grandma expect that everything she said is fine for me since I didn't say a thing. I want to make them proud of me so I did my best though I really didn't want to be an honor student for I don't like to be ranked or labeled. That would just cause high expectations.

In college, it's the same again. They want me to have that flying colors when I graduate. No one asked if I can do it or I if I like it in the first place. They are used to before so again, they think it's okay. Until one day, I became so tired of everything, of the pressure and the weight they put in me. I vent out everything especially to my grandma. I let them realize that they should let me do things my own since I am already in the right age. I was just so tired of being controlled.

That was the first time my grandma cried heavily for she was shock that I will talk back. I just realized that they have expected too much in me just because I let them be. I should have spoken at first.

My neighborhood

Of course, di mawawala ang mga chismosang kapitbahay. I don't know but there are just neighbors who really crossed their boundaries. Like they feel they know more how to deal with your life than you. I respect my neighbors especially the old one so whenever they would badmouth about our family, I will just be silent. Not until one time, one of our neighbors scolded us just because me and my friends are laughing. She told us that we are disturbing others who are sleeping. And I was like omg, it's just 6 pm! I learned my lesson to speak up so I answered her and told her this, "If you don't want noise or any disturbance, why won't you live in a forest?" She keeps on shouting but then we didn't give a d*mn.

These are just some of the instances that I ever tolerated and I feel bad because I should not be doing that in the first place. Whenever we don't like something, speak up so you can be understood. If you don't want the behavior then do something to stop it, not to avoid it. If you would not, then don't be surprised with repeated behavior.

You deserve what you tolerate.

Thanks for reading! Sorry for the unorganized thoughts for I am not feeling well today and my head is somewhat heavy. I can't think of something beautiful to write. 😁

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Ciao! ❤️