Tipping on Read.Cash - Humor

Read.cash has 74,249 users as of this writing. Most are greedy little cheapskates who don't tip the writers on this unique platform. How many tips did you receive this past week on read.cash? Zero? Zip? Nada? Enough to put 0.00000001 percent down on layaway for a day-old cheeseburger?

Maybe it was somewhere in between all these scenarios, but I doubt it like China doubts the Three Gorges Dam will burst. It's also possible that a skinflint dropped by your article with a three word comment looking for a handout.

If you look at the stats, (right to the left of write at the top of the page) read.cash lists the top 200 tippers out of all of its users. @MarkDeMesel leads the pack with a sweet as lemon meringue pie #2810.00, while the 200th rated user came in with a paltry $2.20. It appears to me that you can't drive an eight-penny nail up the butt of 74,049 users with a ten-pound sledgehammer!

Tips

Most of the world's consumers do tip their waitresses, waiters and delivery drivers.

But there are those who don't. They have their legitimate reasons, like an alien invasion in their neighborhood, they need the extra money because they only make $1,218.72 a week, Christmas is coming in 212 days, and the wife and the two girlfriends are pregnant. That last one is a horrible thing to say! Really?

No tips

There are 10 countries in the world where tipping is not necessary. Why is that? Because they know their citizens are penny-pinching sloths who don't tip, so they tack on 10% to the check automatically. Europe has 7 of them, Asia has 3.

And then there is #China and #read.cash.

If Mark Twain would have lived and been on read.cash today, and tried to make a living here with his exceptional writing skills, he likely would have switched vocations and become a beggar.

But you don't tip.

Who doesn't tip and why you should

Did you stop reading right there?

Find yourself in any one of those categories? The inner-Scrooge affects all colors, genders and socioeconomic statuses. Cro-Magnon man there on the bottom right only tipped with his wooden spear, but hey, there's that.

The most likely tippers fall into the following categories:

• Men

• Conservatives

• Baby boomers

• Anybody who tips with a credit or debit card

• God

That kind of narrows it down.

The people that don't tip?

• Women

• Gen Z

• Millennials

• Europeans

• Satan

• Humphrey Bogart

But you should tip writers on read.cash and here's why: Your food is not cold and there's no fly in your soup.

Like waitresses and waiters, decent writers bust their buns to bring you good content.

C'mon, man (woman)! Don't be a stiff. Open up that purse string or sack of gold dust and sprinkle some #BCH love.

By now you should be either amused, angry or motivated to tip writers. If the above-mentioned reverse psychology does not work for you, there is no hope of life in another universe.

And if we all wind up going to prison for being crypto users...

I at least hope they separate us by the tips we gave; I wanna eat.