I only have a few days to prepare for my graduation. I don't know what to feel actually. I'm experiencing mixed emotions right now because I'm thinking something;
What will my life be like in college?
Well, no one can answer this question right now. Only I and my actions on the path I will tread will be the only answer to this question of mine. To be honest, even though the course I took was related to my talent, interest, I am still not sure about my future. I would rather invest in crypto-games and grind in doing articles and blogs than work and socialize with other people. My dream is to be a teacher and teach children but something is still troubling my mind.
If I become a teacher, will I find happiness? What if I just shift to engineering or architecture?
When I was young I dreamed of becoming an architect and engineer because of my ability to draw and vast creativity in building things but as I got older I realized that I wouldn’t be happy when I got older. My weakness is mathematics. I can solve and I can learn if I study math lessons but I already gave up on this matter. I am weak in mathematics because I have no passion for solving and analyzing math problems. I knew it since before and about my dream of becoming an engineer and architect? I already gave it up.
"Find yourself and put in what will make you happy."
Ever since I entered senior high school, I have found myself in public speaking. Even if I shiver sometimes when I hold the microphone, even if I lose my mind when nervous came, even if I get nervous sometimes, even if I experienced being embarrassed in front of the audience before, even if I crouch down, I know that public speaking is one on my edge. Many believed in the power of the voice and they say that I was good at presenting in front. I also found myself in reporting, presenting, and being a leader on tasks- whether small or large. My creativity has also helped my life in senior high school. Aside from public speaking, my creativity has also helped me develop concepts and create ideas that they praised sometimes. But not just praise and applause that made my senior high school more memorable.
Have you ever tried to cry because you felt alone?
Aside from the applause and praise, criticism was also one of the ones I received. Sometimes I wonder, “Am I really over introducing myself?”, Well, I think I'm not. First of all, my teachers noticed my talent because they have known me since I was in junior high school. They already know a “Jerome Ian” who paints and directs other art-related projects. They also know that I'm from the Special Program In The Arts of which I am a Visual Artist. What do you think? Am I overreacting?
As the months of being a Humanista goes by, I realized that you don’t have to prove anything to others, as long as you have a voice and you know you haven’t stepped on anyone and done anything wrong, you can speak along the line. There's always a time for speaking and of course, there is also time for listening. You must know how to read a room.
But you know what? I also got to the point that I got tired of being a student. I thought I would experience it in college but I experienced it in my senior high school life. I feel so exhausted because I forced myself.
"Why am I thinking like this? It's just practice for college, isn't it?"
Until now, many things have been going through my mind, including personal problems and family problems, but only one thing I am sure of is that I will finish school to help my family. Especially now that I have passed and been allowed to study in one of the largest and prestigious schools in the country.
Do you know who that is?
He is Jerome Ian. He will graduate next week and will receive a diploma proving that he has fully finished his senior high school. That man went through a lot but he was brave to help his family. He will be a full-fledged art and music teacher one day. Actually, their class will start in August, he will be a college student soon. He survived Elementary, Secondary, Grade 11, and Grade 12 with awards and medals, so I believe he will also finish the Bachelor of Culture and Arts Education course he took. I hope he knows himself too.
Author's note:
I haven't been able to publish these past few days because I have more important things to do. Anyway, I’m still not sure what I’ll receive on July 16, which is when it will be announced that we will graduate from senior high school but I’m happy with what I have. I'm doing this not for my self but for my family. All of these are for our future. Thank you for reading and always supporting my works. It means a lot to me.
You can read my previous articles here:
Art Techniques: Unusual Things That I Use To Create A Masterpiece
My Goals And Wishes For The Month Of July.
I Failed On My First Try But I Succeeded On My Second Try.
Remembering Him is Remembering the Memories We Made Together.
It's okay to think of you will be happy in your chosen path or not, lalo na kung nasa first year ka pa lang naman. Karamihan naman kasi ganyan, but not me. Desidido kasi ako sa course ko ever since SHS pa lang. Habang tumatagal is di mo naman na mamamalayan na sinasabi mo na sa isip mo na "ito na yun."
Public speaking? It really do help me a lot. I was our teacher's favorite student (di ko alam kung matutuwa ba ako dito o hindi 🤣) na palaging inaassign as a leader sa mga reporting and any activities na related sa pagsasalita sa harapan. 'Nung una nahihiya pa ako pero sa loob ng halos tatlong taon na puro ganito? Nasanay din ako. Kaya naman di na ako nagugulat or gaanong kinakabahan (well, kinakabahan pa din ako ah 🤣)kapag nagsasalita sa klase nung nagcollege na ako.
Wag mo lang kalimutan na i-enjoy yung college life mo. Oo, nakakapagod, nakaka-stress, at nakaka-drain talaga pero i-enjoy mo lang. Kasi dito na talaga tayo maggo-grow nang lalo. :)
Sorry sa pagnonobena ko. 🤣 Btw, congratulation on your upcoming graduation and good luck to another journey of learning and being a student. :)