Have you ever been tired?

Have you ever been tired?

As in very tired, like almost giving up!

Laying here in my bed, doing nothing, but remembering memories

You know, sometimes we are just tired right? Have you ever experienced that? Like hmmm I feel like I'm dead, no energy above all I prefer to sleep the whole day. Rainy season added, now I'm totally tired! Feeling cold. Tired to cook, to clean the house, to answer my modules and tired to take a bath. Haha believe it or noth, I am not in a mood to take a shower when it's cold, aren't you? Haha

Now to tell you the truth I been here in my bed since yesterday, laying and done nothing, like I'm a useless. I don't know I just felt so tired today. Hmmm maybe I am physically tired, thus I am emotionally tired too.

I don't know why, but the last time I stalked my ex on her Facebook account, I found out that she's happy, living a happy life with the girl I am jealous before, and before she promised she will never get any closer to that girl, really how painful promises could be in the end of our chapter. Like I just realized, that all of her promises were jokes and doesn't mean anything to her, or me, now I ask myself, what if we didn't end our relationship? Nahhh now I am really mad looking at her with that girl. And so I am tired..

I am tired being in a relationship where full of lies, full of fake voice, fake care, fake love. Fake it!

I made my photoshoot yesterday morning, after that I am tired, I have my duty last night and now I am tired, I feel like my whole body is in favor of me being sad. Why?

Have I already moved on? Or Still having this feeling for her and wait for her to come back? But I have my boyfriend now, I am happy, yes! I am really happy with my mew boyfriend, but whenever I saw my ex post, I am drained again, have you ever been in a relationship situation where you need to stop because its too much painful, and many people were affected and already give you the advice to stop and if you won't they will get disappoint? Like someone who keeps telling you to move on, and you said yes I will but later on you had back your relationship.

I've been there, I have this male friends, they give advice not just once, twice, nor trice, but till the end they're still with me, but the last time they check on me was the most painful part, I had to choose between them or to my ex. I hate losing and I don't want to lose them, I don't want it anymore, I don't want anyone is awkward to me or having a bad mood because of me. That moment was when meb rejected the chance I offered. She asked for that chance but sadly in the she refused, one main reason is that she saw that I enjoy being with my friends, is that wrong? Thus hanging out with them forbidden? No that's not fair anymore.

Especially in my broken days, before I am not used to go outside, calling for a friend, have some foods, shots or any trips, so I never had the chance to give myself a reason to smile because I just stayed home do nothing, waiting for her text, unlike today, I met a lot of friends, they make me happy, and they were happy with the decision I made. I am happy too, but yesterday, I don't know why, but when I saw her, my tears were flowing, my eyes turned red and I feel the pain again. I did cry for minutes, I let myself express the pain I am feeling, and then manage to smile again.

Am I really okay?

I am happy now, but what's the point of getting hurt? Maybe because we ended our relationship not in a good way, or maybe because we never had a closure? Or maybe she's still thinking of me too, or maybe I haven't moved on yet?

But I am happy, I am. Hays! I can never really say my point but whenever I saw her smile, it makes me sad. That's it, I don't have any intentions pf getting her back because I already have my man.

Maybe I should stop from stalking right? Hmmm I should. And maybe I just need to show that I am happy too, that I am also living a happy life .

Would that be enough?

This is not a revenge, I just don't want myself to get hurt with the same person again, and so if ever this could be the reason for me to be able to not get hurt anymore, then I should do things would make it better.

Just tired. Tired of getting hurt.

What about you, are you tired because of?

Sorry for this short post, just like I said, I am feeling tired..

Hello dear sponsors, how are you guys doing, hope you are all okay. Have a great day!