You're not scared of making friends

Today was a somewhat busy day for me, I was arranging the things I needed to take back to school. As I mentioned in my article yesterday, I went home to my parents to collect foodstuffs from them coz I already exhausted the ones I took to my field practical training which ended recently.

I initially planned on staying back home for 2 or 3 days, but I remembered it tends to get very boring since I will be the only one left at home on weekdays, so I decided to just come back to the university today. While I was relaxing in the morning, a friend of mine called and said she was bored at home, that she is there alone.

I told her I would have come over but I am not around the school environment, so I advised her to go out and maybe visit her friends, then she said she doesn't have any friends (at this point I was like; so what am I? 😆). Then she later said that most of her friends are in other cities, so I said she can make new friends but she replied with; "I am scared".

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I thought about what she said, then I told her; "you're not scared of making friends, you're scared of getting hurt". She paused and pondered about it, then said; "I think you're right" (of course I am right 😅). It might be from past experiences but people tend to build up walls to protect themselves from getting hurt by friends.

Most of the time, we might think we are afraid of a certain thing but it turns out our fear arises because of something else. Take for example, most people will say they are scared of being alone in the dark, but what they actually fear is finding out they aren't really alone in the dark.

One minute into staying in the dark and your brain starts playing tricks on you, shadows start to look real and you start getting a feeling of someone (or something) watching you, that's what brings up the fear.

I saw a quote some years back; "you're not scared of saying I love you, you're scared of the response", isn't that right? Of course it is. Before a person says I love you, they are already thinking; "what if she doesn't feel the same way?", "What if he laughs at me?", That's the real source of the fear.

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Seeking new friends tends to scare a lot of people, most people will prefer to be on their own in a bid to prevent disappointments and betrayal from the people they call friends, especially when they have been hurt in the past. This is the reason why I will advise anybody not to trust anyone completely, humans are very complicated.

The fact that someone is always talking with you and both of you have fun together doesn't mean they are your friend, most people are extra careful of who they label as friends these days. I relate well with a lot of my classmates but does that mean they are all my friends? Of course not! 😃

A friend is a person with whom you have a bond of mutual affection, but sometimes that bond isn't always mutual and it tends to be one-sided. There are a lot of parasitic friends out there who are only with you because of the benefits they are getting and when they have finally milked you dry, they abandon you.

I am always on the lookout for "friends" with such parasitic traits and I immediately cut them off when I notice it, it's better to cut off the head of the snake while it's still a baby than to allow it to grow, it might end up biting you when you least expect one day.

I will like to round up this article by asking the ladies this question; Do you prefer having male friends to female friends? My friend mentioned today that she prefers having male friends and a lot of ladies have also told me the same thing in the past, and what was their reason? Because females have too many problems 😆 is it the same thing for you or do you have other reasons?

Thanks for reading 💖💖💖

Monday January 24th, 2022