Have y'all read the book titled "The subtle art of not giving a f*ck"? It's a book by Mark Manson and I have had it on my phone for over 3 months but I have been reluctant to read it. I actually read it a bit when I downloaded it but I found it boring so I stopped, but I recently started reading it again and it's starting to get interesting.
I got to a part that talked about the backwards law by philosopher Alan Watts and it states:
The idea that the more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become, as pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place.
This simply means that the more you desperately want something, the more unsatisfied you become when you get it. The more you desperately want to be rich, the more poor and unworthy you will feel no matter how much money you have made, the more you desperately want to be sexy, the more you feel uglier regardless of how you currently look, I hope you get the picture now?
It might sound off the first time you read it but if you actually think about it, it is true. It's a known fact that human wants are insatiable which means that we can never be satisfied with what we get and we will always want more. It's not surprising to see a rich man trying so hard to make more money even when it looks like he has more than enough.
It even gets worse for someone trying desperately to be sexy and desired, they go to all lengths to modify their bodies to feel wanted but it is never enough and they keep doing it until they look very ridiculous. I have come across several posts talking about a person doing several surgeries just to look more pretty, and after every surgery, she's still not satisfied.
Some end up losing their life, just like Popular Instagram model Kristyna Martelli who died after having a seizure while undergoing more surgery. Some like Linda Evangelista are left deformed after going through those cosmetics procedures, and you just gotta ask; to what end?
The backwards law exists in all aspects of our life, including in matters of happiness and love. The more you're desperate to be loved and happy, the more you feel lonely and sad. Sounds weird, right? Desperation makes us overthink and it hinders us from trying to enjoy the process, that's because we are more focused on getting to the end.
And what happens when we get to the end? We discover the journey has just started and we become more desperate to get to the end (again!) And then it becomes an endless loop of desperation and the final destination which doesn't seem to be coming, and we are left frustrated and depressed in the long run.
A person who's desperate for love will become a simp who is ready to do anything just to feel wanted. According to Wikipedia Simp is an internet slang term describing someone who shows excessive sympathy and attention toward another person, typically someone who does not reciprocate the same feelings, in pursuit of affection or a sexual relationship.
The person keeps desperately trying to get the affection of the other and even when they finally get it, they are still desperate to keep the person and make sure they are loved. They feel insecure about any little thing and they are always afraid of a possible breakup which they may help usher in with their constant insecurity and assumptions, and at the end what do they get? Heartbreak and depression.
Does this mean we shouldn't strive for a better life? Of course, you should but just like every other thing in this life, it becomes toxic if done in excess. So, what should we do instead? Balance, the answer is balance. Learn to strike a balance in all things you do. Yes, it's ok to want money, love, beauty, and other things, but don't let it turn into desperation so that your desires don't consume you, learn to take things in moderation and enjoy the process of getting to the end.
For those who will like the PDF version of the book, download it from here: The subtle art of not giving a f*ck. The download button is located at the top right corner of the page.
Special thanks to @BCH_LOVER for her sponsorship renewal, I am very grateful to you ma'am 😊
Thanks for reading 💖💖💖
Saturday April 30, 2022
I'm definitely trying it out .. the book looks loaded