“Who Should Love First?”

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Avatar for King_Gozie
2 years ago

This comes down to who should pay on the first dinner date?” Who should help out in chores?” Can both parties switch jobs and still be fine?” Who should make certain sacrifices for the other?” Would you want your man or your woman to provide and as well manage the household?” Do you feel like you grind a lot and you get upset that your partner isn’t doing the same thing you do or as much energy you put into what you do?”

This isn’t a matter of who is loving the more or who is doing much better than the other but a complete understanding, you could be doing what you do and be comfortable with it… That's just how it’s supposed to be and it’s either you accept it or be different, meanwhile if you swapped jobs I’m sure nobody will tell you to rethink before doing that.. Let’s get things straight, a woman who takes care of the house and tells you not to do anything at all will you still hate on her and probably even work again with all of that.. These are things that ruin a relationship, you should see your partner as someone that still does a lot just as you do.

That may sound wrong to some of us here, but you feel you’re doing the most and maybe he or she doesn’t love you to show that balance… maybe this title is all up in my head, I know of a man who works like crazy on a daily basis and anytime he comes back home and his wife tells him to help out with some chores a flares up immediately and sometimes lashing out curses but unknown to him that his wife works more hours than he does.. 3 hours more difference precisely and that’s quite a lot..

I think communication would have solved a lot of things, and it went on for weeks up until he realized that he wasn’t even doing all the hard work himself that his wife was also a solid back bone to the home.. Love shouldn’t be based on the number of work you do and that means you show more affection, that mindset though. We should all see ourselves as people who wants the best for each other and if time permits do some additional things to what was already built..

This isn’t just about job difference’s, it spreads across to other things.. the best solution and way out is to find the real cause of the argument or quarrel and put yourself in that situation “what would you do?”..

Back to the dinner date, this is the era when ladies can earn even much more than men would and nothing stops either parties from doing what’s right.. although there’s a clause you can still split the bill and everyone is happy.. is not like he buys you a whole lot and you don’t seem to contribute to anything, or she spends on you and you don’t reciprocate even though little..

“what’s your take in this?”

We must see things differently and not just on one direction cause that’s when we act blindly towards the people that mean a lot to us.. observe before you react and then mend if you’ve acted wrongly..

One thing we must not do is listen to peoples wrong suggestions, they will come like they want to help but only make things worse than it is.. nothing stops the men from assisting their ladies and nothing stops the ladies from helping out as well..

Can both of you switch jobs and it’s all good?”

You know what will end this and will it be nice if you do that?” That’s a question you must ask yourself, it’s nobody’s fault that you feel you work harder but you overthink every single thing… if you feel you need to talk anybody, feel free to because acts like this only makes the union less stronger… Maybe take it on for 24hours nothing will tell you to drop the feeling and when you must have washed some kids clothings and maybe some of your woman’s attire your mood will change…

This is where I will stop for now, if this was misleading sorry to get you upset.. I love you all and want things to get better..

Thank you for reading…

December 2021

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Avatar for King_Gozie
2 years ago

Comments

One of your passage says about a man who lashes on his wife because she asked him to help her....

This is basically the whole damn Indian men explained in a simple paragraph... at least most of them are like this.. I have never ever seen a man of the house help their wives without the wife requesting or begging him... even after begging, there are quiet a 90% of them who simply say "I have already worked enough in office, this is a woman's job.." like wth, at least you have timings dude, women work constantly in their houses from dusk to dawn and it's crazy how it drains them but the family never appreciates their help... I find it so ridiculous.. Moms have to teach their boys from young age that they need to learn basic chores and household work is NOT gender based but they are survival skills..

$ 0.02
2 years ago

It’s a constant thing now and when men are always driving towards one path it’s so difficult to change it. It’s even worse here as well, and only a few of the population will understand this.. Women also assists and this shouldn’t be an issue on who shows more effort than the other..

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Relationship is just too complicated and.who should.love first is just the matter of mind. No matter what happens in a relationship, all.what I can see is just trust. When there is trust them there can be able to be a very solid relationship.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

That’s right sir.. there has to be trust and that’s the foundation of any relationship.. truly it’s complicated and any slight alteration can cause a huge problem. We have to careful how we respond to issues of the heart.. thank you

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Love is a give and take relationship. I belong to those who doesn't agree that it is supposed the man who will pay the bills on dates. For me they could divide the bills or whoever can afford to pay We been like this since my husband and I are still in boyfriend and girlfriend stage. The same my stand on switching jobs. My sister even let his husband resigned to his work just to take care their child before. The reason? My sister's income is greater than his husband. This was never an issue to them .

$ 0.05
2 years ago

I love your description and truly it’s not about who pays but when there’s college understanding. She was able to create a dialogue and it favored the condition which I love so much. Many people wouldn’t get this, it’s never anyone’s duty to take on full responsibility.. marriage is between two people and not one.

Thank you Lhes..

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Honestly, the most important thing is love. Love makes everything easy. What I mean is since love is sacrifice, who is picking up the bill won’t be an issue. Love is also understanding meaning decisions of who’s switching jobs and all that won’t also be an issue.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

There just needs to be a clear understanding between both partners and communication when things are not right because nowadays some men do house chores and cook you know but some people might feel due to the culture in their country its not meant to he that way. Its just simple the wife and husband should agree on how they want to run things at home.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Very true dear.. it should be an agreement between the man and the woman on how things should be done… just like someone said in the comment section, whether it is a change in job of the two if there’s understanding it will still work out.. thank you Pricilla

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Love and understanding matters in a relationship and things would go smoothly if they both understand each other even if one has to switch job.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Exactly.. there must be understanding, because this is where the serious problem is and it will get intense from there.. but switching jobs will be hilarious 😂 I won’t survive for one day.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Life's too short to keep on thinking who should pay, who's responsible, or who should love first. It doesn't matter, if two people are in love they will not think about it. We should all love like there's no tomorrow. Love is a precious thing just to get wasted.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Exactly, that shouldn’t be the problem at all if truly love exists… I love your contribution so much.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

In a y relationship I think what matters most is love . The two partners must really love themselves. For me we should all see ourselves has the best an important thing in any relationship 😉. Nice meeting you

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Thank you… this is a lovely comment Rosh.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

We guess we need communication as much as we need a complete understanding in the things we do and never to rely soley on who's the best and who's not

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Anyone coming together must fully be ready to communicate issues concerning this.. and there should be excitement on what both has to offer and not a competition ground..

$ 0.00
2 years ago

In every aspect of our human existence, be it a relationship or not, communication is very vital if we must be able to solve what ever problem we deem fit

$ 0.01
2 years ago

That’s right, communication is very important and that’s how we win every phase or every problem..

$ 0.00
2 years ago

For me, If I am in a relationship all will be equal. You two must pay for the dinner date, so that if we break , no regrets at the end. Hehe 🤗

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hahaha that’s quite alright… it’s good to be ready against all odds. 😅😅

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yes so much agree with you

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Even when we know the truth about being a support to each other, we are just few that are really practicing Balancing in relationship or marriage. I don't know ooo but I think some things have been cultured in our brain already to see some demands, activities at home as 'manly' and 'womanly'. They said husband is the head of the house, therefore he must play the role of the head in major areas. But just like I said, just few people are letting these not to work in their home

$ 0.00
2 years ago

The mentality has been registered in our minds that it should be one sided, which I don’t see any fault in supporting each other.. seriously it goes beyond every imprints, we should be more concerned about interests of the people we love..

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yes in any kind of relationship communication is important if you want to know and understand the person more... In the case of whose paying what... I think it is only right to split the bill no matter whose earning bigger

$ 0.03
2 years ago

We must know each other’s strength first before making conclusions and that could work in splitting bills as well… there must be understanding

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I feel in any relationship, there should be an understanding between both the man and the woman. No one is meant to give too much. There should be balance.

They should both sacrifice and help each other.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

That’s right, there have to be balance at least sharing bills shouldn’t be a problem and if it’s going to be one sided then communication is important, so that the other party doesn’t feel too unimportant.. I agree with you Gideon

$ 0.00
2 years ago

In fact, a relationship is very soft. Especially love relationships. We need to be more sensitive to such relationships. The answer to this question is not clear to me. But I like your opinion.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

I wish I could go deeper, maybe further draft will answer to a few of them.. thank you dear

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I must say King gozie you hold quite a lot of wisdom in terms of ''love" I've noticed you write so many beautiful things about love and related topics.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Hehe I try a little bit yo diversify and maybe I love that aspect a lot 😅😅 thank you

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Relationship are kinda difficult to handle, I mean when both don't know how to treat the other or even don't know how to manage when one is angry. Relationship is quite challenging but about who should first is not a question nor a problem. As long as both have trust and love.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Very true, that shouldn’t be hell bent on who’s love is superior, but a joint effort to maintain it.. it’s so challenging especially when you get to this point of making some honest decisions.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Indeed, it's all about love and communication. For me, I prefer to have a partner who have a stable job; on the other hand, I also don't want to build a family if I don't have stable income.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

I really don’t want to start without a solid background coz it goes a long way in homes.. and also love and communication should never be missing

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2 years ago