What is life after all?
All the rush………to build chains of businesses, to be known as the richest man/woman, to climb the highest ladder of our careers, to ultimately be successful……..is all for what? Be buried 6fts under the ground?
What’s the guarantee that all our successes account for anything? If there’s an afterlife, would we need the tales of how successful we were during our time here? Does our position/reputation matter where we are all going to?
Recycled matter that’s all our qualifications, riches, poverty, status, need I say even belief is reduced to. That’s all we end up becoming, a bunch of recycled matter, back at the bottom of the food chain.
If this is all we end up being reduced to, why are we fighting each other?, why is it so difficult for us to live in love? Why is there so much hate around? Why are you not your brother’s keeper?
Vanity upon Vanity, all is Vanity says the good old book. Life itself is but a single breath.
Today I remember how a beautiful soul with a very promising future who had already figured out what she wanted to do with her life and had already set plans in motion, lost to the cold hands of death in a road traffic accident. The precious breathe given to her has been withdrawn and she has gone to be with her maker.
Need I talk about the dead man I saw lying on the street a while back, on my way to work. He laid there helpless, lifeless, unable to complain about the cold… his left was some few meters away from his body, I wonder what led to his death.
What about the incessant kidnapping stories flying around and thriving each day. An innocent girl goes to party with her friends, the next thing she finds herself begging for her live. Her captors do not listen, they plunge at her with sharp knives and start stabbing her till she’s dead, after which they proceed to decimating her body, all the while one of her captors records everything on camera and post it without fear of being captured on the internet. The state of lawlessness in the land😩🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
Or is it the poor entrepreneur, who got a cooking job at a private residence, on getting there her host attempts to drug her and use her for God knows what, she only escaped by God’s grace.
These past few days I’ve spent it asking myself what exactly this life is over and over again. Do I need to keep trying to be successful? Do I need to keep chasing riches? What exactly do I need to do even though I know that my breathe can be abruptly ceased one day, and the joy that I bring to everyone around me can turn to sorrow and mourning in the blink of an eye.
I’ve stayed off social media for a while, because honestly I’ve been depressed and confused. In all my rumination, guess what I found out. Life is too damn short, make every day memorable. Hence I’ve decided to stop sulking, but keep enjoying the beauty of life day after day, and to keep being grateful for the breath of life.
Thanks for reading
Lots of love ❤️
Promise; The biggest debt to ever owe
There’s an old saying: “***You have made a promise in the presence of God, your friends and yourself. Honor that promise and keep your word.”***
In a world where it is easy to give up on our pledges, a promise matters. A promise is a huge debt. Every word we utter is a promise. Every word we write is a promise. Every word we type online is a promise. Every single word we do is a promise.
It is a debt we collect from our egos as soon as they are born. If we do nothing with our lives, if we don't do something remarkable and unprecedented, then our lives were a complete failure. A promise made to the self is one used to hold oneself accountable. Promises drives us to strive and achieve; it pushes us past mediocrity and into greatness.
We become better versions of ourselves by doing everything we can to make ourselves better. Don't make idle promises to yourself or others; keep your word. Be accountable for everything you say and do. This is a promise from which you cannot return from. This is a promise that will be kept and one that you will be judged by in the end. So, what is this promise? This promise is about living a life that you feel good about, that you have no regrets about and that you feel was worth it when all is said and done.
Permit me to keep stressing that a promise is a huge debt. Promises don’t come easy but as long as both sides keep to their words and fulfill their duties, the future will be brighter.
“Never promise what you won’t do”. Whatever you promise – you have to deliver. If you can’t deliver – then don’t promise it in the first place. You’re setting yourself up for trouble if you do.
Don’t be like the politicians, who come sway people into voting for them by promising things they won’t do. Some of them would even go as far as sharing plans on how they would implement these promises they have made, just to convince people into voting time and yet they develop amnesia or cook up one lie or the other when it’s time to deliver.
When I see supposedly married men chasing after younger/other females, my heart sinks. I want to scream at them to remember the marital vows they made to their wives, both in secret and openly in front of their family and friends……. “In sickness and in health, In riches or poverty, For better for worse, In the good and bad times………till death do us part”. Such powerful promises which they are quick to cast aside like dirty plates, my heart sinks and I keep wondering what happened to us. How did we become a generation who can’t keep promises.
Samuel Butler once said “Promises are like babies. They take a lot of doing.”
Here are some little life transforming promises we can make to ourselves and start doing every day which would make us a better person.
Promise to **Stretch** - Make it a point to try to exercise at least once a day.
Promise to **Be Nice** - It’s okay to say no sometimes, it doesn’t make you a bad person. It just means you’re being considerate.
Promise to **Be Curious** - Take time to ask questions and expand your own knowledge.
Promise to **Believe** - Believe in yourself and your ideas.
Promise to **Dare To Be Different** - Be an original, not a copycat.
Promise to make an **Impact** - Try to make the world better today than it was yesterday; make tomorrow better than today.
Thanks for reading, have a good day 💋💋
Money; Do you really need it?
Money is a very important factor in life. Money can be defined in many ways — my money, your money and their money. Though we all need to define our own money, the main question here is:
**Do we really need money?**
Money gives us the freedom to do what we want, but it also limits us to do what we need sometimes. We all have dreams of multiple houses, cars and expensive clothes and just think about the best travel experiences. But is that all there is? I went a little further than that and asked myself, “If everything were possible, would I be happy without any money?” I guess there’s no right or wrong answer to that.
I do agree that money can buy happiness, but it also can break happiness. It all depends on how you think about it. And that’s what makes it so hard to figure out.
Money has a lot of meanings. To some it’s just a legal tender to others it’s total happiness. I think Money is an idea . It is a concept created by society that represents value. Money has little to no intrinsic value. Despite this, money performs a vital function in our society and often holds a special place in our hearts. Sadly, the current financial system is not working for the majority of the population. Millions of people around the world live in debt because they have too much money. Millions more make less than they deserve because they have no money. No system can be perfect, but it is possible to create one that works better than the current one.
Money has the following key attributes:
Portability: Money can easily be carried from place to place and stored for future use.
Divisibility: The smallest unit of money is easily divided into different values.
Acceptability: Money is widely accepted in most locations as payment for goods and services because people trust in its value.
Money has many uses, but it isn’t as good as a person’s time. No material goods can compare to the satisfaction we get from helping others in our communities. Money is very useful however and can open doors that would otherwise be closed to us and can help us achieve goals we might not otherwise achieve.
The combination of money, people and knowledge is what drives innovation and progress in our world. As a result, we should be thankful to have this powerful tool at our disposal.
Money is the root of all evil. It makes people do things they normally wouldn't do. It has power over us and we give it way too much value. Many things in life are more important than money such as happiness, self-confidence, supporting others, love, self-worth, doing what you love and helping others.
When someone asks you "how much do you make?" And when you don't answer the question the reaction is either: 1) the person avoids you and ignores you from that moment on or 2) You become a target for being cheap or not having enough money to spend on them.
****NOTE WORTHY FACTS****
It is about time we all change our mindset about money and start focusing on other important things in life. If we did that maybe we would be happier and wealthier than ever before.
Follow your passion: The money will follow if you do what you love. The amount of money you make will never define you.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help: You can’t achieve your dreams without a little help from your friends and no man is an island. Don’t worry about asking people for help, what you don’t know, someone else does.
Clothes are just clothes: The price tag does not define whether or not something is worth wearing. Your wardrobe should be filled with things you love and nothing more. Just because you paid $300 for a shirt doesn’t mean it matches anything in your closet and that’s okay.
Detach yourself from the material things: As children we are taught that materialism is good and we should fight to get what we want. We are taught that it is normal to want nice things but I want to encourage everyone to let go of those thoughts.
*****Closing remarks*****
As much as we think we would all be the happiest versions of ourselves with so much money, let’s not also forget that having so much money could make us the most miserable versions of ourselves. Don’t go all crazy about money, as many go to the extent of engaging in evil vices just to acquire lots of money and in the end they lose sight of what’s most important, and the money becomes worthless and acts as a source of pain for them. Remember, money can’t buy everything. My wish for a happy and satisfied life is to live comfortably with my family, having not little or too much money but the right amount that is needed to sustain and satisfy our needs.
Hence the next time you bring out your note pad and attempt to write “*Make lots of money this year”* as your new year resolution, ask yourself “*Do I really need money”?*
2022, Let’s set the ball rolling
It’s day 2 of the New Year, 363 more days to go. I want to say Happy New year to us all, good health, settled finances, and all round success are ours to claim in this new year.
As with many of us are accustomed to, don’t feel pressured to roll out so call new year’s resolutions. Take each day as it comes which is every moment at a time. If you have unfinished/unmet targets and goals from 2021, this next 365 days are your second chances at meeting them.
And if you are looking for things/areas to focus on developing and making better this year, I’d be shedding more light on areas I think are most important. I hope you can learn one or two things from me 😊.
**Areas to focus one’s attention on, in the new year**.
I need to insert a full disclaimer here.
*I do not know everything, I’m also human like you, who makes mistakes, but ultimately learns from them. I’m just going to be pinpointing few areas, my very little life experience has showed me matters a lot and should be paid cognizant attention.*
Now that that’s out of the way let’s get started.
1. ****Faith****
Our belief system acts as the foundation on how we live our life, it in a way influences the choices we make, and to an extent, a majority of our decisions rely on who and what we believe in. As Christians, you would notice that everything you do is centered around the word of God, which we call the Bible. We also believe that starting the new year must be with God. That’s why a special type of service called crossover service is organized at New Year’s Eve, where you have to pray into the new year. I’m a Christian, so pardon me if that’s the only faith I’m talking about, it’s actually the only faith I believe in.
You might be wondering why I chose faith at the number one to be focused on. It’s no news that what you believe in comes true 80% of the time, if you think positively, positive things would happen and this is because of something called the power of positivity.
In this new year, start with God. Commit your ways into his hands and he would direct your paths. Rest solely in his ability to help you at every step of the way and trust me, he would.
2. ****Finances****
This is an aspect we should really focus on, I’m also talking to myself here. Let all your spendings be calculated and tracked, whether you earn little or so much, you still need planning. A little budget friendly calculated spending would spoil your rich Aunty vibes neither would it stop you from looking peng this year. In fact it would make your slayonce game top notch.
Here’s an example. It’s something I learnt from reading this book titled “*Smart money woman”* by Árese Ugwu.
I use the 50/20/20/10 format, which means I spend 50% of what I make on food, transportation, tithe and every other thing necessary, 20% is for flexing/buying new personal items/chilling out with friends, another 20% is my fixed savings, I do not touch this at all, the last 10% is my emergency savings, when I need a quick fix/rescue I run to it. And that’s basically how I run my finances.
Investments are a great deal, when I need to invest I pull out of my fixed savings for it, and for now I do just little to no risk investments. The returns aren’t so huge but then my money is secured hence I’m fine. Just remember to do what works for you.
3. ****Relationship****
Be intentional about your relationships with people. Make new friends, keep old ones, be that friend you want to have as a friend to others. You see in that moment when you are down, sad, heartbroken, feeling dejected, it’s your friends that would be there to help you out of it.
Look at the story of Job, when life struck him hard and dealt him the blow of pain and sickness, it was his friends that stood by him, they cried with him and also encouraged him, that’s what friends are for. Also you know how your friends show up for you when you are in a fix? That’s what you get when you are intentional about the relationships you keep.
4. ****Health****
Good health can never be overrated, In all you do, make sure you never compromise on your health no matter what. Eat good food, exercise regularly, when you are sick go to the hospital, don’t self diagnose or self medicate yourself. I know they say Google is your friend, but please note that it isn’t your doctor. Get an health insurance plan for your self and your aged parents too so you don’t have to pay through your nose when you need medical attention.
Above all else, rest well too, this is very vital. Remember that company that looks like they can’t do without you hence makes you work around the clock, would hire someone else the moment you die.
5. ****Career****
What's life without having a fulfilled career. This new year is a time to get that degree you have always wanted, it’s a time to strive to be at the peak/highest level of your career. It’s another chance to strive to do excellently well at whatever it is. Go for gold, beyond the sky is your limit.
**Conclusion**.
I'll love to drop my pen here. I wish us all a wonderful and prosperous year. Year 2022 would be your best year yet. Thanks for taking out time to read, I do not take it for granted. Thanks to all my sponsors, I’ll keep getting better and better everyday.
All pictures used are from unsplash, big thumbs up to them.
Love you all always ❤️.
Humanity
In-spite of the thousands of bad news which makes us believe humanity is lost, I’m here to tell you that there’s still hope as good people still exist.
**The not so good sides**
There’s hardly any stranger you meet on the road today that would be willing to talk to you, especially in the town where I come from. Kidnapping, murder, mugging and robberies seem to be the order of the day so everyone just keeps to themselves. These days I’m so scared to give out my money to beggars on the road as they have found a way to bastardize it. It’s either they are liars, pretending to have one issue or the order or they are fetish, looking for someone to manipulate and steal from.
I remember a story a friend told me some times back. She said she was young then, and was living in a particular village in Oyó State, when a self acclaimed wealthy group of people came visiting. They then told them about a business opportunity that would make them rich quick, the only thing was they would be relocated to Lagos as that’s the only place the business would really boom. If you are familiar with how villagers get excited to visit the city, then you’d understand how this friend of mine felt.
Free transportation to the city, and food while in Lagos was promised them. After a few days of their arrival in Lagos, they took them to a popular Bus station and told them to pretend to have one illness or the other and beg every passerby for money. When she questioned that this wasn’t what they told them they would have to do, the person in charge reprimanded her and said they needed to get capital first. Can you imagine??? How can one’s capital for a successful business venture rest solely on the amount of coins dropped in your plate. My friend gathered enough money to fund her trip back to the village and I’m so happy she did. Who knows what her life would have become if she remained there.
I’ve also heard of stories where females where promised successful life in big cities but instead they are trafficked into prostitution or other vices. Some are even killed or sold for money. That’s why it’s really hard to take favors from people. Especially when it looks too good to be true.
I also remember when you can just flag a car down on the highway to hitch a ride, but these days even some ride haling services where you pay for the service engage in kidnapping. Stealing and robberies are the order of the day. God save us 🙏🏾🙏🏾
**HOPE**
Good people are still very much alive. People who see the truth and stand for it, people who would never do what they won’t want other people do to them. People who are their brother’s keepers, people who are ready to help and defend the weak, poor and needy. I want to believe you and I belong to this category.
I was at the bus stop the other day, there were no buses and lot’s of people were waiting. The few buses available doubled their prices by more than 10 times the original price, because there was serious traffic which no one knew the cause of, on the way home. While I was struggling, waiting to jump into the next available bus, a car stopped ahead and beckoned on people to come, and he helped four of us to our destinations free of charge. I was shocked that there were people who would still do that.
I was discussing with my friend T, the other day and she narrated how she got stranded on her way home recently and was at the bus stop with a flat phone battery and no where in sight to charge. She eventually summoned up courage, walked up to a man and explained her plight to him. He assisted her without asking for anything in return, and she’s overly grateful to him.
I can keep writing out experiences I’ve had with very good people, all of which are memorable. I can also list almost the same amounts of bad experiences from fellow humans in times past. This brings me to a conclusion that we can’t do without the bad, so maybe we just need to tolerate it just a little bit. Life is filled with both the good and bad, deal with it.
CONCLUSION
We should never stop doing good because everyone else around us is doing bad things. Keep at that good you are doing, you’d sure be rewarded for it. Don’t blame those doing bad, we need both the good and bad to balance life, just like the Yin Yang symbol.
Thank you for taking time out to read my article. A special thanks to my sponsor @James2k21 , you are the best. Apologies for my disappearance lately, I was facing some mental issues. I’m okay now, I’ve found my balance. All my images were gotten from unsplash a big shoutout to them.
Kisses to everyone 💋 💋
Year in review
It’s Christmas Eve, I’m looking forward to having a fun Christmas celebration tomorrow. Year 2021 was a good one for me. I’ve grown, I’ve failed, I’ve succeeded, I’ve fallen and I have risen again. I’m so grateful to God for the strength he has given me. I conquered a lot of feats this year and I’m so excited to conquer lots more in years to come.
At this time last year I had cashed out my investments from Racksterling, a popular Ponzi scheme that was trending in 2019. I was living in Ibadan at that time, most of my neighbors were students. The male one’s were always talking about how much they had gotten as return on investment (ROI) after 30 days of investing their money on the platform.
This had gone on for more than 5 months and so in November 2019 I decided to invest my money. There were daily task that had to be carried out for which you’d get paid, and that’s how you get your money money back. Failure to complete any daily task means no payment for that day and that’s how you lose money. A very popular artist in Nigeria then also certified this Ponzi scheme which made a lot of people who had vowed never to join rescind their decision.
All the while my money was in it my heart was in my mouth hahaha 🤣. My friend kept taunting me each day and all I could do was pray. It was about this time, I can’t remember the exact date anymore but I know it was before Christmas that I withdrew my money.
Unfortunately for those who had later withdrawal date than mine, the platform crashed and their money was gone. The organizers tried resuscitating it a few times , claiming it was because they onboarded a lot of people, which we all know was a lie. All the epileptic attempts failed woefully.
During this period of resuscitation, a few people got their money back, while others threatened to sue the organizers. Honestly it ended in premium tears for quite a number of people. I’m grateful I didn’t allow greed push me to reinvest because I’d have cried blood hahaha 🤣.
The moral for sharing this story is to discourage everyone from getting involved in any Ponzi scheme whatsoever. Whatever investment you want to get into make sure you do a thorough research first before going in. Look before you leap.
Another experience I’m grateful for is getting out of sham job. I spent most of 2019 in Ibadan. In December while I was about leaving for Lagos, I got an email inviting me for a job somewhere at Ikeja. I showed it to a few of my friends because I was somewhat confused with it’s details. All of them convinced me to go and so I went, without knowing it was a scam.
I went for the so called interview and it turned out to be a somewhat conference, where they talked about how to make money just by joining them. The way they spoke it was as if the only thing stopping one from getting such huge amounts as income on a steady, was joining them.
They got me with personal development as at that time, I was really big on personal development. I was reading books and doing a lots of things to develop myself and so when they presented it as an avenue to develop oneself, I must confess I was charmed. After listening to the beautiful speech, we were told to pay. I didn’t also see this as a redflag, and I paid. It was a lot of money about $80. You know how you feel something isn’t right but you keep at it ignoring that intuitive 6th sense of yours, that was what happened to me.
After a few days, I was told we were to do an induction, it was during the induction that my heart broke. That was when I realized it was a product selling business, where people grew in rank by the number of products they sold and the number of people they introduced to the platform. Affiliate marketing was what it was called, you buy products and convince people they need it to be healthy. If you have heard of Neolife or GNLD then you know the story already. I’m just grateful to have been brought out of that.
After spending about 2 miserable months trying to get back my moneys worth from them, I got a job. I had always prayed for one in which I didn’t have to sit through rigorous interviews and that was what I got. It was something you could call a miracle 😊.
I’m grateful for all I’ve been through, most grateful to all the friends I’ve made on this platform and noise, I finally have a family which makes me feel loved and happy.
PS: I wrote this article on the 24th but I didn’t publish it because I wanted to include something else, then I forgot all about it.
Bye for now😘
Tried and Tired?
What do you do when you have tried all you can and you are tired? When you have tried all you could to solve a problem but you are nowhere near a solution? Or maybe you have tried all your possible best in pursuing a goal for a long time and it still keeps looking like you are nowhere near there. What do you do when giving up seems like the only reasonable solution in sight? When everyone around you tells you to stop chasing clouds and finally face the reality that you have failed. What do you when the only possible thing to do is embracing failure?
**FAILURE** 😞
Failure is an ugly word which brings with it the feeling of being inadequate. We have all been there before. It doesn’t matter whether it was at school, work or in your personal life, for anyone to have the courage to try, there is always a chance that failure will come knocking. However, as humans we are built for failure. Our brains have evolved such that we seek solutions to our problems and where possible we learn from our mistakes. It is this nature that ensures we do not go through life without experiencing failure several times over. To take that next step towards success therefore requires a shift in perspective and a deep understanding that failure is fundamental to the learning process. Failure therefore should be seen as a tool to propel and adequately prepare us for success, it is an opportunity to revitalize, revive and reinvent yourself.
**WHAT YOU SHOULD DO 🤔.**
**Pray 🙏**
Once I feel backed up to a corner the first thing I do is pray, for guidance and directions. Not to act or sound all spiritual, prayer makes me feel connected to God. Communicating with the Holy Spirit makes me feel like I’m getting advices from an elder aunt who loves and pampers me. If you are not someone who believes in praying, you could just talk to someone you trust because for me essentially, prayer is talking with and sharing my problems and things that bother me with an elder.
**Take a break** 🤪🥳
Just as the heading implies, just take a break. Go do things that are fun for you, things that bring you joy and uplift your spirit. Whatever it is, vacations, movies, food (for people like me, once I’m sad/depressed I turn to food, I call them comfort food 😂 ), games etc. Just indulge in things that would take your attention away from that present worry, once you come back you are refreshed and revived.
**Go back to your drawing board** 💪
After step one and two above, you should go back to your drawing board. Now you are back with fresh pair of eyes to view the situation, renewed and refreshed mind that’s ready to crush all the obstacles and barriers and lastly you are back with advices which are like the flashlight/pointers you need to identify those hidden obstacles which has been causing you to fail.
**CONCLUSION**
I will be concluding by sharing my story of a time I gave up when I was on the verge of achieving my target goal. It was a painful experience it still pains me till date, but I’ve learnt from it and I want you all to learn from me too.
While I was getting my 1st degree, I had a rocky start after which I promised myself that I would work on my grades and make sure I had the highest grade in my class. After much sacrifices, in the first year of my final year, I was tired, I’ve tried all my best but I was tired, that was when I knew that self motivation wasn’t easy. I decided to throw in the towel and stop being as serious as I was. Months after graduation, I was back at my department to say hi to a few of my lecturers and friends. Our course adviser was then introducing me to a couple of master’s students and said “She was almost our best graduating student” in one of his compliments, my heart pricked and I went to do my research where I found out that my grades were just a few points less than that of the best graduating student. I was heartbroken I still am, but I’ve learnt never to give up again as you just might be very close to your goal.
Thanks for reading!!!
A big thank you to my current and upcoming sponsors, much love from here ❤️, I promise to keep writing original and heart felt content only and to never let my ink dry.
On Becoming A Lady
You would agree with me that a girl child’s metamorphosis into adulthood is significantly different from that of the boy child. Different experiences culminated into sculpting every beautiful lady you see out there. I would be sharing personal experiences on how a girl child is molded into a fine young woman, based on true life experiences of myself and a couple of my other friends who have given me permission to write their stories. Come with me on the journey of becoming a lady.
**COURTESY**
In my tribe, culture says every female must kneel while greeting their elders. Why is this so? I have no idea. One day I went to the market with my mum, while in the very busy market we ran into a distant uncle who insisted that I kneel to greet him right in the middle of the road. I was so pissed and was ready to refuse to do that but my mum begged me with her eyes saying oblige. Eventually I knelt there to greet him.
Another one I find amusing is the not using left hand to give an elder something. What wrong has the left hand done to bring such punishment on me 🤣
I don’t believe in hypocritical cultures. Is respect synonymous with kneeling and prostrating? Definitely not. Is the right hand superior to the left? Certainly not.
**WALKING**.
Ned: Bukola come here.
Ned: Do you know how to catwalk?
Me: Yes I do. Squats on the floor and started meowing like a cat.
Ned: “laughing ” no joor that’s not it. Have you not been seeing those ladies in beauty pageants walk? Haven’t you noticed that they walk in a different way? That’s what is called cat walking. Let me teach you.
Ned: Put one foot in front of the other, now walk slowly, watch me, let’s do it together. Yes very good, you got it.
I can’t remember precisely how old I was at this encounter, I can make a guess that I was between age 8 and 10, because I remember been in primary 4 at that time. We lived in a flat that had a very big compound, in the evenings all the kids gathered to play. One one of those fateful days I learnt how to catwalk and trust me I kept practicing and practicing till I was good at it 🤣
**DRESS**.
Dress how you want to be addressed is a much bigger issue here in Nigeria especially amongst the Yoruba’s. I describe myself as bold and confident and being a goal getter. That is how I dress, my go to dress to portray that look is a neatly ironed palazzo trouser with a matching shirt or a jumpsuit with a sharp looking blazer. The lady I’ve become is strong and beautiful and so I portray that. Sometimes the urge to wear iwokuwo is so strong and let me confess I do that sometimes, does it reduce my worth definitely not. I am still me
**BODY**.
I remember watching a particular sitcom that was always aired at weekends. I can’t seem to remember the title anymore, but it was centered on just one family. On this particular episode the eldest daughter of the family was narrating her experience with a model scout while she was out. The scout had seen her and told her she had the perfect figure. When asked what he meant by that he responded that she had figure 8 and figure 8 was the perfect figure for a lady. Excitedly she told her mum she had accepted the proposal and was going into modeling full time. Clueless 8 year old me started praying from that day onwards that God gave me a perfect figure 8, and did God answer that prayer? I won’t tell you now 🤣
**CONCLUSION**
There’s a lot more I want to talk about but I want to stop here. The lady I’ve become is confident, daring, alluring, beautiful and allows herself to dream all she can, because she knows she can achieve all she sets her mind to do. She doesn’t allow anyone put her down, not even fear. She put’s so much trust in God because she knows that she’s nothing without him. She’s strong, confident and is on her A game! She’s a “grown and sexy” woman and I love her for that!
The lady I’ve become does not even try to please anyone other than herself. She takes pride in being who she is and also likes to wear things that makes her feel comfortable. She’s a go with the flow kind of lady who lives life to the fullest.
Who have you become?
Thanks for reading ❤️
Happy Sunday……. I hope you get all the energy you need to get pumped for the new week.
Bye for now.
You Come First
How do you know when to let go? Do you know when it’s finally time to leave that relationship or friendship? How do you know when it’s time to either jump out of a ship or get in a new one?
At a point in my life I decided not to be in any sort of relationships, it wasn’t because I didn’t have lots of “toasters” (I’m *a fine girl so I wasn’t lacking in that aspect 😃)* neither was it because I was forced to. As I shared in my previous article, I’m a Choleric individual, setting goal and meeting them is my main motivation in my approach to life. If I’m committed to something, I’d definitely have a goal/target set for such things. Anyways my reason was because I wanted to do fine academically. My first semester results were out and in my own standards I did poorly, so I decided relationships for me was a distraction and it had to be paused. I communicated my stance to my then boyfriend and nipped it in the bud.
**The Ship**
After some years with of course a significant change in my academics I decided to enter the dating pool. There was this guy I met through a friend let’s call him **J**, who kept asking me out. After a couple of outings and conversations I decided to give it a try with him. I think it’s time to mention that my major love languages are spending quality time/attention and giving gifts. I found ways out of my busy schedule, (*which was a mix of school activities plus church activities plus student union activities plus work/volunteering activities*) to spend time with him. The only time I was to rest, I spent it with him which was more of a great sacrifice on my part. I bought him little gifts, (*I’ve always hated hearing men complain about how their partners never got them gifts and it irks me, I make sure I get something for my partner from time to time no matter how little it is* ) I wasn’t so rich but I tried my best. I’m not a kind of person who demands for stuff so I found it hard to ask him to give me money or other material things. He always called me proud because of that but I’m really not. I’m just someone who feels that whatever you want to do for your partner should come from your heart and not from a place of demand.
**Disembarking**
J never reciprocated any of my acts. In the early stages he acknowledged them and tried doing something special for me, but as time went on it was like he got disconnected. I know he had dreams he was chasing and he was always sad when he didn’t meet them, but that shouldn’t affect our relationship. The first red flag for me was when he couldn’t open up to me till I forced him to. It was so annoying, he’d be all sad and depressed but won’t want to share anything with me, instead he turned to drinks. He started caring less and less about me. I started feeling less of myself thinking I was the problem. I couldn’t complain because I wanted him back to normal, I tried talking to him and called for several interventions which didn’t work out. He started falling sick often with me having to sacrifice extra time to nurse him back to health. Eventually he traveled to be with his mum and there he got better but our relationship didn’t so I had to leave. I realized I couldn’t keep being the giver without receiving anything in return. My love tank was reading zero and he didn’t care enough to refill it and so I left. I left for me, as much as I want him to be happy, I need to be happy too. I said this to him, I know what love is don’t bullshit me.
**Regrets?**
I just have a few of them, I’m filled with more with gratitude. I regretted opening up my heart to such person, I also regretted wasting my efforts, time and money. I’m grateful for the experience though, because it has taught me to raise my standards higher, it opened my eyes to what to look out for before committing myself into any other relationship and lastly I’m grateful I wasn’t heartbroken but instead I had the strength to walk away.
**Happy Ending**
I’m with someone amazing, who loves me and I love him too, who treats me like an egg, who is my biggest hype-man, who encourages me to fly/soar higher and who isn’t afraid nor intimidated by my dreams. Let’s call him **K,** and maybe someday I’ll tell you all about **K**.
The New Kid On The Block.
Does one’s personality type influence the decisions we make? After weeks of ruminating and trying to figure out the readcash platform without being actually signed up on it, I’ve finally decided to step out of the shadows and come on board to test the waters myself. This took a really long while, but I’m glad I am finally here, seat belts strapped in and ready for the trip.
Who am I?
I’m Bukola, a young bubbly grown a** woman. Don’t mind me, I love the boosted confidence I get when I say that phrase out loud. I have the personality/temperament of a choleric individual. I set goals and leave no stone unturned in achieving them. I’m more introverted than extroverted meaning I am your typical stay alone in the room reading or writing and just keeping to myself basically kind of person. Although once in a while I wear the life of the “party hat” and people who have seen my introverted side get confused.
When I got introduced to both the noisecash and readcash platform, I was so happy because it was my style. I started of on noise almost immediately, I saw readcash as one which would require more of my attention and at that time I couldn’t give it that, so I decided to give it a little time. A couple of my noise friends kept asking when they would see me on read and I kept asking each one of them to give me a little bit of time. Good news is, that time I’ve been talking about is finally here.
My Hobbies?
I love spending my time buried in books, watching movies, writing and eating, yes should incase I forget to state that later, I am a foodie. Trying out new exquisite dishes is one of my favorite things to do, so if you want to quickly win me over to your side the smooth and sure way is food. Good food is the main key to my heart.
I’m a good listener, what I lack in igniting small talks with people, I make up for in listening. Some of my friends refer to me as their personal therapist, sometimes I wonder why I didn’t go that way in my studies, nevertheless like the adage says, “better late than never” I guess I could still further my education down that lane.
I speak English, I understand Spanish to some extent and these days I’m beginning to pick up interest in Filipino. I love traveling, sightseeing, and enjoying the beauty of nature. I’m not sure I can say all about me on here, I guess with time we will all get to know each other well enough.
In respect to games and sporting activities, I’m a cheerleader. I do not actively participate in any but I enjoy watching. My favorite football club is Manchester United, my star player and the only GOAT I acknowledge is Christaino Ronaldo. I love Bruno Fernandes, Anthony Martial and I’m strangely beginning to fall in love with Rashford. I’m too scared to swim, but I love watching swim competitions. My friend always asks if I have been traumatized by water before but I can’t remember such experience. My best friend is an accomplished lawn tennis player and I usually enjoy watching him play. Maybe someday I can learn to swing like Serena Williams.
*My Expectations.*
I’m hoping to make new friends, I know it’s virtual, still I look forward to interacting with everyone and building lifelong friendship. I’m also looking forward to creating very engaging contents and also learning more about Bitcoin cash (BCH) and cryptocurrency in extension. I’m grateful to everyone who has cheered me on taking these first baby steps, I promise not to let you all down.
My Dear friends, make welcome the new kid in the block who goes by the name, Bukola.
@Bukola
