“Think Before You Place Your Bet… Love series”

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Avatar for King_Gozie
Written by
2 years ago
In community: Just Write(e5e5)

Nobody seems to know what they want out of a situation much less a partner and that's a problem because when a bunch of people coming together and nobody knows what they want, here's what ends up happening; hookup culture, casual dating, you have people walking around with all this trauma that they refuse to heal from, because they have so many options that they really don't know how to spend time with themselves.

They rely solely on the valuation of other people, so what I would say is this.. The first step towards fixing the dating world is for people to figure out what they actually desire.. So this is what I realized within myself as well coz I'm not perfect and why would I commit to any girl if I'm not even sure why I am with them. I want to preference this by saying this "I am not necessary looking for a relationship right now, but if I find a girl that I cannot pass up on I will take that opportunity and I will run with it.” When I mean that is when attraction is in two different direction; understanding and physical attraction..

Both are pretty much equally important, maybe 60/40 percent.. I've not been in so many relationships but I like to prepare my mind towards that and maybe this is what every one needs; connection, control and compatibility.. How do you get satisfied or satisfaction with who you're with now?" Connection is probably the most important portion of understanding, it is much more deeper than a common interest..

A connection is some thing only experienced that builds from within after knowing that person for a while.. it is very rare, if you've felt it then you know it happens maybe once in a life time.. Then the rest is solidly on control and compatibility..

My point is that, it is better to have someone that flows with you or have things in common with you, so you wouldn't have to develop those things.. You can have every physical attraction to this person, you'll know where I'm driving towards but there's something that may be missing from you both and you must fix that prior before a lasting commitment..

What do I want of a partner?" When I think of a partner i think of somebody that i'm looking to spend the rest of my life with which I know most 23 year olds don't necessarily see things the same way but that's exactly where I'm at in my life coz I see things differently.. I've definitely considered the idea of dating high up in age, so it's basically us having a connection.. yes you read this right 😊

What lessons can I derive with this, build future goals, if you don't know what it takes to be in a relationship stay away for now.. compatibility subdues fear and doubts, of the person you reach out to fulfills everything on here why the wait when you don't have to miss out an opportunity for a life time..

You really don’t need a validation for love to take place, it’s a season of love and time for you to make the approach… One good thing about dating is the process of learning, so many things doesn’t play right at first instances but with the best meet up you feel more relaxed and more open..

This is the third love series… thank you for reading through and I love you all so much..

I’m so grateful to @Bloghound @Eylz2021 for renewing your sponsorship.. God bless you..

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Happy Wednesday.

December 2021..

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Avatar for King_Gozie
Written by
2 years ago
In community: Just Write(e5e5)

Comments

People need to be sure what they want, not just be with someone to hang out. They must speak clearly and put everything in order, in order to make a safe decision that will not fail.

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User's avatar Frankmart
2 years ago

Truly there should first be readiness towards dating, and the main reason behind it… before getting to know each other really well, what are the basis for entering into that and what are the long term goals. Thank you Frank

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User's avatar King_Gozie
2 years ago

Hmmm, as for me I don't really have a preference except the age, my man should be older than me. The looks? Anyone would be happy to have a bf with the good looks but for me, my heart is tge only one who'll decide that. If my heart beat for someone then he's the one. But off course if the feeling is not mutual then that's okay too. I will live. But really, I'm not ready for love as of thr moment. Crushes is what all I have right now.

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User's avatar Ruffa
2 years ago

I’m your crush though 😶… you have said it all, love stays and it grows one thing I have come to realize is when that exists in a relationship you see it flourish.. I really don’t care about age personally, merry Christmas is addy dear

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User's avatar King_Gozie
2 years ago

yep... even before you get to know the person you should already know what's your intention and what you want from that person, need to have a clear intention of why you want to know the peron , what you can offer that person and what you can learn with that person

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User's avatar Eylz2021
2 years ago

Very true, there must be clear intentions… I think people jump into it based on first impressions without even getting to know that person deeply… before going into dating there are certain things that must be dealt with and understood too..

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User's avatar King_Gozie
2 years ago

That's what I always tell people, they should always know the reason why they are entering into a relationship. If it isn't to get married I tell them to have a rethink.

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User's avatar Mofif
2 years ago

That’s right… if it isn’t based on that we should all know the end of it.. you have a solid opinion to have a rethink of what we’re going into it..

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User's avatar King_Gozie
2 years ago

When a man dates a woman, it's goal must be to marry her not just to stay like that but before anything else, know each others background and attitude first.

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User's avatar Probinsyana
2 years ago

Very true about knowing backgrounds first and know the end goal of what is being entered into… it’s one way to secure a relationship when there’s common goal between them both…

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User's avatar King_Gozie
2 years ago

Dating should be taken seriously for me and not just out of boredom or fun. I date to marry not just for nothing. This is a very nice article king.

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User's avatar Sequoia
2 years ago

Thank you Seq… I appreciate you coming by. I am in full support of your opinion, it is a serious thing and should be taken as that.

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User's avatar King_Gozie
2 years ago

So this is a series post. I must have missed out on the first two. And to me dating is a No for me . Because partner selection goes beyond dating alone. I know of many that day for years but end up breaking up. That every put into dating should have been preserved and work towards selecting the best partner

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User's avatar McYusuf
2 years ago

You didn’t miss so much… it should be a step into commitment, I believe there should be an equal goal before going on any date.. thank you for your opinion..

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User's avatar King_Gozie
2 years ago

Always welcomed boss

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User's avatar McYusuf
2 years ago

The connection thing is really very pleasing and very enthralling to both the parties and of course compatibility is also very important and I think with connection comes also compatibility.

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User's avatar Trofi01
2 years ago

Everything plays an important role and one leads to another… dating implies a lot of things, although it’s a gradual process to get to know each other better..

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User's avatar King_Gozie
2 years ago

Many people's view of relationship is different, and I have to say that your own view is indeed worthy of imitation. No one should go into a relationship just to have fun and catch cruise, we know what the outcome will always be. If you are not ready, don't waste the other person's time, it isn't fair.

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User's avatar cooldude
2 years ago

Thank you so much… it’s no joke zone when you ain’t ready don’t even attempt it.. good advice to everyone

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User's avatar King_Gozie
2 years ago

A lot of young people enter into relationship just to have fun knowing very well there won't be any commitment from their sides. You don't use another persons emotions for fun 😢

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User's avatar Bilqees
2 years ago

That’s right… relationship and dating should be taken seriously, if there isn’t commitment or connection then I really don’t know where it’s headed… thank you Bilqees for a lovely contribution

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User's avatar King_Gozie
2 years ago

Love Doctor, you are right, if any relationship will last, connection has to take place, some call it feeling of butterflies, both parties need to feel the strong bond and that's what will keep them going whenever the wind of life blows on them. The most important think is to not rush things, let love come on its own accord. In that case, you won't go wrong . And when love happens stay true to it, so that it will end well and not be disastrous for you.

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User's avatar The.Ada
2 years ago

Hehe 😉… there has to be a strong connection and you’d feel that happen.. thank you for this comment, it described everything and even better.. any where love is, it stays and doesn’t leave that’s the type of relationship we should pursue towards..

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User's avatar King_Gozie
2 years ago

I want a trustworthy & loyal one. This is must for a beautiful relationship. People often go for face & money. In the end break up happens.

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User's avatar Lucifer01
2 years ago

For a relationship to work both have to equally have the same perspective towards one another and not for exploit… often time it is for the physical things

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User's avatar King_Gozie
2 years ago

physical attraction for the person one loves is good, but it could fade off as time goes on. I have now come to the understanding that commitment makes relationship works. Love and understanding are also key factor in relationship. Good morning king.

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User's avatar Kingmayor1
2 years ago

Being in a relationship that is not leading to a real future or you know yourself that you don't plan for it to last forever, then that is a useless relationship and you'll be deceiving both sides.

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User's avatar DanLawan
2 years ago

Before looking out for an external partner, you have to be your own partner. Meaning that you have to be friends with your inner room mate. True love and understanding comes from loving and understanding yourself first.

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User's avatar DocLayla
2 years ago

Love sometimes comes unexpectedly. For me it is much better to wait for it rather than looking for someone to be a potential partner. And yeah, we don't need anyone's validation when it comes to a relationship. It is "you" who will be with your partner not them. So as long you love and understand each other it is okay. Good morning King.

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User's avatar Lhes
2 years ago

Love start from attraction and it grows or fade when you know the person better. I met my partner now when I was 18 and until now we are still together, in the long run love isn't a feeling anymore but more of a commitment.

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User's avatar Eybyoung
2 years ago

Lesson learnt from this… it should be more of commitment. You have an amazing union, truly it grows with time as we get to know the next person better.. thank you for a lovely comment and merry Christmas in advance..

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User's avatar King_Gozie
2 years ago
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