This life that I feel left alone in with this so called God who has abandoned me and has been an absentee father..I would give him everything if he would just show up. Starting at blank skies for so long I feel like I'm praying to a black hole and I would gladly do this because my labour is always in vain, where is he when you need him the most?
My mouth burns with burdens but I would still eat the sun just to feel a light in my belly. The thorn in my flesh is infected, the sickness eats deeper each day. I should never have trusted you, I opened the doors of my heart willingly to you but you left me when I needed you the most....I was laughed at, mocked, and spat on by my own people but you stayed there and watched the whole time.
I'm in tears lord, these chains that are on my wrist are signs of captivity from the devil....keeping me in depression, and hurt.
Here is my response to you "Have you ever lived in darkness for so long that your saving grace is blindness, yes!! I have hidden behind the mask of christianity because I know how faithful the role of a mask is an hypocrite but clearly one day grace came and blindfolded me and I saw the truth in the lies I told to myself. God called me and changed me completely.
But don't you think God went through signs and wonders for his introduction, using miracles as bait.....did he get us the far just to forget us? I was there at the same place God left me for almost half of my life yet you still tell me all this things....see 'don't even let me change it for you, I'm already in a bad mood'.
Have you ever stopped to consider that it isn't always about you, and that whenever God plans to use anyone that is exactly what he does. It's not by power nor by might but by his spirit saith the Lord who carves life from dust and strength and hope from hardship.
Then I see clearly now that I have made my comfort here on earth a greater mission than God's glory. I wanted my peace at the expense of his plans for me and I know that I'm not the only one in handcuffs, some of you have been locked up in real life since day 1 and I can't say that I feel your pain or say that i get what you feel prisoner to but i can say that christ was pierced in his sides for every problem you face.
If God be lifted, he would draw all men and raise them higher up where his pains on the cross will set us free....so in this manner, let our lives follow suite and let the pain of this world not break you and I but motivate us to praise with people who feel the same hurt.
You can't see it now but there is purpose is any pain or hardship, don't ever stop worshipping till you're set free. Instead of praying for our season of rain let's praise him through the snow. I never believed this day would come when I will open my heart to listen to the words of somebody else, and as well free from every altercation I have made to God.
Finally, when on the pressures of good measures, pressed down, and shaking together we would still be running after you.
Happy Sunday and may God bless you my wonderful readers.
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03 OCTOBER 2021
This is why we need to live a life full of truth. When we deviate from truth and live a life under the mask, the devil shall finds its way into us. God is wonderful and miraculous. He has his way of doing things. He is quick to forgive. So, we should try to deviate from sins and follow his ways