Heartbreak served hot

Hello beautiful people!

Wednesday went well, right? Mine was okay with little of leisures.

I'll be talking about breakup stories today and I have a lovely true life experience to share. I love my country so much when it comes break-up stories, I don't think there's any other nation that catches cruise more than us with this subject. Breakup supposed to be an awful event that people cry over it but here in Nigeria, we catch cruise on it even when someone is in pain. I know it's bad but it is what it is. This happening is more like a regular thing here to the extent that we rephrased break-up as "BREAKFAST"

Why "BREAKFAST"? This is because break-up is somehow unavoidable just like the way one can hardly do without breakfast. You can do without breakfast sometimes and I know but that's on a rare occasion. So Incase you see me using "breakfast" instead of breakup, just know what I mean.🤗

There's a song that's currently trending in naija. The songs says "🎶🎶🎶Heartbreak is a national cake, it must get to everyone...it has gotten to my guy already🎶🎶🎶"🤣.

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The story;

Yesterday around 10:00am, a female friend of mine from the village chatted me up on WhatsApp saying that she needs advise on her relationship state

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[Have you noticed also that people that are not in any relationship often get called for advice? I have been on this stage since I was in high school, I often get called to give advice and settle relationship issues. I don't know if it's a calling,,,maybe I should consult and see if it's a calling so I'd open a business centre ASAP. Maybe if you have such trait, I'd get you employed 🤪]

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Yeah, she came to me because we are close and I'm the confidential type (why am I sharing here??). She said she's been dating this guy for a long time, they planned to marry last year(November/December 2021), but sickness attacked the guy before then, the guy spent huge amount of money to treat himself medically. And glory be to God, he got healed middle last year (May/June). Meanwhile during the sickness period, the lady was there 24/7 taking care of him.

After the sickness was over, they continued their relationship and things were moving fine, untill the girl reminded him of their plans to pursue the wedding agenda. That was when the guy started drifting back. He moved back to Lagos without telling the girl. He was giving her different attitudes of "I don't want again" and the lady understood the signals, called him and asked him why the attitudes. The guy is the simple hearted, he opened up to her that he doesn't want to go into marriage now.

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The Lady became shocked because this was what they had planned already. She took it as maybe it's because of the huge amount of money spent during the sick period that made him to drift his mind from the marriage agenda. She asked him to tell him why and he just said it "he doesn't have money anymore for now to talk about marriage".

After she narrated, I asked her some questions which she answered, I asked her how many years or months they've been together and she said 8months. I was shocked after hearing this and I told her that I'm not sure if it's money that's making him not to be interested in the marriage again. I knew the end product but I was careful not to say words that might hurt her.

So I told her to speak with the guy again and explain to him to calm down, that if it's money, two of them will plan and work towards it.

She called him last night, and she dropped audio (recorded call) last night but I was unable to attend to it because I was busy. This morning when I woke up, I opened the Audio message and all I heard was exactly what I thought might be the problem.

Yeah, he said he doesn't want again, he just wanna be a free man. That the marriage issue the girl was always bringing is giving him headache. That he doesn't want anything to do with her anymore, they should just be casual friends on "call"(that means No visitation again).

I had to call this lady for a lengthy talk, I tried to calm her down because she was crying. Actually, I was eager to dish out the words from "naija pot" but I decided to stay cool and be a gentle man in order not to increase her pain.

Firstly, I gave her hopeful words that she shouldn't give up easily, maybe the guy need a little time to cool off and hopefully he comes back within a short time. He thanked me so much but the other side of me pushed me to unveil the truth to her as it stands.

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Let's talk a little on this breakup.

Do you think you can avoid break-up? Yes it's avoidable. But how?

[What you're about to read is based on my own opinion. It may sound bad or tag me with a bad guy vibe but I'm cool and full of calmness,,,I no bad please]

Firstly, stay off relationship if you are not ready to recieve break-up, because it must surely come. Yeah, just stay off and be happy. Human being are unpredictable. Go into relationship when you're ready to tie the knot. I know it happens in Marriages too but, should I say it's better there? I don't know, but to me I think...(let me reserve the words before I'd face attack).

Secondly, if you can't stay off and you wanna mingle, please and be expectant. Yeah, be expectant always so that when it happens you won't feel it much. It's just like knowing that an injection (syringe) is going straight to your soft body. Also, don't put your whole heart. 70%-80% should be enough. I'm not saying you shouldn't be committed, you can be committed with a proper projection of your heart. It's where you project your heart it goes. You should be able to control how your heart works, if you allow the "love is blind" sayings to ovetake you, then be ready to see wonders.

Thanks for reading.

9the March 2022