The Responsibility that Isn't Mine in the First Place

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Avatar for Khairro
1 year ago

I am the second eldest among four of my siblings and as the second eldest in the family, I know for sure that I will soon carry the heavy responsibility on my shoulders in the future. But you know what? I became too complacent because I know that I have an eldest brother that will support us once he graduate from college. That he will be the first one to carry the burden and responsibility to support our family before me, but some things don't work as we planned or imagined them to be. Indeed we can't predict the future, and we can't foresee our fate. Everything can change in an instant and the only thing that we can do is go with the flow, accept, and embrace the changes.

Right now, I feel like the crown was passed onto me without me expecting it and all I can do is accept the responsibility to lead my kingdom. I thought that I can still be able to enjoy my youth and freedom but I suddenly felt chained and committed to my obligations. All that happens because of one reason, and that reason changes my priorities and whole being.

Who would have thought that my eldest brother unexpectedly chose to take a different path? A path wherein his friends are his utmost priority than his family. A path wherein he chose to give up his education, and a path wherein he is considering building his own family. No one ever sees that coming and we never expect it to happen. The one that I thought to be the first one to help my family is the first person who gives up achieving his dream, making me the next successor of his duties and responsibilities.

I can't help but feel pressured. Especially now that I am in the final step of my education which is college. Soon enough, after 3 more years, I will graduate, and I needed to find a stable career to support my family. Since my brother decided to stop his studies, it just means that I will be the first one in the family to take a college degree. Of course, I am proud but I feel like I suddenly became the eldest among us. Now, I know how the eldest feels when it comes to obligations. It's hard to do and hard to maintain.

My current situation pressured me a lot even though my parents are not pressuring me. I can't help but overthink. What if I failed them? What if my future is not as bright as I see it? What if I became a disappointment? Will my parents still be proud of me? Will they still look up to me? I have a lot of what-ifs but I am fighting the urge to give up. This is just a challenge to me. God will never send a problem that I can't solve. I put my trust in Him.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

I just want to express what I am feeling for a long time now. It's my first time opening up about this to people who I don't personally know because I know you didn't know me too and you will not judge me 😹 It's really hard to be the eldest in the family because it means you are obligated to help your family financially. Salute to all the people who became the father of their homes, I admire your strength!


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1 year ago

Comments

You are not alone. I am also the second eldest in the family and just like you, I felt pressured too even my family aren't telling me about it because I also have three little siblings to support in the future. So that means, I should be responsible because I need to help all of them.

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1 year ago

Dibaa? Nakakapressure pero laban lang. Enjoy muna natin yung present at wag masyadong magworry sa future

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1 year ago

I can only imagine how stressful that is but I hope you still find a way to cope.

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1 year ago

Same here. Akala ko din ganyan ate ko pero hindi pala. Same tayo ng pinagdaraanan ngayon bata kung sino pa pangalawa, siya pa nag bubuhat ng responsibilidad hays

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1 year ago

Ayos lang naman sa akin AHAHHA ang kaso parang feel ko ako ang sasalo ng lahat pagdating ng araw. Nakakatakot na nakakapressure pero labarn lang, kaya natin yan! Wag muna tayo magworry sa future, let's enjoy muna ang present

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1 year ago

You don't have to worry. Just accept your responsibility and start preparing early for your future. You won't regret it. Do have a nice day πŸ€—

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1 year ago

Yes, thank you for that ☺️ I am preparing myself for my future responsibilities

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1 year ago

Bro I'm the eldest among my siblings and I knew the responsibility align to me. You know what although it has a pressure on me, but I stay focus on my core. Meaning, even though I know what will I do in the future for my family, I didn't mind it. Some of my friends are working, buy here I am very independent to my parents. It's not because I am independent to them, rather I am committed to my current phase of life which is education. You know,after college graduation we will work for a lifetime. Don't pressure okay, lil bro. You're too young for that.

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1 year ago

Thank youu! πŸ₯Ί it's just that minsan dumadaan talaga yan sa isip ko AHAHAH kaya nga ngayon palang pinag-iigihan ko na kasi alam ko na ako ang aako in the future

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1 year ago

Don't think too much, since anjan pa naman ang parents mo. And nag aaral ka pa kaya wag ka masyado magpaka stress. The only thing that you can do now is pagbutihin ang pag aaral mo. Kami namang mga parents eh wala naman ineexpect na iba sa anak kundi ang makatapos lang ng pag aaral..

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1 year ago

Yes po ate, Right now I am focusing myself in my studies, and also improving myself to be a better person. Hindi naman nila ako pinepressure and all, it's just that sumasagi lang siya minsan sa isip ko.

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1 year ago

Sabagay di din maiwasan yan pero nakakastress kaya yan so iwas sa mga stressful na bagay, hehe

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1 year ago

Bruh college is hard. Just focus on your studies and everything will follow. Hindi natin maaalis na magoverthink pero isa lang sinasabi ko sarili ko tska sa mga kaibigan ko, wag natin isipin yung mga problemang hindi natin sure kung magiging problema nga lalo na sa mga bagay na di natin makokontrol. Since hindi ka naman pinepressurr literally ng parents mo, do what you love and for sure they'll be happy for you which will make them happy too, then everything will follow. πŸ€—

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1 year ago

Thankk youu!! πŸ₯ΊπŸ₯° Iba talaga epekto minsan ng overthinking kaya dapat iwasan AHAHAH. Thanks for this!

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1 year ago

Totoo yan, pero wag ka magpalamon. Lumapit ka sa mga kaibigan mo o kung sino na pwede mo makausap. Tmbay ka lang din dito para di mo masyado maisip. Pero ang importante ay ang mahalaga HAHAHAHA. CHAR! πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—

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1 year ago

Everything will gonna be fine as you keep going to yourself.

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1 year ago

Best of luck hope so you will fulfill your responsibilities in the good way, somehow I feel your situation because am also eldest child of my home😀

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1 year ago

Thank you! We're on the same page that's why. Best of luck to our future!

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1 year ago