Sibling Rivalry

August 14, 2021

 I recently watch a Netflix series entitled Zero Chill.

It is about a family of four, a father, a mother and a pair of twins. Both twins are into ice skating. The boy, Mac, is into hockey and the girl, Kayla, is into figure skating. They live in Canada and when Mac was offered a training with a famous hockey player in England, the family has to relocate to England. Without giving Kayla a choice. Although they support her figure skating but they give more priority to hockey.

They have this family motto: Home is wherever we’re together. Hence, wherever hockey brings Mac, Kayla is always the one to sacrifice. This create a sibling rivalry.

As an onlooker I cannot blame Kayla for being hurt and make nuisances as a result of the unfairness of the situation

Sibling rivalry is sort of a competition between brothers and sisters or siblings. This usually occurs when there are more than one child in the family.

It is very common for siblings to fight especially with regards to toys, food or attention.

The above mentioned story is just about a brother and a sister, how much more if there are more children in the family.

I have a first-hand experience in sibling rivalry. I come from a large family. I have a sister and three brothers. You just cannot prevent jealousy from being happening within the family especially if the parents shows their preference too.

Yeah, I admit that I am jealous of my sister as I can always hear my mother comparing me against her. She always admires my sister to others in front of me. Who wouldn’t be jealous of that? But at least I have my father to run to. That is why I am a papa’s girl.

Can parents be blamed too for sibling rivalry? I think they should be if they don’t put a stop to it or they themselves lit fire into it.

As a parent myself, I try to bring balance into how I treat my children so that there will be no sibling rivalry. But no matter how I tried, I can still see rivalry within my girls. My eldest is a proud one and she is always the one putting a wall from her sisters. At least the two younger ones does not harbor anger and are humble, they just brush it off and wait for their elder sister to be okay again.

What can a parent do when there is sibling rivalry in the family?

DO NOT GET INVOLVED

Parents should not get involved as much as possible. We should only step in when there is danger of physical harm. And if ever we did interfere, resentment might be developed and could foster more sibling rivalry. On the other hand, the child that is being favoured might feel that they can always get away with more. It would be best to encourage the kids to resolve the problem themselves.

HELP KIDS TO GET ALONG

As parents, it is our role to make our kids get along all the time. It is our role to set simple ground rules for an acceptable behavior. Such as no name-calling, no cursing, no bad words.

It won’t be wrong too if you have fun together as a family. Family bonding is the best. Spending time together really helps. May it be watching a movie, playing board games… something that involves all the members of the family. This is to establish a peaceful way of spending time together and help reduce conflict.

Sibling rivalry may not only be between brothers and sisters. It could be a daughter against friends, catching attentions from her father. Or can this be called sibling rivalry?

Per Mr. Google, Sibling rivalry is another type of competition or animosity among siblings, whether blood-related or not. 

Back to the Netflix series, Zero Chill. The coach of the Hockey team has a daughter who was forced by her mother to be a figure skater but all she wants was to join her father’s hockey team. But her father has no eyes for her. He only has heart for his team of boys.

He shows how he cares for the team in front of her daughter and this made her daughter jealous. Her rivals are a bunch of boys. Her mother did not help either as she is being forced to practice figure skating. But at least this girl is strong-willed. When she was full of her mom, she put her mom in place. She also talked out to her father who eventually gave her a chance to join the team during practice but put her in bench during games.

In the end she told her father that she is done. She is done getting her father’s attention and she quits. This makes her father realized what he had done to his daughter and he finally make amends.

Sometimes there is a need for us to confront what bothers us and speak up. Communication does plays a big role in repairing family factions and misunderstanding.

That's all for now folks!

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