I Am Jealous Of The Clouds

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Avatar for Jijisaur
1 year ago

It was not a happy day. I thought it was just a normal day, the same routine.

I was out and about the town because of work. I am not at home most time of the day. I finished my work at around 5:00 in the afternoon.

While taking a rest before I took shower, I opened the discord community I am in. I am so confused about what is going on. There are so many messages.

So, yeah, someone break the news that one of the members died.

I do not like to be detailed about it anymore.

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Life is unpredictable. You really do not know when is your last day.

It is really hard to let go of someone you dearly loved. My first death heartbreak was the passing of my grandma. She was 86 years old when she joined our creator. I was really sad that day because I was out of the country. During that time, I needed to go back to the Philippines as fast as I could.

I cannot eat and sleep. I was emotionally and physically drained. I try not to cry on the plane because people might ask me as I might cry even harder. It is hard to breathe, plus the altitude.

I did not waste my time, I went straight ahead to the province the moment the plane landed.

As I reach the house of my grandma, tears rolled down my face. It was really a hard situation for me.

One of my regrets in life is that I did not spend much time with her as I am busy with personal and career goals.

You will never know someone's worth until it is gone.

I know my lola is now happy, guiding us from the clouds. I am so jealous of the clouds...

It is still hard up to this day to accept that she is happy without us. It was a tough time for us as a family.

What can I take from this is that we should celebrate life and spend time with our loved ones as much as we can. We cannot take time back. Life is just a one-time pass in this world unless there is a real afterlife. If it is true, I will find my grandma and will spend the Summer with her.


That is it for this article. I will see you at the next one!

📸 All photos are credited to Unsplash

Date Published: Aug 17, 2022

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1 year ago

Comments

How sad this friend, I just read something similar in another article, it is really sad to talk about death and specifically about the death of a loved one from whom we may be a little distant. Your wound will not heal, but I know that she will be taking care of you and will give you all the energy to move forward, she knows that you still have many years to live and that you should enjoy life, because sometimes even though time and years go by, life is very short. Have a nice day my friend, I send you a big hug.

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1 year ago

Truly life must go on. Our lives are just borrowed so enjoy it while it lasts. Nice comment. Tke care.

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1 year ago

Grabi no, sa isang iglap lang nag end na ang lahat. Bat ang bilis kasi 🥺. Kaya lets enjoy life while we still can 🥺💔

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1 year ago

Tama ka dyan Panda Panda. Maikli lang talaga ang buhay e kaya enjoy it while it last.

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1 year ago

Gawin na ang mga gustong gawin na di magawa dahil di pa ready. Oops, sa sarili ko apla to sinasabi hahaha

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1 year ago

Losing my grandma is also my first heartbreak . I don't know how I overcome those dark days. But I know she's happy for what I am now.

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1 year ago

She is happily looking after you, teach. Same feels with you back then.

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1 year ago

Yung first death heartbreak ko yung sa aso ko for 9 years. Kasi noong time namatay lolo ko side ni mama, 6 years old palang ako and di ko pa alam kung ano talaga ang death. HS ako noong namatay ang aso ko, mga 10 years din na hindi ako nagalaga kasi di pa ako ready. if human ang paguusapan, recently lang. Yung namatay lolo ko sa father's side tapos nasa Manila pa ako and hindi makauwi nang basta2 kasi may pandemic pa eh.

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1 year ago

Condolence, Kee. It is really hard losing a pet talaga. Yung ang pure nila na kahit di mo sila pinapansin, lalapitan ka pa rin nila. hugs~

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1 year ago

I also miss my Dad, I lost him when I was a child but I know your Lola and my Dad are both happy wherever they are right now :)

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1 year ago

Yeah, they are looking after you, wherever they are.

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1 year ago

Ako first heart break ko nung namatay Auntie ko 9 years ago, I treat her as my second Mom that's why I can't accept the fact that she is gone. What's worst is ,nung birthday ko siya namatay tapos nasundan pa yung heartbreak ko nung namatay 2 best friends ko and birthday ko din Yun. Hayst what a memorable birthday for me🥺🥺

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1 year ago

Hugs, Mayiee~ :( Ang hirap pag bday mo, your heartbreak will be remembered, noh? Wherever they are, happy sila watching you.

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1 year ago

Ang sakit sa totoo lang 😟 I hate lossing friends kasi iilan lang alam kung tunay. What hurt the most is that, we just laughing hard and happy the night before it happened 🥺

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1 year ago

Yung sanay ka na na magchchat siya pero forever na na hindi na mauulit kasi wala na :( hays. It is just heart breaking.

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1 year ago

I feel you first heart break ko dn nung namatay si nanay. Grabe dn un sya kasi favorite lola ko na remember ko pa tatabi ako sa kanya pag matutulog. Nkakamiss si nanay.

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1 year ago

I miss my lola too every day. Hugs sis~

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1 year ago

Yung time din na namatay great grandma at grandpa ko sa mother side, yun din yung time na umiyak ako ng sobra. Hindi ako umattend ng funeral niya kasi ayaw ko isipin na wala na talaga sila.

Tapos nung time ko lang din naalala yung time na binalita don sa discord about sa aksidente, don ko lang din naalala yung time na pagkawala nung great grandma at grandpa ko. Same words as how my aunt delivered the news to us kasi.🥲

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1 year ago

hugs, sis :( Hmm, ramdam ko yung sadness mo dito. I feel a little bit down pag na alala ko yung lola ko. Nagulat rin ako sa balita sa discord. So much pain in that day. :(

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1 year ago

Minsan super unfair ng buhay noh? Yung tipong ayos ang lahat ngayon, masaya, nag-eenjoy, pero kalaunan kukunin din pala yung saya sa iyo ng biglaan. It's just sad to know na ganon lang kadali ang lahat, isang iglap wala na pero yung sakit matagal mong dadalhin at paghihilumin.

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1 year ago

Kaya dapat yung oras na natitira sa atin sa mundong ito ay spend sa mga makabuluhang bagay. No time to waste , kasi life is too short talaga. :(

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1 year ago

Sobrang biglaan no parang nung nakaraan lang sa games masaya pa lahat 😢😭

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1 year ago

Totoo po. Parang hindi totoo. I was really shocked sa balita. May she rest in love and peace.

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1 year ago

Ako naman is ung tatay ko year 2005, masakit pero masya kasi ndi na sya maghihirap pa

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1 year ago

Hugs po~ Ganyan din naramdaman namin sa lola namin. Yung ang hirap mag let go but you hve to kasi mas gagaan kalagayan niya.

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1 year ago

Ako naman eh I am jealous of the birds. They can go wherever they want and witness the beauty of the world, up there. Anyway, sending hugs to you 🥺

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1 year ago

Yeah, parang pwede nilang magtravel anywhere. They are such amazing creatures!

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1 year ago

Human time in the world can never be predicted, sometimes work forgets the whole house just to seek glory. give the best to everyone including family before we regret because life is sometimes confusing. sorry to hear that

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1 year ago

Thanks. Yeah, always find time to be with loved ones because time cannot be retracted.

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1 year ago

I'm sorry about what happened to your Lola sis. I'm sure nakatingin lang siya sa inyo palagi. Andyan lang siya sis.

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1 year ago

Yeah, pretty sure she is guiding us all. Thanks for dropping by, sis. 😊

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1 year ago

You're welcome sis. ❤️

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1 year ago