How to celebrate a birthday without the celebrant?

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Avatar for JenThoughts
2 years ago
Date: June 15, 2022

I can't understand myself. There is a feeling of emptiness inside me. The time pass and I havent done anything for the one who has his birthday today.

Hello read.cash family, how are you this time? I know many of us felt sad for the dip that our dear bch have these days but let's just hope that soon it will rise up, shine and fly to the moon.

Here I am again want to share my thoughts to you as by doing so I felt relieved and felt okay. I want to thank you for being here always to listen to me by reading what I have written.

Today, June 15, 2022 is the 63rd Birthday of my father. A question came out in my mind, how to celebrate a birthday without the celebrant?

Today is his first birthday that we don't know how to celebrate it without him. Last year we were so happy celebrating it with him. I and my younger siblings went home and brings some to eat as we celebrate his birthday. He has his first money cake that time that he even don't understand why my younger brother told him to pull the banana tree picture in the cake. He did as being told and he was surprised that money keeps on showing as he pull it. We keep on shouting and it is our first time to have a money cake in the family. We were so happy that time. We pray before partaking the food and we thank God for giving our Tatay (father) another year in his life and we don't have any prayer for him but he will be well from his sickness and he could live a healthy life with us. We have a lot of dreams to pursue with him especially my younger brothers. They wanted to pay back the sacrifices that our father did for us.

As the days went by, his sickness became worst and making him more weak. The pandemic make his situation worst. The covid test before having his dialysis add our financial problems during that time plus the stress it gave to my father.

The cold and cough struck him plus his twice a week dialysis. He felt tired of his situation and asking God to get the life He let him borrowed. Hearing those words from him makes our heart broke apart. My nanay (mother) will always remind him that God is the only one who knows about our life. Until he has a hard time in breathing even after his dialysis. He was admitted in the hospital and we cannot visit him because that time only one person is allowed to assist the patient inside the hospital. We plead to the hospital staff to give us time to visit our father but they are sticking to the rules and we cannot blame them for that.

Our father lost his life 4 months ago in the hospital bed and we see him again with close eyes, straight body, not moving at all and can't hear us even we are calling his name in a loud voice. (Crying 😭😭😭😭)

Since that day, I was incomplete, we are incomplete. A days after he passed away, my brother celebrated his birthday and we celebrate it with tatay in his kabaong. A month passed and my mother celebrate her birthday without our father anymore and today it is Tatay's birthday. How could we celebrate it without him. For now we can't go home and can't visit his body in the cemetery, hopefully on Sunday we can give time for him.

I thought celebrating his birthday before with no delicious food in our table is the saddest part but I was wrong. The saddest birthday celebration is celebrating it without the celebrant.

We still thank God for giving us our Tatay for 62 years. In those years we felt the love that a father have to his children.

Closing thoughts

Sometimes reminiscing the past will make us smile, remembering those happy moments we have with our love ones. Sometimes it will make us laugh too as we could see in the window of our memories the silly moments together. But sad thing, it will make us cry too because we miss them, we want to have another moment with him.

I will just hope to meet my father again in the resurrection morning when Jesus will raise the dead in His second coming and we will leave a life that no more sorrow, no more pain, no more tears and no more crying again. Let's just be good, have faith in God and follow Jesus example and we will be fit to live in that Heavenly Kingdom and will have eternal life.

Let's cherish the moment we have with our love ones because life is so short.

Thank you for reading.

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2 years ago

Comments

I'm so sorry for your loss, I'm sure he's up there guiding you as an angel.

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2 years ago

Same here, we usually.celebrate my father's birthday with him but we don't know how to celebrate it without him..

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2 years ago

That's a question we don't know how to answer.. but that's the reality of life.

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2 years ago

Nakakaiyak naman po ito sis naalala ko din kasi ttay ko pero I only knew him in his wonderful stories he left me and I was so young. And I could imagine how happy you were with your father specially to the part na Masaya c papa mo while hinihila po Yung money cake. And yes sis remembering those wonderful stories will somehow make us smile laugh or cry but sis cheer up po our father never left us, their always with us in our mind and hearts. Belated happy birthday to your Tatay sis from my family to yours sis 😘 Saan man sila they are happy seeing us kasi we are proud na sila Ang Tatay natin

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2 years ago

Ou nga sis, thanks for cheering me up..

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2 years ago

I suddenly felt broken hearted with your story sis😭, I'm sorry for your lose. I already lose my father too and his lose leaves me devastated, i also felt the same as you felt. I am incomplete, I feel empty and i even felt that my life has already ended when he left. It was ended hard painful if we lose our love ones. However happy birthday to your tatay in heaven. I know his already in the good hands of our Creator. No more pains and no more illness.

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2 years ago

Yes sis the feeling is so different. Now I understand those people who don't have their father too.

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2 years ago

Really sorry for your loss, and may his soul continue to rest in peace. happy birthday to him too where he is.

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2 years ago

Thank you sis... I am hoping to see each other again in the resurrection morning.

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2 years ago

Sorry for your loss. Losing a parent can be very devastating, it's not something anybody can easily heal from but at the end of the day, only God knows best and he has a reason why he took your father.

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2 years ago

Yes, pain cannot be healed easily. Even until.now, I can't say that I have really moved on because there were times that my tears will fall unexpectedly when i remember him.

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2 years ago

It's painful, but it's good since he lived up to that age, and I know you wished him to live longer but we can't question our creator. May his soul continue to rest in peace

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2 years ago

Yes you're right, we are thankful for that 62 years He had given for my father.

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2 years ago

So sorry about the loss of your dad, I really can sense how you feel without him. I pray his gentle soul will continue to rest in the lord's blossom.

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2 years ago

Yes the feeling is so different. Sometimes I found myself teary eyed looking at someone having their father.

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2 years ago

So sad but I'm pretty sure that he is happy now to his safest place. Happiest birthday to yoyr father ate

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2 years ago

As what I believe and understand the Bible, someone who is dead dont have feelings at all as their body is in their grave and their breath came back to the owner of life, God. But emotions will be back again when Jesus comes.

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2 years ago

Wow this sounds somehow painful, sorry about the great lost, I always believe that we will definitely meets our love once in the ressurection day, just like the scripture had said.

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2 years ago

Yes thats the only hope we are holding on to meet someone we love in the future.

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2 years ago

Happy Birthday po alam ko na happy napo sya kung nasan man po siya

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2 years ago

He is just sleeping and waiting na gisingin sya ni Jesus when He comes again.

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2 years ago

I'm sure happy na imong papa sa heaven sis.akong lola sis until now since year 2005 namatay akong Lolo iya ghapun birthdihan akong Lolo.

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2 years ago

Lagi sis gugma nagpabilin jud.. manguli guro mi sunday puhon sis..

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2 years ago

Ang ganda ng smile niya sa second photo sis. I hope he is having a good time up there.

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2 years ago

Hanggang pictures na lang yung tinitingnan namin sis.. may family picture pa kami a month before sya namatay.

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2 years ago