When we lose parents, we get to know ourselves
It's been a year since I lost my father. It’s been a year since I met myself.
In life we often do not have many opportunities to face ourselves. We often live by performing tasks, fulfilling obligations, wishes, achieving goals. We have no time or need to dedicate ourselves to getting to know ourselves deeply. And then something happens that makes you face yourself for the first time after years of living in ignorance. Ignorance of ourselves. And deep down there is a lot of things we were not aware of. We are in that depth. We who look like our parents. We who have the same flaws that made us angry at them many times.
I didn't know I could throw an object when I got annoyed. I didn’t know that maybe I had a hidden aggression in me. I have never noticed that. Now I know and I know that it is not good and I want it not to happen in the future. But how would I know a downside of myself if I had been protected from my parents all my life who made me feel like the best being in the world.
When you lose your parents, responsibility knocks on your door even though you believed it has always been there. Now it comes with its complete equipment to lead you to a life where you choose your own path.
If you make a mistake along the way, no one will stand behind you. You are solely responsible for what you do and then you start to get to know yourself more and more because you need to know what outcomes you can expect from your actions. And there you are. Only you. You and memories. Memories hurt, but they remind you of who you were. With them you go on and start learning who you are.
I didn't believe that I was strong enough to endure the loss of my parents, but with that lack of strength, I am still moving forward. I laugh, I make rational decisions, I was not depressed, I don't hurt others, I behave normally. I realized that I was stronger than I thought and that I could endure more than I could have imagined.
I got to know myself deeply and discovered the positive sides of my personality that help me pass on true values to my children, but also the negative sides that I want to correct, and the first step to correct something is to become aware. Not knowing ourselves well and deeply, we are often unaware of our flaws that can hurt others.
Now I know who I am. Now I know who the people around me are. When you are in a difficult situation, many people will withdraw. Not everyone likes to be in the presence of sad people. Those who sincerely appreciate you will stay with you. There aren't many of them. But they are worth more than a lot of "friends" who took your time during a time when you didn’t know yourself.
As long as we have parents, the world is still beautiful around us no matter what happens. Enjoy it. If you have already lost your parents, get to know yourself better because you are the only one who can help yourself cope with life's difficult challenges.
Thank you very much for reading.
The article is original and mine.
Lead image is from unsplash.com.
Greetings!
I miss my mama every day and I promised myself that I will search for her in another life or another lifetime. Sigh, now I am sad and I am teary-eyed. Losing my parents made me realize that life is really serious :P I mean I thought it won't happen to me. I'm gonna have this pain forever.