When to Disobey Our Parents
How disrespectful this article would be? I don't think so. The title gives us a negative connotation to its core idea but trust me, this isn't about teaching you how to become a bad son or daughter.
As children, we are taught how to respect our parents and in most cases, the elders. However, as we grow up and mature, we could have developed certain thinking that may be against their views.
The problem is if we raise our concerns or thoughts to them, they'll immediately find it disrespectful. Which is not the point. The thing about our parents (1950s to late 1970s) is that they're used to the traditional way of values formation. They are the rules. No ifs and buts. Strict and dictatorship.
Sometimes, they're unreasonable. They'd tell you that it's for your own good but compromising your freedom and privacy too.
Growing up, I have witnessed how strict my parents were but when I entered adulthood in my early 20s and I matured, they didn't dictate what should I be doing with my life. They gave me the freedom of how should I handle my life but with their strong support and guidance.
Well, as young children, our way of honoring them is to obey them. As young gals, we need specific guidance. We still don't have the maturity to handle things. We don't understand what they're saying but obeying them is already the best we can do as children.
Either way, I'm thankful how they've managed to grow their children instilling great values formation and personality. They are my idols in parenting style.
However, on behalf of those who have controlling, toxic and close-minded parents, how do we handle such situations where we need to express our thoughts too without making them feel being disrespected?
Maintain a calm and friendly tone.
When talking with them, you must engage with eye contact. Don't get too emotional. That's when you start to raise your voice and so they'll find you disrespectful.
I get that you are only raising your concerns to them but understand that there is a generation gap between you and them. Our generation today is more liberated and open to expressing our thoughts unlike before.
Keep the communication open.
If you have a misunderstanding with your parents, it is still advisable to keep your lines of communication open to them. This will strengthen the relationship and should resolve issues much faster.
One thing that we should take note of, an important reminder to stick to our minds is that we should never talk back to them. The tone of our voices means everything to them. Arguments are likely to happen when both of you get emotional. Keep your heads cool down first to regain your right state of mind and get back to your senses.
Accept and respect their points of view.
We need to remind ourselves that our parents are the best teachers in our lives (case to case basis, some parents fail to be good ones though). Let's not act as if we know everything. They have experiences that they have learned from that are most likely applicable to the situation we are dealing with. We still need their guidance and opinions even if we are already adults.
Express your views and opinions on the situation too but assure them that you will do your best as much as you can. You just need their trust and support. Assure them that your relationship with each other is more important than not sharing the same opinion on an issue. Like, politics. Oh well, politics have gone too overboard by destroying family relationships. But that's a different topic to go through.
Thanks for reading.
Keep safe everyone!
Yeah tama, they are open naman siguro lalo na pag own good natin