So You're Giving Up? Think of How Far You've Come

It's crazy to think how I like to write motivational articles for you guys but then there's me not applying it firsthand. The hypocrisy is at its peak and it's overbearing for me. That is why, I see to it that in every article that I write, I remind myself always to apply it on my own.

Frustration

I'm frustrated of how my life goes right now. Have you ever felt this way? When you wanted to do something so badly but external factors are stopping you from doing so?

What I'm trying to say is that, I wanted to do something monumental in my life but I just can't and it frustrates me to the highest level. I know deep in myself that I can do it but my hands are tied.

Just to give you a background, I live with my grandma for 3 years now. Back in 2019, this house has been my sanctuary. 2019 was a crucial year for me. Like a situation between life and death. If you're a follower of me since then, you'd know the reason.

The thing here is that, I wanted to look for a decent job since it's been 3 years since I've been unemployed. When read.cash came, the 1st year was something I was most productive financially. But then this year came and everything dropped.

I converted my remaining BCH into pesos because I got afraid it would drop below $100. From then on, I slowly started losing them for expenses. So that pushes me to find a stable job even at home but I can't since I can't leave grandma unattended. My computer is at home and I don't have a decent laptop with me that I will use for online gigs.

It feels like I'm caged inside a box with no way out. But hey, maybe I'm just being over emotional since hormones are dominating me lately.

Envy

I know this is wrong but the more I suppress this, the more I feel inferior and irritable. The sudden outburst of emotions is getting serious.

I know I should not feel this way but seeing my life right now the way I wanted it to be is far cry. I feel envy because I see my cousins living their lives, establishing their careers, saving money and getting healthy relationships.

And then there's me staring at them above feeling so low.

Impatience

Good things happen to those who wait. When societal pressure is on, I can't just sit and do nothing with my life. Yes, I don't need to prove myself to other people for their satisfaction but I choose to do it for myself.

Regret is haunting me everyday. If only I have made a different choice in the past, things wouldn't turn out like how my life is doing right now. However, there's no point crying over spilled milk.

Although I acknowledge that all of these are only a state of mind but when reality hits you hard, you can't help but pity yourself over the things you should or shouldn't have done. Time ticks so fast, but it's hard to tell if I have done something worthwhile.

Well, I would say that being alive is the most precious privilege one should treasure everyday. That enough is truly a blessing. So to remind myself when I think of giving up, I should remember how far I have come.

If you have reached this part reading, please know that I'm rooting for you and believe that you can achieve it. Let's keep fighting!

Lead image source

Thanks for reading!

Keep safe everyone.