The word "toxic" has been in use for years now. In fact, it was just lately recognized by the public when social media is at its peak. When the pandemic started, everyone was affected and so are relationships.
How would you know if you're in a toxic relationship? Here's for you to find out.
Your role as a shoulder to cry on doesn't merely limit you in the relationship. You also deserve love like everybody else. However, timing is another thing to consider. It's either you will both make it or break it.
The thing is, if you find your partner always talking about his/her past then that clearly shows he/she hasn't fully moved on yet. You just kept on consoling him/her about the past relationship.
I believe it's time to let your partner find him/herself first, and heal over the loss or heartbreak before committing to a relationship again. Love is patient and understanding, you are hopeful that you can make the relationship work but my friend, everyone deserves to be loved. You show unconditional love to your partner but you are the one who always ends up hurting. You deserved genuine happiness.
I believe that nobody has not lied in his/her entire life. Everyone commits mistakes. Nobody is perfect. However, if you find your partner lies to almost everything even in the slightest matter, then I guess it's time to re-evaluate your trust in him/her.
Committing a white lie occasionally is okay if the situation is considerable. There are things meant to be "white-lied" about most especially if it complicates things. It's a matter of good decision-making skills.
With one lying and not being honest, the relationship will slowly fall back on its feet. Every relationship needs open communication, and one must be open to the other's opinions to share thoughts about a certain circumstance. Instead, your partner chooses to not tell you about their true feelings and intentions.
This is a technique toxic partners do to the relationship. What they normally do is that they feed you full of compliments and make you happy like it's unending and vice versa. They manipulate your sense of identity making you to be completely reliant on them.
When this happens, it's like you are in his/her prison.
A friend in college got herself into a relationship where the guy is a "manipulative sad boy". They've been together for 4 years and when my friend found out about his cheating on another girl, she decides to break up with him but the guy refuses and starts to manipulate her feelings. He told her that if she will break up with him, he'll take his own life.
Imagine how toxic that was for the girl? The guy is too fond of guilt-tripping the girl just to make her stay.
It is important that when you are in a relationship, you still have the time to maintain individuality. This gives you room to breathe and do a self-check so you can be a better version of yourself. Not only to the relationship but also to your loved ones and friends.
This is a very common issue among relationships. This includes always checking your messages, call histories, asking your whereabouts and who you are with. Your partner is already stepping on the line and invading your privacy.
Communication is crucial in a relationship to make sure that you both are on the same page. However, if this goes beyond then I guess you should consider opening up and talk about it to prevent the relationship from falling apart.
Let's admit it, nobody wants to be treated like a robot. Although it's sweet if your partner protects you but going overboard is a different story. The relationship is treated like a school or organization where there are rules and regulations to follow. This results as if your partner owns you instead of practicing equal compromise.
For the record, you are alread having an enjoyable life before you met each other. You were okay before you met him/her and now you are undergoing restrictions you don't need to ask permission to. You are free to make your own decisions. Then again, be responsible for your actions.
There is no such thing as perfect relationships. Emotional discussions are normal. Everyone doesn't share the same opinion and so we are entitled to our own decisions.
However, if the relationship is already undergoing a pattern of on and off relationship then maybe you should examine why.
This situation is toxic because aside from the time you invest for each other to the fight, it plays with your emotions affecting your mental health.
There's something in the relationship that remains unresolved and unsettled being taken for granted. It needs to be addressed so that in the future, the relationship will develop open communication which is the key to a healthy relationship.
Personally, I am blessed to have a partner who's sincere, understanding, and patient. We do have minor emotional discussions but with open communication, everything gets resolved and addressed.
In addition, this doesn't only applies to relationships though. You could also consider these checkpoints for friendships.
So are you experiencing these signs? Comment down below and let's figure things out.
Thanks for reading.
Keep safe everyone! ❤