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I Think She's Depressed

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Avatar for Jeaneth
Written by   374
2 months ago

I have written an article about how stubborn my grandma is. She doesn't want to stay in one place. She hates to sit still. She likes to move around as if she controls everything. She's very specific with her things, she always has something to say to anything.

She used to be a plain housewife so she's used to take over of the household chores. She's the queen of the house. Now that she's grown old, her body has become weaker but her mind is still strong. Her mind is the busiest but her body couldn't keep up.

2 months ago she was hospitalized because she got Covid but we were so glad she was able to get it through. Those were the times that we got so concerned. The family was severely affected but through God's grace, she recovered.


It was January 9, 2020, when she lost the love of her life. We lost our grandfather. He died due to a thoracic aneurysm. It was devastating. Everyone was affected. That was pre-pandemic.

Then March came and everything changed. Everything is almost restricted. The elderly and the children are restricted to go outside. Wearing face masks and face shields is mandated and should be practiced at all times.

This severely affected the lives of the people. Then there's grandma, confused about what's happening. She's saddened because she could no longer go outside every Monday for her adoration at the church.

Her social life went silent, she could no longer attend charismatic meetings and all activities related to the church.

One year has passed and I witnessed how her health deteriorated. She still does the things she used to do during the day but sometimes she takes a rest too often because her knees are getting weak and she experiences discomfort in breathing.

2 months ago, she got Covid and I'm sure that it's either I or my sister who passed it to her. I honestly thought it was just simple colds and coughs but the effect on her was serious. She got hospitalized and came out positive in Covid. 2 weeks passed and she recovered.


Lately, I have noticed that she behaves differently. She appears to be in despair and always into deep thinking. I ask what seems to be bothering her but she said she's okay.

Loss of appetite

Her stomach is very sensitive to acidic foods. Her doctor advised her to not eat foods that would trigger her ulcer. Oranges, pineapples, citrus, vinegar are some of those she should avoid.

However, what triggers her acid reflux more is her habit of thinking too much. As I said, it's as if she controls everything and if one fails to deliver, she gets stressed and there her acid reflux starts to act up. I'll give you some scenarios that do not really need to be executed perfectly but she's so specific about it.

When washing the dishes, the plates should be placed in a big strainer first before putting them on the cabinet to avoid leaking and damaging the cabinet.

The water used to rinse the rice should be stock water in a gallon because the water from the faucet is dirty and there are particles unseen that could put our health in danger. That way, the gallon stock with water can filter it.

The leftover rice should be put in the rice cooker once it boils so it gets heated and serve along with the cooked rice but has to be placed in the corner of the Tupperware which determines it as leftover.

And a whole lot more!

So if these things won't be delivered as how she wants them to be, she gets stressed, frustrated, and starts losing her appetite. When she does, she has this habit of always spitting because of the acid she wants to let out.

Sleep disturbances

As she loses appetite, her sleep gets disturbed because of the discomfort she feels in her throat. She said that it's phlegm that sticks to her throat and she can't manage to let it all out even spitting countless times.

This usually happens at night and so her sleep is affected and she's tired throughout the day. The moment we wake up in the morning, she stares at one corner appears to be weak and sad.

I hate seeing her like that. I do understand that elders have weaker stamina but seeing her be in that situation concerns me the most.

Always Irritated

Because she lacks sleep, she lacks energy, she feels irritated all the time. Our house helper mostly gets reprimanded for her expressions. She wants every detail to be exact and delivered.

One time our house helper was mopping the floor and cleaning the tables, taking away the dust from the furniture. She (grandma) complained about why the floor is so wet and why didn't she mopped it beforehand so she can pass by.

Her patience is just too low and she's overly sensitive to everything she sees. She comments bad things to the commercials on tv saying that girl doesn't suit to be there. Just everything.

Occasional talk about death

Yesterday, we had our lawn cut because the grass has grown and she hates to see it. The good thing was the man who mowers the lawn usually visited so we had it cleaned. The weather was gloomy and the sky drizzled.

There were bits of raindrops so we couldn't sweep the grass because if we do, we might get colds and she'll get infected again. Her immune system is weaker than us so she will be seriously affected.

The drizzle lasted almost the entire day. The next thing I know, she started sweeping the grass while the raindrops are falling. I confronted her to stop doing it because it's slightly raining. We'll take over once the drizzle stops and then she explained that she gets cold when she doesn't do anything.

My sister scolded her and told her about how vulnerable she is to catch colds so she sat at the bench mumbling. I heard her saying "maayog pag mamatay" which translates to "better if I die".

That statement got me thinking deeply and confirmed to myself that maybe she's depressed. Maybe she misses grandpa and our aunt working in Oman. Or maybe she's frustrated with the situation or with her health.

Lead source image


Thank you for reading.

Keep safe everyone! ❤

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Avatar for Jeaneth
Written by   374
2 months ago
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Comments

Ganyan din lola ko noon di mapakali ng walang ginagawa, for sure kung naabutan nia anh pandemic di pa din yun ti tigil kakalabas😅

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2 months ago

Makulit din ano. Hehe

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2 months ago

This article reminds me of my Lola. before na bed ridden akong Lola sauna, paspas kaayo sya maglihok2, dili gyud mahimutang, one time, nagdakop sya og manok, nabikil, dili na sya makatindog. Bisan gahigda cge gihapon to huna huna bisan unsa, sensitive na pud kaayo sa food. Until the day, she said goodbye to us. I miss my lola.

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2 months ago

Busy permi ang huna huna oy maong ma stress daun kung di mabuhat ditso.

Your lola is in good hands now 🙏

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2 months ago

Kalooy bah ni lola oi... Murag depress jud na cguro sya mao irritable kaau, Nabag-uhan sya sa tanan, sa pangkawala sa imo lolo, sa pandemic, sa stay at home nlng pirme. Kay if mka lakaw2x na sya for sure malingaw na sa lain butang.

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2 months ago

Ana gyud. Dako jud effect ang pandemic oy 😞

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2 months ago

ganyan talaga eh, dad ko 79 na saka masaydo nang bugnutin at mainit ulo. iniintindi ko nalang ahehe. natatakot rin ako mawala sya soon while dipako grad :<

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2 months ago

Cherish every moment you have with your dad. Bunso ka? 😁

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2 months ago

Opo ate bunso po

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2 months ago

The twilight years for our elders are really hard to take, for them and for us. :(

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2 months ago

It's very hard to adjust. 🤷‍♀️ we need extra mile of patience.

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2 months ago

but here in the Philippines, we just have to go the extra kilometers. Hehe.

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2 months ago

Yep, but the adjustment should always be in our part love.. no matter how hard it is.

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2 months ago

Yeah. It has to be our part. 🤷‍♀️

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2 months ago

Yeah.. because no matter how we look at it, they have been through a lot love, more than we could ever imagine :)

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2 months ago

That's true. I needed this so I can extend my patience more. Haha

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2 months ago

yeeep have more patience. :)

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2 months ago

Pag talaga tumatanda na nagiging bugnutin na sila ee. Parang si Mommy minsan pag sobra mag isip. Buti nga at nalilinang nya sarili nya sa Candy Crush ee. Iniintindi nalang namin, yon lang ang kailangan nila. Understanding from us.

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2 months ago

Ay nako madam. Lahat kami dito inaaway nya. Nag dadabog nga ngayon eh 😞😶

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2 months ago

Tsk, kawawa din naman madam. Siguro ay nababagot na din sya kasi di makagalaw aguy

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2 months ago

Need po niya sis ng mahabang pasensya at pag-intindi ssis. Enjoy niyo po bawat araw na kasama siya. Namiss ko tuloy lola ko. Wala na akong lola na mag aantay tuwing umuuwi ako ng probinsiya. Di na niya matitikman paborito niya na pasalubong ko sa kanya.

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2 months ago

Yes madam. Bugnotin na pag oldie na eh. Kaya habaan din nmin pasensya 😁

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2 months ago

What I can tell you is that older people who have left covid behind are left with sequelae. Something like constant mental and physical tiredness. mood swings towards sadness. And much more sensitive than they were before. I think a lot of love and patience is what is left to be given by their close family members.

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2 months ago

Thank you for these guidelines 🙏 all signs are there. 🥺

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2 months ago

Most of us after getting infected experienced anxiety and depression.. Based on my observation lang mas ni worsen akong anxiety and my husband developed the same while he was left alone in the facility. . My cousin who also got the virus kay gidala sab sa psychia because her situation is getting worst everyday, dili na matulog, dili mokaon and afraid of death pero frustrated kaayo sya. My co workers felt the same, too. Then recently my younger brother told me nagdepression sab iyang father in law after nagka covid.

In your grandmas case, siguro dala na tanan, pandemic, losing her husband, her age.. Hope mapangitaan og diversion si lola para dili na mosamot.. Sending hugs to your lola.. 🤗❤️

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2 months ago

Thank you for the high hopes madam. Grabe jud ang effect sa covid oy. Apektohan jud ang mental health. Mahadlok nata maulanan or maskin simple colds lng, ma paranoid 🥺

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2 months ago

True maskin karon naa mi pangbation tapos ang mga bata, sus maluya na dayon ko.. maningkamot gihapon maayo jd di lang mgthink og maot.. Unsa na lang tawon ng tigulang, samot pa jd na ilang bation

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2 months ago

Mao lage oy. Kuyaw jud kaayo bsta naa nay gabation ang isa sa balay. Imbis simple ubo or sipon lng pero kuyawan gyud ka oy

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2 months ago

Nakakalungkot naman po situation niya sa ngayon. Mukhang nacorner na sya sa iisang tabi kase wala na halos siyang malapitan. Stay strong po kay nanay at sa family ninyo!

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2 months ago

Feeling ko nga need nya kausap ng ka edaran niya kase mas nagkakaintindihan sila eh.

Thanks sa sponsorhsip ah. Hehe

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2 months ago

Baka depressed nga talaga sya ate :(. Sabi kasi nila pag tumatanda na daw sobrang sensitive and emotional na talaga daw kaya dapat mas extra gu g binibigay natin sa kanila. Nayasy, praying for your lola and whole family po ate.

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2 months ago

Halos lahat kaaway niya dito pag irritable sya. Kaya di rin maiwasan na magalit ako sa kanya. Haha 😅

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2 months ago

Sabagay po ahha. Yung lola ko po nun lagi ko kaaway eh HAHAHAH. bata pa kasi ako nun tas di niya ako peborit hahaha

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2 months ago

It's really sad reading this. I'm sure the death of her better half contributed to this. You guys are her shoulder right now. I can understand how Sad you are with her present condition. May God help you take care of her.

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2 months ago

Grandpa's death did a major impact to her situation now. Thanks for the kind words 🙏

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2 months ago

Maybe she's depressed nga madam, kakamatay lang pala ng lolo mo and then biglang nagkapandemic. She should be out lways para maibang but instead nakulong sya.. Keep her company lang madams..

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2 months ago

Yes madam. Hello there. You are back. Hehe

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2 months ago

Thanks Jeaneth, hehehe

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2 months ago

mahirap talaga mag adjust sa mga nakasanayan na niya. lalo pa at matanda na si lola mo siguro nababagot din sya madam kasi nabanggit mo na ang social life niya was affected ng pandemic kaya ganun. Need niya ng mkakausap na mga siguro kaedad niya ganun. Sana di siya depressed kasi kung ganun , mahirap lalo at matanda pa siya

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2 months ago

I really think she needs someone she can talk to as her age because they can relate to each other. Pag sa anak kase or apo, iba yung level of understanding eh. Hindi namemeet ang standard kase di naiintindihan.

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2 months ago

oo tapos try mo kayang kausapin then divert mo yung topic nung bata bata pa siya baka sakaling magkwento siya ng mga experiences niya na masasaya before. :)

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2 months ago

Madam, ganyan din si nanay ngayon but its because of Shingles. Di nya talaga kaya ang sakit. She feels depressed but we try to entertain her but if she's in bed I know she feels so bad and that's when she gets stress the most. Then her appetite is affected as well . She was never irritated or cheeky, she's always nice and kind. Pero madam ganyan talaga matatanda, too emotional na din. Lalo pa namiss nya si lolo mo for sure laging gusto susunod na sa kanya. Xxx

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2 months ago

Kaya nga madam. Fragile na sila masyado. Nakaka stress din satin na makita sila na nag susuffer noh? 🥺💔

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2 months ago