Are You A Certified Complainer?

How do you cope up with things? Whenever times are rough and you just feel like nothing makes sense, what do you usually do? Do you complain? How do you complain? Is it only through your mind and just keep your complaints about yourself? Or do you rant it on social media? Lastly, complaining with someone and exchanging sentiments?

When a situation arises and it's something that doesn't go my way, I get frustrated and complain. That's how I cope up with the situation initially. I usually express my frustration by complaining even if I'm alone. If I can't handle it anymore, I scream on my pillow.

One perfect example of this would be no internet connection. I believe everyone would agree to this. The moment you figure out the data is not working or your wifi light is red, you automatically get pissed and you restart the device.

Although I wouldn't say that I complain always. If I have a lot of patience left in my bank yet, then I'm good to go. Otherwise, I'll just keep my thoughts on my mind and express them through writing or playing music.

However, if you find someone always complaining, do you see him as a toxic person? Here's how to find out:

You are a complainer.

This personality of being a complainer is on a different level. This person is complaining about almost everything. He complains about his bed because it's too small, he complains about the table because it's not a circle, he complains about the food because he finds it not tasty. He finds everything not according to his preferences and so he is full of negativity.

I'm not fond of reading the bible but one thing that helped and always reminds me to be grateful is the story where God rescued the Israelites from the harsh lives they had in Egypt. Their masters are cruel and they get whipped whenever they don't satisfy. God took them to the promise land but then a lot of them were complaining because of lack of food and water.

The thing here is that we usually don't see the good things happening to us because we are mainly focused on the negative ones. That's actually an innate behavior of a human brain, we have a negative bias to everything. Then again, it's up to the person how you respond to the situation. Life is hard and we will always encounter trials.

Stop complaining and be grateful.

You would rather not try than fail.

Do you know someone who always complains but doesn't make a decision of resolving the issue? This is something you should watch out for a person. The level of toxicity living in his system hits different.

I have read a story about a man who keeps complaining about his work. He complains about having such a terrible workplace, not conducive for work, horrible boss, low pay, bad management, and rude colleagues. He was asked, "how long have you been there?". He replied, " almost 20 years".

Well, I will give him the benefit of the doubt. There must be a reason why he still stays with the company. Probably he has a loan from the company that he needs to pay back for years.

However, I was curious as to why he didn't look for options to free himself from suffering? He should've at least tried and maybe he figures out that he deserves so much better than that company. At least utilize the time of searching for what's best rather than just complaining.

You pick a fight too often.

This is dangerous. Definitely a dangerous one. When someone does pick a fight too often, he's going through a serious battle but you still shouldn't take that as an excuse for him getting pissed at almost everything.

He gets a lot of triggers and when he finally does, he becomes a different person. Most especially when you are in a relationship and you fight too often like on a daily basis. That person needs help.

You always find the bad in the good.

A negative person would always see the negative in every positive situation. When someone gets promoted, the negative person would say something like "ah, that's additional workload, over time, new stress". Well, it's true but can you not think about the positive side and boost your mind by saying "you must be doing well, I am trustworthy". Things like that.

I used to be a negative person. I have to admit that. But when a life-changing happened to me, everything has changed most especially my perspective in life. Although I wouldn't say I'm too optimistic because if things fail my expectations, I'll get hurt.

So I am mastering to be a realist. I am not setting my expectations too high, setting neutral boundaries but at the same time not thinking negatively.

You condemn yourself for your mistakes.

I believe getting frustrated with yourself is conventional but when it comes to the point that you are condemning and blaming yourself for everything that has happened, you should work it out.

Don't be too hard on yourself because everyone makes mistakes.

I hope that when you feel that negativity is overruling your life, you will find your way back to positivity to refocus and remind yourself that nobody is perfect. You learn by making mistakes.

Stop finding faults and look for treasures. It's just a matter of opening your eyes and being aware that there's still so much to be grateful for.

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Thanks for reading!

Keep safe everyone. ❤