It's already past 9 in the evening and Jackson is still waiting for Samantha. We've been trying to call her but her cellphone's dead and her mom won't answer my call. At least that's what I told him. I told him her mom won't answer my calls and that maybe she's busy.
He's becoming to get disappointed with Samantha and becoming really upset about the situation. He laid down and covered his face with his hanky. I think I heard him snuffled. Is he crying? I pitied him instantly. I've never felt bad for him in the situation until tonight.
I called his name and I tried to call him as gently as I can. He raised both his eyebrows and faced me. Before I can say a thing he spoke. He asked me why Samantha is so hard to get and if she (Samantha) really likes him. I felt his pain with the words he said. I can't answer him. I don't know what to say. Then he said words I didn't expect. Words that made me uncomfortable in a (kinda) nice way. He said to me that he wished I am Samantha."If only you're Samantha. I wish you're her..." Those were the exact words he said. I was stunned by what he said. It makes me want to tell him the truth. He said my name one more time and looked straight into my eyes. I couldn't move. He kissed me and I let him but the moment I realized it, I moved away. I felt bad. I felt like I'm cheating myself. I felt like he's cheating. He apologized and said he didn't mean to. What's annoying is that he said that he didn't mean to. Was it a mistake for him? I asked him to go. I just can't face him right now. I hated him for doing that but I also felt guilty and sorry for him. If only he knew, would it be a better first kiss for us? Or maybe, if he knew there won't be a first kiss for us.
He gathered his things and went home. I was left confused. Should I have just told him the truth? Was he capable of cheating? What if it wasn't me he kissed? Can he do that to another girl? I felt like he cheated on me. And now, I don't think I know how to talk to him as Samantha and pretend like I don't know he cheated. I am so confused. That kiss brings a lot of 'what ifs' and questions to my mind.
The next day, he was calling me (Samantha) and I answered it. He didn't ask me why I didn't show up. I wasn't supposed to know he's there. It was a surprise. I pretended I didn't know he's at Chloe's house and pretended I have no idea what happened last night. I was waiting for him to tell me. To confess. We talked for about 2 hours and he sounded like nothing happened. Like he never kissed someone. It's confirmed. It's considered cheating because he doesn't know the truth but he still kissed Chloe. What if I'm really not Chloe? Then he kissed my cousin? That's cheating. I'm disappointed. I don't want him to think Chloe's a bitch and a cheater so I decided I have to tell him that Chloe told me what happened.
So I did. I told him I know. He was surprised. He was mad at first because we're talking for hours now and I didn't bother to tell him earlier. I told him I was giving him time and a chance to tell the truth, and I became angry that he's trying to turn the table around. He apologized after realizing I'm starting to get really mad. I didn't know what else to say and how else to act so I hung up on him.
I honestly don't know how to work things out now. This is the first time we had this kind of argument. This is the first time we seriously fight. I don't know whether to just let him be for now or should I apologize to him as Chloe. Or would that be necessary. I don't know. Really.
I'm thinking of calling my two best friends then I realized I also have to tell Mary! I realized that Mary likes him, and that's the reason why she gave me his number. I called Mary first. to get close to him. Just be close to him. It was part of the plan to make him fall for Samantha and when they break up, we'll still be close. I called Mary first and told her the truth. She wasn't mad but she's sad. She said she's sad because she knows I'm hurting. She also told me it was just a crush and it's not that serious and that we're just 3 insane girls that made insane choices back then. Then we talked to Amanda. She's also sad for me. They told me they'll support me whatever decision I make regarding the situation. I feel really lucky for having two friends like them. I apologized to them for falling in love with Jackson and they told me it wasn't my fault. We all know that the plan was risky and falling in love might be a consequence and might have its consequences. I love my two friends. I'm glad they're here for me especially now.
So-called Lover (I)Â |Â So-called Lover (II)Â |Â So-called Lover (III) |So-called Lover (IV)
Oh-kay.. They kissed. Is it better they did or would it be better if they didn't?
Stay tuned for Part 6! It's my rest day at work so hopefully, I can write the next part.
Thanks for reading!
Love,
Jdine 💜🖤💜🖤💜
