We tend to hate people because were just humans

Were just humans, and were not perfect. But why, for instance we felt the hate to other people whom said such hurtful things or words to us. Supposedly, we shouldn't feel such feelings because as I've said were not perfect. We all made mistakes. We made a mistakes and from that mistake other people made such mistakes as well through bad mouthing to what mistakes we've made.

Now, to forgive and forget such mistake will take place. But, how can we easily forgive if people already judge us as if they knew us totally by just one mistake we've made. It's like a stain in your white shirts. They will sees first the stain on your white shirts and will say something about it not even looking the beauty of the white shirts. I mean, with just one mistake were being judge as if we killed someone. The good things we did just fades away and only remembers that one mistake. That is why, even if how good we are if we made a mistake once it's already made us the bad one or the evil one.

Why I had thoughts like this? It's because I experienced being humiliated and judge by people whom doesn't know me well. A people that I never expected to say something bad to me where in fact they never saw me in person. Moreso, knew me well.That even my own family that knew me well never said such bad words to me and then with them, with one action I did which I accept that it's a mistake done then they said such hurtful words out from that. They judged me as if they knew me from head to toe.

I really hate it especially that this I'm referring to has ties with me and I now left no choice but to accept that they were already part of my son's bloodline.Maybe you know what I mean here.

These people are on my partner's side and honestly I had this hate in my heart to them up until now because I hate their attitude of being PLASTIC. (You know what I mean?) Good in front of you but will just backstab you when your not on their front. Talked things about you that aren't true and mostly exaggerated and this is what I really hate the most. Something like, you became a thief on other people's eyes because that's what they hear about you which are not true.

I felt this hate to them, because in the first place I never asked them anything to provide us. In fact, I did all the hard works for my son to have his milk everyday and has food to eat. Even cents I never asked them. If they had given something I never asked that to them. There the one who gave that in their own will. I just thought if they're the one who provides our son's needs I can't imagine how ruined I am. If also I don't have any degree, for sure they're just treated me the worst I could imagine knowing their attitude and ability. Good thing I wasn't and showed them that they had no right of insulting me and confront them back as well.

How does it happen anyway?

Now, here's the story. . .

When I and my partner agreed to lived together we first stayed at his grandma's house. We stayed there for 8 months long. You know that staying with the in laws is not easy especially if the in laws are just like what I mentioned above. Your actions were limited and even if your doing good still they had something not good to say when I'm not in front of them.

During our last month there, my partner had fights on his cousin who is a deaf. I'm actually sharing about this matter here about how they tolerated a deaf's mistake which turns out to be a spoiled brat. This is were my in laws abilities and attitudes came out. Because they always defended the deaf even if it's his mistake and my partner doesn't want it because he wants to disciplined his cousin for him to realized and understand that what he did was a mistake. But this grandma of my partner always has to say something that aren't true and exaggerated. She always called her family and talked about what my partner did to the deaf and would say that it shouldn't be done to the deaf and we should patience from him because his deaf and can't understand. Then said that we are the one who brought chaos in there house of not having patience to her beloved grandson whose deaf. Were in fact, we or my partner to be exact already put a lot patience but since his cousins did a lot of mistakes already and it's unbearable that's why my partner did the action to disciplined his cousin. But it seems and turns out that we don't have patience because of what we did.

Because of that, out of my anger from such thoughts I accidentally posts on my Facebook story about how and what I felt on such matter. My post point is that, "why did my partners grandma listens to a deaf when she knew how this deaf were so liar and won't listen to my partner whose telling the truth and would say some exaggerated things instead." Because, everytime what a deaf said to her like if he said he was punched by my partner in the face which my partner never did. But his grandma would listen to the deaf instead to my partner. Things like that. That's why I'm also in the middle of my anger because she also said that I pushed my partner to do such things and I was like huh. ? whaaat? Then, I accidentally post such matter were in fact I didn't want it to be posted because I knew it wasn't right as well. But since, without me knowing my son did click the post and I haven't noticed it. I just noticed it when I received chats from the family of my partner's grandma, her daughter and granddaughter whose in Manila.

This was the time, they chatted me such hurtful words because there point why did I posted like that and it's also the time that I knew that this grandma had lots of things said about me, about us to her family which are all exaggerated and I never thought she said those things because she's good in front of me. How come? Since, I can't handle such things because they already said such words that are below the belt as if they really knew why I posted such matter. Even if as well, they never knew me well and knew the truth because somehow this grandma also is a liar because she would talked too much beyond truth. The reason why I had this hate to them until now.

Because I had this attitude that once I was being degraded and humiliated with a false I seems not to like those who said that to me and will hate them no matter what and this is what I felt right now.

That's why after that incident, I really find a house to be rent for us to leave there because I can't bare their plasticity towards me anymore. It's the reason why it's somehow heavy for us to be free in that house. Well, I'm glad as well that we separated now and lived in our own. Now, I find peace living separated with the in laws.

My partner said that I should forget and forgive them so that I'll find peace in my heart.

His right actually, but to the pain is still in me. The pain that I felt from all of them still like a stain in my heart that is hard to get. That's why, I hardly forgive them. Not now, and not today. Maybe one day when this stain or pain will gradually healed and that time I can forgive them. But for sure, I'll distant myself to them already because I don't want to be surrounded by plasticity.

That's all for now. Have a great day!

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