Love & Marriage

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Avatar for HappyBoy
2 years ago

You will always be unprepared when you get married. There's no perfect time or age for marriage. We can only say, there's an "ideal" age and time. Though what is ideal to someone might not be to another.

Marriage is a life contract, it’s something you have to go into without being prepared. You have to understand that marriage is going to change your life, and not all of the changes will be positive, some will be negative and some will be positive.

You have to go in there knowing that you are going to learn something. You are going to have moments where you will be mad at him, you’re going to have moments where he will be mad at you, but what’s most important is that you love him true. Love him through the good, love him through the bad, love him through it all. In fact, you need more than Love.

Jump into that fire with nothing but two hands and a ring on your finger and just get ready for it to be the best ride of your life.

We argued into the night yesterday, everyone with a different opinion of what marriage is or what marriage should not be. What I could conclude on is- Everyone comes from different backgrounds and with a different opinion. Our tastes are different and we all want different things for ourselves. We should go for what our hearts desire and face the repercussion ourselves. Though we need to also consider the advice of others to some extent.

What most people don’t know is that marriage is quite different from just dating. Marriage is a long term contract that is very hard to opt-out of, you’ll consider so many things before quitting a marriage- the kids, time invested in the marriage and many more. Unlike dating that most people go into at will at any time and can live without any obligation tying you down. You don’t rush into marriage. If you rush in, you will rush out.

No matter how we try to write off the impact of parents in the choice of marriage, the truth is that in a country like Nigeria, Parents still play a great role when it comes to choosing a marriage partner. Civilization and all has made us reduce the roles of parents to just being the “ceremonial” Parents on just the wedding day.

I’m one for "One Nigeria", no cultural discrimination o bias but when it comes to Marriage we need to talk about cultural differences, religion well with our spouse before going to the altar. Need I say, what works for Mr A might work for Mr C but when Mr B tries it, he fails woefully. Because some people practice something doesn't mean you also should. The rate at which marriages are ending nowadays is so disheartening. One can’t help asking -” Why go into it at all?”

When the Love is still hot we make promises. “ I don’t care about your religion, you can practice yours while I practice mine after marriage,” we say to each other. But issues start arising when the couple give birth and it is time for the kids to pick a religion. Disagreement and conflict start coming up every day. This is something couples ought to talk about well while still in the dating stage but it's painful to see that the dating stage is now used for visiting restaurants and snapping pictures together for the internet.

Another issue is cultural diversity and upbringing. Love can’t be controlled, we don’t have much say in who we fall in love with. It’s normal to see people fall in love with someone from another culture but we need to ask ourselves if it can work. Cultural diversity birth different lifestyles and behaviour, you have to put this into consideration before going into any marriage.

Finally, the issue we’ve been avoiding for a long time. Parents’ approval is needed in marriages. Though their job isn’t to pick a partner for us but advise us, we can’t disregard their input in the choice of partner. At intervals, parents and family tend to intervene but it is left to you to let them know that you are old enough to take your decision but their advice is appreciated.

To end it, this might sound controversial but it is what it is "Marriage is ordained by God and it's a wonderful thing, but it isn't Compulsory". One can choose to be single and it's expected of people to respect that.

Thanks for Reading! 🥰💚😍

Special thanks to ate Jane for the sponsorship renewal. 💙

 

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2 years ago

Comments

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1 week ago

Never liked the idea of marriage, the idea of waking up with one person beside everyday is just ...

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2 years ago

You are right that marriage isn´t compulsory but if God want it for you, you will surely get married. One thing we must never fail to do is to define our relationship before entering into marriage because there won´t be chance to define anything again. You accept whatever comes to you.

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2 years ago

Exactly, marriage is not dating. There are important discussions that should be had before getting into it

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2 years ago

I chose to be single and I want to stay that for long. No to marriage for me 🙉🙈.

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2 years ago

Yrs dear love and marriage is the great thing in our life..but some time we lose our love for the sake of our family and get marry and that time we became sad

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2 years ago

marriage is a serious and a big decision of our life and i like arrange marriage not a love

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2 years ago

You raised a very good topic, my friend, in my opinion, no matter how much two people know each other, so as not to go under one roof, they still don't know each other completely. The important thing in a successful marriage is mutual understanding and respect for the values ​​and opinions of the other party. In marriage, it is very important to stop talking about me, and to talk about who we are.

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2 years ago

Marriage is totally different from just dating.. like in investment, it's for a long-term investment, not short term. And DYOR before you get into it 🤣🤣

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2 years ago

Lol marriage is more like a life contract... Its a contract lol though most people do think of divorce due to some certain encounter in the marriage

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2 years ago

Marriage is more of a journey and love alone won't sustain it, you will have to learn patience, commitment, and all cause everyday you see a different side of your partner.

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2 years ago

Marriage is more of a journey and love alone won't sustain it, you will have to learn patience, commitment, and all cause everyday you see a different side of your partner.

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2 years ago

As the world is changing so as the world of Marriage is changing and getting worst. A lot of things we used to consider before as necessary requirements for marriage are no longer in used because of the so called "modern age" and that's why marriages are crashing quickly. In my house till now, if a girl brings a guy she want to marry, my parents have a say Especially with the the state/region of the man....make we no go marry someone that eats human🥱

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2 years ago

Marriage is not compulsory. But marriage is beautiful. You can't find a perfect person but you can get the perfect person for you, it's just about being matured enough to sacrifice and love regardless of the situation

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2 years ago

I used to not like getting married. I even started to prepare myself to a life that doesn’t require me to be with someone for the rest of my life, but people started to question and pressure me. Marriage means commitment and that’s dreadful. Lol! But then I met someone whom I want to be with always….and we’ll tie the knot this year. Approval of both families aren’t needed, it’s easier I think here in the Philippines.

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2 years ago

Marriage changes your life. In many cases for the better. As long as there is true love, it is the best.

PS: We miss you at TG

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2 years ago

These are facts,,, but I don't like some of them for example, the cultural diversity and the parents' consent... I want to be free and unhindered... It's why I joke every time they I'm a citizen of the world lol...

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2 years ago

Marriage really takes a lot of time and a sincere heart to really understand what you are getting into. We should be very careful and use our brains and not just jumping into situations just because our hearts want to.

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2 years ago

Marriage is a serious event and should be decided wisely. It is a lifetime commitment. And I agree, culture and religion plays a major role in this one. As much as possible, find someone with the same culture and religion.

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2 years ago

I think people tend to forget that marriage is optional and not compulsory. And the need to satisfy the compulsive need for marriage pushes a lot of people into wrong marriage

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2 years ago

Love and marriage. Some couple got married because of pregnancy, others said they didnt love each other but for the sake of the baby inside the womb they will plan to be married. But for me why you will marry him or her if you didnt love each other Im sure it will result to a failed marriage. Love has a big role in getting married, because marriage is a lifetime commitment for me.

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2 years ago

Not only there but also in my country, people need to recheck facts about two family. Many things needed to be matched. Long process.

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2 years ago

Marraige is far different from just dating. In life, when you are prepared for marriage, then you can go ahead to marry or else there is no specific time of number 9f years you will get to before getting yourself a wife. The only thing there is just preparation.

Love on the other hand must be in between the two because they can embark on marrying. When there is no love, marriage can always be broken.

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2 years ago

My dear friend, i have seen a lot of marriages that failed today to be as a result of the fact that there seems not to be any more money in it. Most persons feel love should be there when there is money but this is very untrue and improper planning as well can make may marriages or have made many marriages failed today, so i'm not surprised as it is no new thing there daya especially

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2 years ago

Love and marriage. One of the reason why marriages fail this days is the fact that people enter into marriages without proper planning. You've said it.

And then, in marriages... sometimes, love is not always enough

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2 years ago